I get nauseous just picturing what I found in my 10 year-old daughter's overnight bag.
You know, sometimes the harsh reality of being the father of a little girl really knocks you down and takes the wind right out of you.
Next to my daughter's overnight bag, I found..
THIS:
That's my daughter's Nintendo DS case.
Apparently she has "Bieber Fever."
I feel like throwing up.
Oh crap! I'd want to vomit too.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's no different from 20yrs ago and every girl (except me, seriously, I listened to G'n'R) was writing "I <3 NKOTB" on their arms with permanent marker. OH JOEY, AHHHHHHH!
Bright side--at least you didn't find it in your son's bag.
ReplyDeleteOh come on you pussy! At least she likes a cheesy dude with lesbian hair, it could be worse. I mean she could have Jared Leto fever or something grotesque like that. :) That douche has no soul.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I just spat out coffee at Abby's comment. Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteMan, you are so done.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's only the beginning.
But take heart, she'll have many different "fevers" after Beiber's.
That didn't help did it?
Here's another silver lining: At least they are learning to spell. You know. "I before E, except after C..."
ReplyDeleteOne word...convent. Do it, Now. Don't let it go any further.
ReplyDeleteAfter the Queensrÿche post, I think you need an honest-to-god guitar intervention with your daughter. Teach her the majesty of the guitar solo. It's not too late.
ReplyDelete-->It could be worse. She could have written it on her birth control case.
ReplyDeleteAbby said what I was gonna say. Also. Good sign that she likes boys. So she's probably thinking about making out with him. Or more....
ReplyDeleteEeek Bieber Fever!!! How do you cure that? That sounds really gross, isn't that what you get from drinking dirty well water in Canada?
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giardiasis
Gotta watch out for that Canadian stuff.
Have you had THE TALK with her yet? You know the one about Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and teen pop stars.
ReplyDeleteLady: I was the same way as a boy except it was the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and Lita Ford.
ReplyDeleteAbby: Truer words? Never spoken.
Veggie: Justin Bieber is a boy?!
Mrsblogalot: you're killing me.
Linnnn: Where's the 'C' in Bieber? Am I missing something?
Christina: Right. Like the church is any better.
John: That's what I don't understand. Her iPod is all 'judas priest' and 'queensryche' and 'iron maiden' and then BIEBER?!?
WebSavvy: Oh. Listen. I have palpitations.
Thanks for that.
Momma: What is wrong with you women?
PBScott: I thought when you drank dirty water in Canada you got Labatt's.
Laughingmom: Don't rush me. She's only 10.
I think you should just drown her and start over.
ReplyDeleteToo harsh?
I don't know the cut-off age in your state, but you might still be able to drop her off at the firehouse and abandon her. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteI had the same problem. It's too late. Once they write on things...just sayin'. Nicely enough, America has designed pajamas with him on it and my mother bought some for my daughter's birthday...now she has Justin Beiber on her ass.
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse. At least lunchboxes can get lost...
Perhaps the washing machine can eat pajamas...
You better get her a vaccine for that fever, STAT!
ReplyDeleteLove WebSavvyMom's comment! My 8 year old has Bieber Fever too so I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteHey, be happy it doesn't say "I love Rebecca Black".
ReplyDeleteOr Barry Manilow.
A clockwork orange. That's where I get all of my parenting tips.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know your daughter was into girls... :O
ReplyDeletehahaha poor daddy lol
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!! Better you than me. :D Have fun at the concert she is going to drag you to. :D
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse.
ReplyDeleteI love Tiger Blood. Future Goddess Z.
See?
At least it's not Chris Brown or Enimem. For now, anyway.
ReplyDeleteNext thing you know you'll be buying her the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You" and reading with her about proper girl hygiene and her period.
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have two daughters, but I'm a girl, so there's that. I can handle it. I live it.
just wait until you find the sticky water bottle filled with cheap peach-flavored vodka. i thought i had taught my daughter better by only having grey goose in the house.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter recently got bieber fever, I did think an intervention was called for but I'm hoping it's just a phase!
ReplyDeleteawe
ReplyDeleteaccept it baby, there's much more shock headed your way during puberty
you may need some armour over your heart so prepare
signed
mother of two children who survived puberty
hee
that is all
Oh...I thought you found condoms. Never mind...
ReplyDeleteStage an intervention. Usually Bieber is a gateway...
ReplyDelete...a gateway to HELL
And it is forever emblazoned on her Nintendo DS case? You poor dear. But would it have been any better no matter who the boy was? Really??
ReplyDeleteYikes, good luck with THAT. Beiber Fever is almost impossible to cure.
ReplyDeleteGet her some of the pajamas Momma Fargo mentioned. Then she can tell her friends she's sleeping with Justin!
ReplyDeleteGet her some of the pajamas Momma Fargo mentioned. Then she can tell her friends she's sleeping with Justin!
ReplyDeleteNoooooo! Luckily, my daughter hasn't been bitten by the Bieber bug. Don't think I could live with myself. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Moog. If it makes you feel any better my 10 year old niece does the same thing.
ReplyDeleteIf THIS makes you feel better, well it would except it failed. I slipped arsenic into his drink and the only thing that happened was his hair got even gayer.
No shit.
It could be worse.....at least it wasn't on a tattoo!
ReplyDeleteI'd feel like throwing up too! lol! Hopefully her taste in "men" gets better over the years.
ReplyDeleteI just threw up in my mouth a little. And sent it back down...
ReplyDeleteUgh dude, my most sincere condolences. Back in the day it was the Hanson brothers, now this?
Love it and we stole some stuff...sorry lol
ReplyDeleteWhen I was that young I was planning my underage wedding to all three members of the Police.
ReplyDeleteThe joy of being that age is thinking that everyone in the band can live in your gingerbread house with you everything in perfect harmony.
The bacchanalian orgies and golden god moments don't factor in until you are around 14/15.
I have Beaver Fever, but that's a little different.
ReplyDeleteHow are you so calm!? I'd be freaking out! Bieber Fever is DANGEROUS! Don't they have innoculations or dips or a something to cure your precious daughter of this terrible disease. Ugh...that kid is the bane of my existance. Yuck! This disease just keeps spreading and spreading. Some women my age (30) have recently come down with it...I'm wearing a face mask like I like I am afraid of SARS...I refuse to catch it!
ReplyDeleteWow, I can see why you're upset. Your daughter likes chicks. Just kidding!
ReplyDeleteBut....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not kidding.
You have my condolences.
I can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteTo her! Ich bin ein Belieber, too! :)
Where did you go wrong?
ReplyDeleteSo I guess you're going to be one of those parents lining up for tickets to the Justin Bieber movie... IN 3D!
ReplyDeleteYou and me both.
ReplyDeletedude. from the thumbnail, I thought it was gonna be birth control or something. it's lame, but it could be worse. she could like Chris Brown.
ReplyDeleteIf she's playing her DS, listening to Rebecca Black, and you find an empty pregnancy test package in the bathroom trashcan, THEN you should worry.
ReplyDeleteI hear there are places you can send her to pray it away.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a rocker, I'd maybe cry.
ReplyDeleteGive her some time to see the light. All girls around that age are susceptible to this, sadly. My condolences.
I think I just threw up in my mouth. Hopefully she'll come to her senses. After all, I loved Rick Astley back in the day and you can see how far he got!
ReplyDeleteWhere did you go wrong?
ReplyDeleteGah. Bieber. A name that strikes fear... or disgust, rather into the heart of a rock and roll girl born and raised. Gah. Kids these days. Thank god I'm actually an old man disguised as a teenager.
ReplyDeleteWhere did you go wrong, Moooooog?
ReplyDeleteYou are so screwed man. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteCould be worse. I think "I have Dick Cheney fever!" would have been a bit more alarming.
ReplyDeleteJust be grateful she hasn't (yet?) done something like this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.shoutingatco.ws/blog/2011/03/18/angry-mother-is-angry/
PS I'm feeling pretty smug here as my elder daughter (who's 9) DOESN'T like the Biebs - she much prefers my eclectic (some would say crappy) tastes, like Springsteen, Train, Adele, Glee soundtracks (her fave? The Doors' "Hello, I love you"), Lloyd Cole... Oh, of course she also likes Rihanna and Katy Perry, so maybe I shouldn't be so smug after all... (no MILEY either thank God)
At least it wasn't a pos pregnancy test... that be the "my daughter turned 16" post..
ReplyDeletehahahaha. could have been worse I suppose...
ReplyDeleteI hear nausea one of the early signs of Bieber Fever?
ReplyDeleteBe thankful it wasn't a bra, a tampon or a diary about how she has been making out with boys so they'll buy her ice cream.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I was expecting a pic of a bra.
Maybe she was writing it to be ironic. You should talk to her. Because if she actually meant it, it's time to start thinking about sending her to one of those brainwash camps.
ReplyDeleteI just threw up a little in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteOh my god, you poor bastard! If you're holding an intervention let me know... I'll bring some Bad Religion CD's
ReplyDeleteCould be worse, she could like Rebecca Black
ReplyDeleteReally. I concur. At least Bieber is wealthy and has a nice job. LOL.
ReplyDeleteOk, kind of going against the tide here, but I saw the Bieber movie with my pre-teen daughter, and I'm kind of a Belieber now. Even more confessions: pre-teen daughter had no interest in the movie until I dragged her to it, then she went on to see it 3 more times with her buddies.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought. Yikes! What have I done?
I took the boyfriend's daughter to see the Bieber movie.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't as bad as I thought.
(I am so ashamed of myself)
I am a recovering BSB and NSYNC/NKOTB-ER....
Anyway, if he comes around here, I can bite the bullet and take em both.
Funny part: In the movie he performs with Ludacris, and Usher... and They are DECENT performers. So I was all excited about that part.
Kid went home and told her dad and then over to mom's house: "Laura only danced around and got excited when the black guys came out"
FML