If you've ever read the highly popular children's book, "The Giving Tree," then you know what I mean by the above Tweet.
If not, here is the story in a nutshell:
Boy loves tree. Tree loves boy. Boy takes advantage of tree. Tree loves boy so much tree gives in to everything the boy asks for just to make him happy. Tree spends most of the book miserable as boy shows up only when he needs something. Tree ends up as stump. Book fades out as boy is probably going to die from old age which is fine by every reader because the boy is a total asshole.
I should write Cliff Notes.
So for some reason I got the idea to get the tree's side of the story..using tree rings as the age indicator and, well...
ENJOY.
Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
Moog out.
Perspective is everything. That kid really was an asshole. He definitely topped Duck in a Truck.
ReplyDeleteShel would be proud.
ReplyDeleteExcept he's dead too.
I like this version way better.
ReplyDeleteHa! A childhood classic I never read and am now going to, with relish. Consider me educated.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of rabbits, Beatrice Potter wrote some selfish ones. Get on those. Wait, don't literally "get on" a rabbit. You'd split the poor thing in two.
ReplyDeleteOur 2nd grade teacher read us that book. God how I hated that fuckin' kid. I still feel bad for the poor tree.
ReplyDeleteI hope Shel Silverstein is rotting in hell for writing that passive aggressive piece of shit. I can't imagine the untold millions of us who are in counseling now because of it.
LMFAO!!!
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome excellent analysis on half of the population: heroes, martyr and enablers...annoying. wah wah wah.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! I have always hated this book. Thanks for writing this.
ReplyDeleteIt's about time that poor tree was heard! Way to tell his story.
ReplyDeleteGod, I just knew trees had a mind of their own. Poor tree. having to sniff his smelly old ass.
ReplyDeleteGo to Youtube and look up Sassy Gay Friend the Giving Tree and laugh and laugh. They have the same take as you.
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe. It's perfect.
ReplyDeleteOkay, forgive me being all up in your theme, but I feel the same way and blogged about it a while ago: http://www.ninjamomblog.com/2011/01/character-assassination-carousel-giving.html
Please, promise me you'll do this again, with some other gem, and let me included on the Character Assassination Carousel? Pretty please? I'll let you swing in my branches.
You have done complete justice to this book. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteSo it turns out that the guy who wrote this piece of crap is dead anyway which kind of takes the edge off this whole thing.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read this book in YEARS but it's always been one of those books where you just wonder wtf the author was thinking and why in God's name didn't the tree go tell the kid to hang himself from one of his branches?
Oh, mooog.
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh out loud.
Yeah, the first time I read that book: WTF?
Who said OK to that?
And it wasn't even self published!!!
I'm not even going to bother reading this book now. I like your version.
ReplyDeleteOHMYFUCKINGGOD.
ReplyDeleteI'm never letting my (theoretical) kids read this story, now. Yet another childhood book/movie/myth toppled by logic.
Goddamnit.
Never liked that book or the one about the sidewalk. I wasn't a hippie, nor was I raised by any. I lucked out and was raised by conservative, repressed, alcohol loving parents from the 50s. Talk about luck!
ReplyDeleteWhy was this book so dang popular in the first place if its message is wrong????
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, your version is WAY better. LMFAO!!
ReplyDeleteThis is just all kinds of genius! :)
ReplyDeleteI've also heard that that quiet old lady who was whispering, "Hush." from the Goodnight Moon book was a meth dealer.
ReplyDeletethis blog is hilarious but are people really not going to let their kids read this story? You are supposed to believe in giving and love and caring when you're a child, that's what being a kid is all about. It's not till like 7th grade that you realize all your dreams and your life is bull$hit and you should only look out for yourself
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite blog posts ever. EVER! I have always hated this book and the story it purports to tell. Selfish little faulk, and stupid delusional tree.
ReplyDelete