Where was I?
Oh.
Halloween Costumes.
Obviously.
This year my daughter wanted to be a "Ghost Hunter" because she LOOOOOVES the show 'Ghost Hunters' even though we pretty much crapped all over the show in this video:
My sincere apologies to Amy Bruni here because I never thought she'd watch that (and SHE DID) otherwise I wouldn't have put in the part where she basically shits all over herself, cosmetically speaking.
I'm sorry, Amy. I'd still totally do you if that makes you feel any better.
Right after I nail Kris Williams.
So my daughter wants to be a 'Ghost Hunter' for Halloween so my ex-wife looks at me and says, 'You're the creative one' (um..hello? And AWESOME ONE) so I went home with a bag that included a shirt, a hat, and 14 different fabric paints and spent two days making this kickass thing:
Also, ladies...
I can cook.
*women everywhere reading this begin to slide off chairs
And then after I was done doing this and I put my vagina away for the winter I had my daughter try on the finished product:
BAM.
So that took care of my daughter.
Two days, a shirt, a hat and five different fabric paints later.
Please. Hold your applause. I know I'm awesome.
Meanwhile..my son's choices for Halloween...
A knight?
NO!
A vampire?
NO!
Stormtrooper?
Um...
Nope.
So after I finished laughing in the middle of the Halloween store I was, like:
Me: "Cam..are you SURE you want to be a Woopie Cushion for Halloween?"
Cam: "Well..there IS one other thing I want to be."
Me: "Yeah? Okay..what is it?"
BEHOLD!
Yep.
My son went around Halloween night dressed as a banana.
The bright side?
I didn't have to touch a single bottle of fabric paint.
That's my boy.
Dude, there is some seriously awesome symmetry to this!
ReplyDeleteAt least he didn't want to be a kumquat.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea why but the word Kumquat makes me snicker.
KUM. QUAT.
:-) I loved this whole piece...
ReplyDeleteMy son called "Ghost Hunters" "SHHHHH! Did you hear that?"
Then he laughs.
I no longer watch the show.
Pearl
The only thing better than a banana? A bedazzled banana! It's like you're not even trying!
ReplyDeleteI love how you took Cam shopping for whoopie cushion costumes at the adult toy store, and tried passing it off as a "Halloween store".
ReplyDeleteNice save.
If I'd known there were actual whoopee cushion costumes, I would've been all over that.
ReplyDeleteThat video was perfect, by the way. I can't wait to let my daughter watch it and see if she freaks out at the idea of her own stuffed animals coming to life and walking around, filming her at night.
It's a likely outcome. Especially since she has the same blue puffle. I do not understand the puffles.
Nice to see your son learns the value of a strong banana at a early age. great post
ReplyDeleteDayo.
ReplyDeleteDa-a-a-yooooo.
Daylight come and me want to come home.
Seems those kids are really cute in spite of you!
ReplyDeleteAw. You ARE an awesome parent!
ReplyDeleteWicked: That's what she said.
ReplyDeleteVapid: Why are all the really filthy chicks not on the East Coast?
Pearl: I don't watch it any more, either. When Kris does the Playboy spread, maybe I'll reconsider.
Elly: Jesus, woman. Like I didn't do enough?
Typical.
Ed: Shhhhhhh
Didactic: I'm nothing if not a terrifier of children.
Pretty sure I just made up that word.
Waltsense: It's called 'great parenting.'
Quirky: He's a member of Team Potassium.
Eva: In spite? No. BECAUSE.
Have you seen me? I'm really quite amazing.
Meleah: We should just make out and get it over with.
ok this is the second recent and random appearance of the apples, so I'm going to acknowledge the apples. APPLES APPLES APPLES.
ReplyDeletespeaking from my own experience, amy will not feel any better
ReplyDeletethis was super funny and i laughed out loud many many times i may even share it to the 15 people i let read my facebook page
I did slide right off my chair when I learned you can cook. and then I changed my undies.
ReplyDeleteand cut-off jeans *are* pretty terrifying.
Sir?
ReplyDeleteYou could have just stopped at the title.
Swooning and sliding.
Sadly?
No undies.
Wait . . . did I say "sadly?"
Not so much.
AW come on, you loved every minute painting that shirt with your delicate little lady fingers, dude. And your kids are cute! How'd you manage THAT? :)
ReplyDeleteAlso Amy>Kris. Kris is too whiny. That is all.
and i thought my kids being a zombie bee, and a zombie bunny were odd. :)
ReplyDeleteA man willing to work with fabric paint will not be single long. ;) Great job on the costume. And your son looks cute! Looks like you had a great Halloween.
ReplyDeleteA man willing to work with fabric paint will not be single long. ;) Great job on the costume. And your son looks cute! Looks like you had a great Halloween.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked that you weren't 100% behind the whoopie cushion idea.
ReplyDeleteMy son wanted to be the Whoopie Cushion, but then went with a Ninja, go figure
ReplyDeleteFrom Dark Satan to whoopie cushion. Dude, I think that your kid is messing with you.
ReplyDeleteSo, was that whoopie cushion functional?
From Dark Satan to whoopie cushion. Dude, I think that your kid is messing with you.
ReplyDeleteSo, was that whoopie cushion functional?
Damn! If you were only 6 more inches taller I would be all over you like white on rice.
ReplyDeleteWhoopie cushion? Banana? That's definitely your kid!
ReplyDelete(BTW... awesome job on the Ghost Hunters outfit.)
jsvawjy [url=http://heatmania.com/www.midgetmanofsteel.com/]www.midgetmanofsteel.com[/url] yzorjbh
ReplyDeleteGlitter paint? You're the best dad ever!
ReplyDeleteAnd the fact that your son chose the most phallic fruit of them all...classic! And more proof he's your son. Not that you needed any.
Why don't you just put your penis in those apples and get it over with?
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one singing, "Peanut Butter Jelly time -- double time!" right now?
ReplyDeleteYou could have at least used some glitter paint on that banana or something. Geesh.
ReplyDelete