Friday, December 03, 2010

Where Injuries are a Job Requirement

I was at work the other day walking into the bathroom because that's honestly where I spend 80% of my work day which may or may not be correct since percentages really aren't my strong suit..

...when I noticed this:



*blink

Why?!

Why do I need to Xpect First Aid?!

What's going to happen to me?

Is there danger near?!

Are there enemies lurking nearby?!

Really really sharp desk corners?!

*looks around carefully*

Ninjas?

I DIDN'T SIGN ON FOR THIS.

Fuck this bullshit.

I'm outta here.

14 comments:

  1. Amy7:58 AM

    We have this exact same First Aid box in my office. Unfortunately, the only thing I've come to "Xpect" from it is some douchebag to have taken all of the ibuprofen when I'm hungover. Oh, and monitor wipes. (Why?)

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  2. Kimber Leszczuk.8:05 AM

    LMAO - that would make me VERY paranoid about security.

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  3. WILLIAM8:42 AM

    You should replace all the band aids and guaze with Condoms.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ed9:26 AM

    Can it even be called "First" aid if you're already expecting it?

    Seems like that would be assumed aid, or second aid following prevention.

    My brain hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com10:05 AM

    I could really use a t-shirt with that sign on it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Elly Lou10:08 AM

    I think that emergency kit is threatening to impregnate you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Vodka Logic10:11 AM

    I Xpect we don't need that where I work...the ER is one floor up

    ReplyDelete
  8. Moooooog3511:04 AM

    Great. I just got a blister hanging Christmas lights in my cube.

    I KNEW working was dangerous.

    Well..not sure that actually counts as working, but my cube looks really really festive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dazee Dreamer12:40 PM

    We have Cintas too and I Xpect that the drugs will go quickly by the dude that is addicted to pain killers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Unknown1:50 PM

    As always, you crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pearl1:10 AM

    They took ours away, but not before stripping it, slowly, for months, first of the Ibuprofen, then of the heartburn medicines. Apparently they were afraid someone would become ill on something and sue.

    Twits.

    Pearl

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  12. Malach the Merciless11:47 AM

    It depends on how hard you push out the poo

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  13. SisterMerryHellish2:30 PM

    Perhaps you've perfected time travel and are messing with your own head! Sounds like something you'd do!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous6:46 AM

    This is only partly relevant: at my friend's apartment, the only things he has in his first aid kit are one bandaid from 1997, a blade from a scalpel, and a bag of weed.

    I am not even kidding.

    ReplyDelete