So, when one day I looked at the replies I get to some of my Tweets I was, like, 'Um..what?' because, out of context, they take on a life of their own.
Enjoy some of my 'Out of Context @ Replies.'
**************
No. No hookers.
I don't get paid until next Thursday.
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Yes. Makes perfect sense.
*blink*
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I don't know what this is in reference to, but I've been following this advice ever since.
In related news: Anybody out there hiring?
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Preaching to the choir, my friend.
Preaching to the choir.
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This is the shit I get when I leave my webcam on.
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Pretty sure this is in response to a sexual advance but I can't be certain.
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Coincidentally, this is how most women introduce me to their parents.
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Good to know.
(Not really)
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So does my dog.
Wait. What?
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This makes perfect sense if you yell it at the top of your lungs in the middle of a meeting like a person with ADHD and Tourettes.
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This was in response to a passage I posted from the book "Little Women."
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Dad?
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FYI: I moonlight as a gigolo.
Also: I take PayPal.
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..and that is how I met my soulmate.
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Dear @alotofnothing, I think we're going to get along juuuuuuust fine.
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Bo, you're incorrect here.
Ass rape ALWAYS counts.
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There you have it. I'm sure I'll accumulate more because the majority of people who follow me on Twitter are typically just as twisted as I am if not more so.
Creepy.
We are a special breed.
ReplyDeleteI think I got Lupus reading this.
ReplyDeletePEANUT BUTTER... ack.
most times I'm laughing to hard at your tweets or just blinking my eyes and thinkng wtf... to bother replying or retweeting.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! I made it!!
ReplyDeleteBtw, did you ever find the hole??
Hey I'm on there! Also, I still owe you money for that.
ReplyDeleteNo one responds to my Tweets.
ReplyDeleteProbably because they are too AWESOME in the first place and don't need followup comments.
::walks away jealously green::
What's creepy is knowing there are that many creepy people out there!
ReplyDeletetwitter keeps the nonsequitor alive.
ReplyDeletehilarious.
ReplyDeletei can't figure twitter out,never know who's talking to me.
I tweet a lot too, usually after I eat a big bowl of garbanzo beans. Wait . . . never mind.
ReplyDeletethe "I love it with peanut butter" and your comment underneath is totally cracking me up.
ReplyDeleteThis beats the crap out my panties-induced Google searches.
ReplyDeleteWait - that sounded kind of icky.
I stand firmly behind my tweet that any post (or tweet) that includes poo is the best. Also, I stand behind firm poos. Also also, I don't want to stand behind anyone who is pooing.
ReplyDeleteNo, that response was to your menses! Or maybe a zit-popping tweet that made me gag.
ReplyDeleteEither/or.
(((honored))))
I have absolutely no idea what that was about! I was probably horny, drunk, and almost belligerent when I sent it. Unless it was during the day, in which case I was definitely horny, drunk, and belligerent.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you with a weekend full of hookers and blow and unicorns and whatnot.
I want a sports car with rockets too, so since you get paid tomorrow, let's make that happen...with the hookers and ass rape, theirs, not ours preferably.
ReplyDeleteFunny friends you have.. I'll have to step up my game.
ReplyDeletethat is delicious goodness...
ReplyDeleteNow that I read this, I may have to drop acid, crawl into my stomach and die. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLet's not call it twisted, moooog...let's just not...
ReplyDeletexo