Work is hard, yo.
Anyway, Kristin had been complaining that her face hurt around her left eye at which point I assumed that her husband, Jeff, was abusing her which is nothing to be taken lightly, of course, but I was joking around and when joking around, nothing says 'funny' like spousal abuse commentary.*
*notsomuch
Also this scenario is pretty unrealistic since she could totally kick his ass PLUS even though she's married to him, Jeff is kind of gay and the best he could probably muster was, like, a semi-hard pinch or something.
So my morning was comprised of an Instant Message involving porn, spousal abuse, and The Last Airbender...and then writing this post.
Then I went back to my Mario Lopez/Ayatollah Khomenei project.
Seriously, am I gonna be in deep shit with the Arab world for this or what?
Meh.
You could always hide out with Salman Rushdie.. I am sure he's lots of fun.
ReplyDeleteI think he'd mind if you gave him Mario's hair, just don't mess with the beard. He spent a long time getting it just right.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be opening in suspicious-looking packages if I were you!
ReplyDeleteOnly you could make "semi-hard pinch" sound like porn.
ReplyDeletelol at your semi-hard pinch. he sounds like such a beast! guess it depends on where the pincher is pinching.
ReplyDeleteWhy you gotta make fun of University of Phoenix? I used to teach there. It's the Harvard of the strip mall...
ReplyDeleteyou totally nailed the dick slapping sound. wap wap wap.
ReplyDeleteps: kristen rulz!
I think Kristin should dump her gay husband and hook up with you in your small apartment. That way, when you wake up to fish smells, it will be more fun.
ReplyDeleteSo, you dick smack avatars (and coworkers if you're lukcy)on the side?
ReplyDeleteYou should really type up a resume for us some day. I'd love to see it!
If you cock really looked like the Avatar kid it would have it's own show already.
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't it have its own show?
Vodka: I've been trying to call him but he's not picking up!!
ReplyDeleteVinny: Hm. Too late. Half the battle is in Mario's dimples.
Man. That sounds gay.
Ed: I don't think it's illegal if you're from there, though.
You moving now?
Kage: RIGHT?!
Eva: haha. you said 'packages.'
Elly Lou: It's a gift, really.
Sherilin: Yes. He's a beast alright.*
*notsomuch
Brutalism: Explains SO MUCH about today's generation.
pattypunker: Please describe in detail how you know this.
Include pics.
Kimber: ..and this is news..how?
;)
Coffey: Preaching to the choir, my friend.
Sister: Wow, lady. You give me so many great ideas!!
Mike: It does. It's called "Jay Leno"
I think that if you don't end up on a fatwa or national security list of some kind, you're doing life wrong.
ReplyDeleteJust don't accept any cartooning jobs from that newspaper in Denmark...
ReplyDeletePearl
I like the "wap wap wap" sound effect.
ReplyDeleteI've never had that much fun at any job - with any co-worker. ever.
ReplyDeleteSalman Rushdie got married to the very sexy and very top-heavy Padma Lakshmi, which makes me want to go take drawing lessons just so I can make lots of cartoons of allah or whatever it would take to nail someone like her.
ReplyDeleteKristen's got a great sense of humor. But I can't help but wonder why you haven't been fired?
ReplyDeleteI usually hear fwap fwap fwap. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe using too much wrist?
ReplyDeletePlease advise.
"I don't see how you walk around with those things."