THIS. IS. GMAIL!!!!

A while ago at work we switched our email from Microsoft Outlook to Google Mail and one of the greatest things about it besides it's distinct lack of usability is that you can modify your profile.

Every week I change my profile picture on my work account.

If you want to see all the profiles I've done thus far, this is place to start a'clicking.

People here have actually seemed to enjoy the changes, so here's some more of what people have been getting to see when they contact me:

I thought I'd really get some shit for the Wiener one but nothing came.

So many jokes in that one sentence.

I'm changing these up, like, twice a week so if you have any recommendations I'd appreciate it.

Thanks in advance.

The crazy smiley native guy needs his own talk show

A while ago at work we switched our email from Microsoft Outlook to Google Mail and one of the greatest things about it besides it's distinct lack of usability is that you can modify your profile.

Every week I change my profile picture on my work account.

If you want to see all the profiles I've done thus far, this is place to start a'clicking.

People here have actually seemed to enjoy the changes, so here's some more of what people have been getting to see when they contact me:

I think my favorite is the kid from "Mask" because that's pretty much what I look like prior to coffee.

Extra bonus points if you got "Doug Henning" correct. Also? YOU'RE SO OLD.

I'm changing these up, like, twice a week so if you have any recommendations I'd appreciate it.

Thanks in advance.

I can't believe no one recognizes Kip Winger any more. OH, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN!

A while ago at work we switched our email from Microsoft Outlook to Google Mail and one of the greatest things about it besides it's distinct lack of usability is that you can modify your profile.

Every week I change my profile picture on my work account.

If you want to see all the profiles I've done thus far, this is place to start a'clicking.

People here have actually seemed to enjoy the changes, so here's some more of what people have been getting to see when they contact me:

I crossed out Joanie because WHAT WAS CHACHI THINKING?!?!?!

The guy just above Kip Winger there came up in the search for "creepy guy pictures" and I think that picture pretty much NAILS IT.

I had a couple of people come up to me at work when I had the Kip Winger one and go, "Who is that? Bon Jovi?"

No. No it's NOT BON JOVI. Kip Winger had way better chest hair.

Regardless, it was a pretty hairy week. A big, hairy week.

That was a Kip Winger joke.

I'm changing these up, like, twice a week so if you have any recommendations I'd appreciate it.

Thanks in advance.

Google thinks I look like WHAT?!

I found this neat little thing on Google recently where you can drag an image into the Google search bar and - lo and behold - it comes up with what it thinks are similar images.

Of course, I tried it.

Picture #1: My scar is a hot Asian woman living in Graceland

Remember my old bicep scar? Well, if you don't, here you go:

GAH. I live with it and it STILL grosses me out.

Well, that was the first picture I dragged into the Google image bar.

Let's see what Google came up with.

YES.

Because if there's anything that looks like a torn bicep repair scar that's 8 inches long it's a hot tattooed Asian chick, one of 2 different cat pictures or Elvis lying on his side.

NEXT.

Geoff Tate looks like an old black man

I don't know WHY I choose the lead singer of Queensryche for my next search other than I've been trying to get them to adopt a new concert series based on my "Operation HamsterCrime" rock opera.

This has proved to be a fruitless endeavor.

Regardless, I put Geoff's picture in the Google image generator and...

Me: "Hey. Has anyone ever told you that you look JUST LIKE Geoff Tate from Queensryche?"

Black Guy: "Say who now?"

NEXT.

My Avatar and insect sex

Most people recognize who they're talking to when they see the avatar of my hand with eyes and lipstick on it.

Great. Now I'm horny.

So of course that was the next thing I put into the Google image locator and...

Hm.

A gangsta, chicken toy, guy in a bathrobe, painted ariola and two dragonflies banging.

I guess that makes sense.

..AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

Oh yeah. I'm all that and a bag of chips.

Of course I had to put in my OWN picture to see what Google came up with for matches.

Here you go:

Ryan Gosling? David Duchovny? Jared Leto?

Man. I'm hot.

Even the CHICKS it thinks I look like are good looking.

I guess sometimes Google images kind of hits the nail on the head.