Everyone loves a giant testicle.
Apparently.
In doing my stat checks for this site, I've come across something fairly disturbing.
This is above and beyond the fact that people land on "Mental Poo" by searching for sh*t like:
1) girls stick poo in the vagina
(seriously...um...EW)
What makes this one worse, is that there were TWO f*cking searches for this.
Two.
FREAKS.
2) vibrator supermarket passed out
I need to start going to the grocery store more often.
3) vegetable penetration
I'm wondering if this is the same lady from item #2.
Regardless...
What I find most disturbing, is that every time I check to see where people have come from to get to my site...
...a LOT of the time, it's from finding THIS picture:
Yep.
Elephantitis of the balls.
Interestingly, I didn't even POST this picture...
...I just linked to it in my "Alphabet of Pain" post.
But, hey...
...traffic is traffic.
Readers are readers.
If you got to me because you like seeing gigantic testicles, well...
...um...
Hi?
Listen, I don't want to admit to false advertising, but those certainly ain't my "globules of love."
Anyway...may I say to you a hearty:
"Welcome!"
You F*cking Freak.
Oui, de search engines are fickle things, post a naked pic of a celebrity and watch your hits go through the roof
ReplyDeleteHe he you get funnier
ReplyDeletePol x
Hey MP
ReplyDeleteVPTV here. Wanted to let you know that my several links to you have been moved to posts and off my front pages. Evidently I violated some Google search engine rule for too many template links.
Your site is weird enough that you might like a video I put up on YouTube a few weeks ago. Warning - if you are a believer in the Bible, you may find it offensive:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sU9pAf2XaE
Keep up the good work.
LB
ummm... those aren't your balls? this changes everything.
ReplyDeleteI let out a little moan when I saw those. It was not a moan of pleasure. It was the kind that grows louder and louder until you wake up screaming from the nightmare.
ReplyDeleteNow you know that's going to leave stretchmarks.
ReplyDeleteSick Sick people out there. Everyone knows the correct way for getting poo in the vag.
ReplyDeleteCome on people!
thanks. my co-workers...all of them... just invaded my office because i had my head on my desk, slapping the desk top as i howled in laughter, tears running from my eyes. you may be seeing a jump in web traffic from my neck of the woods.
ReplyDelete"globules of love" ~snorting in a very unladylike manner~
This needed an NSFW tag.
ReplyDeleteBad.
By far, the most popular search term is something along the lines of Totally Naked Middle-Aged Neighbor Ladies. Fart on Command is another popular one, too.
ReplyDeleteSome of the more recent oddities include Mushrooms Urine Odor and Pomegranate Juice Make Me Fart.
Hot Cock is becoming popular since my Hot Cock Sauce post.
Lately I've gotten quite a lot of hits from folks looking for porn of the illegal variety. They are suddenly presented with an image of my tubal ligation and click that. Don't they know they leave their IP #s with me, to do with what I will, if I have good enough reason to be sure of the context of their search?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, nice balls.
Ok, you get sickos. I mostly get people in far far away lands searching for ME. Talk about freaky.
ReplyDeleteI notice that, unlike your balls, your posts have shrunk.
ReplyDeleteI got here searching for "F*cking Freak", but don't know if you would call me a "F*cking Freak" for coming here this way. Would I be a meta-F*cking Freak? I wish the Internet would return to its simpler days when all there was was CNN.com and porn.
ReplyDeleteDisgusting, awesome blogs like yours and mine get the funniest hits, no?
ReplyDeleteTraffic is traffic!
Hey how did you know I was a f**king Freak? That's what my husband calls me. "She's a Super Freak. Super Freak. A Super Freaky! :o)~
ReplyDeleteSo, um.... should I take it personal that I'm not on your blogroll? I mean, I realize we're sorta kinda secret bloggy friends and all.... lol.. but still...
ReplyDeleteOk, maybe the stalking thing is all one-sided on my part. Good to know. :)
Truth be known, I came here for the giant testicles but after the truth was revealed, it was your charm that made me stay. :)
ReplyDeletehahahaha, the best thing about these who searched for what posts that i see at least three or four times a week is that they reinforce the hits cos you posted the terms again, so you can expect all those wierdos back, and more, yayayayaya for you,
ReplyDeleteUgh - sorry I hadn't replied to any of these comments. Been busy.
ReplyDeleteSo, if you know what you're comment was, please insert one of the following appropriate responses:
1) Tell me about it!
2) This is why I eat fiber.
3) I just knew it. This is the price I pay for being a genius.
4) If those WERE my balls, I'd certainly need a bigger chair.
5) Blue.
Okay...I promise to start catching up better now.
Oh Jesus God.
ReplyDeleteSomeone found my blog once by searching for "revenge on husband, tampon up his butt"
Nice.
Oh and my word verification starts with "vd". Just thought you'd want to know that.