Hell the What Writing is This the Saying Woman?

Trust me.

That title will play itself out in a minute.

My wife, as an inner-city Kindergarten teacher, gives me a lot of story ideas.

This post is no exception.

My wife showed me a response she received from a newsletter that was sent home with the kids.

At the end of the newsletter, was a space for the parents to put in any comments.

People, let me say this:

If you think teachers are overpaid and have it easy...

...try deciphering shit like this every day (click to enlarge):

Sorry about the bluriness..but my camera phone is a piece of shit (the only one I've ever found with rotary dial).

Worst $4.99 I've ever spent.

Can you hear me now?

No. No I can't.

I don't think this phone came with a fucking speaker.

HELLO? HELLO?

Fuck you, Verizon.


The comments the mom wrote were:

"I am look not bad Her write a paper draw idea to paper Her self write letter a paper Her know good count and number a paper."

* blink

I've read this, like, 12 times and don't have a single fucking clue what this is supposed to say.

Keep in mind this in NOT the Kindergarten student.

This is her MOTHER.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

My wife gets a second - SECOND - response...

...almost as bad as the first:


* blink

* blink blink

"I am look her self write count paper her see count easy a paper."

Oh.

Obviously.

I'm dying to know what these actually mean.

I figure I'd just send them each a letter asking:

"Dear Illiterate Mom,

The fuck?"

I'm just hoping they don't reply.

I don't have that kind of time to try to figure that shit out.