A lot of my friends on Facebook are you, my loyal readers who are also sprinkled in with a few actual friends and maybe one or two people I owe money to who keep hacking my damn account.
I accept PayPal, in case you're interested in donating.
One day I got a message from someone on Facebook.
I have no idea who this person is - I assumed a fan/reader/stalker but the message was..
THIS:
Um.
Okay.
So I responded. And thus began our long history of what-is-going-on-here-because-I-have-no-clue where messages would just appear randomly and, obviously, typed by a monkey:
Seriously, Ricardo, if my penis DID reach back that far I'd be home zeeting right now.I probably would have zooted, like, twice yesterday alone.
Cuz I'm a gwaan bad man. Obviously.
I've known a few Jamaicans (Which I assume he's trying to sound like) and they don't sound half as confusing as that guy.
ReplyDeleteBad man!
What the flex is zeet talkin about bro?
ReplyDeleteI just laughed so hard I think I hurt myself! Tears even!
ReplyDelete"SO 2010" - That made my morning!
ReplyDeleteTrue, it could only go up from wiping out on the ice and nearly breaking my back, but still... it's funny.
Good Lord. I'm still laughing...and trying to translate WTF he was trying to say
ReplyDeletetotally wacky! lol
ReplyDeleteDat zeet, qyaaff too
ReplyDeleteDaddy?
ReplyDeleteMoog, could you give that guy my number?
I'm pretty good at deciphering crazy messages like that, because I have a lot of drunk friends, but that there, I don't even know where to begin. LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure he's trying to tell you he's having your love child.
ReplyDeleteI think.
I am laughing so much I can't even type.....
ReplyDelete"Oh stewardess, I speak jive"
ReplyDeletesubba say I wan' see...
ReplyDeleteOk Rod, put down the stick, quit pokin' the monkey cage.
subba say I wan' see...
ReplyDeleteOk Rod, put down the stick, quit pokin' the monkey cage.
Obviously you need to post a link to his site or he is goint to steal your girl and then "zeet" her not you!
ReplyDeleteIt's so clear.
Also, I still can't spell.
ReplyDeleteBaahaha. Love it. If you lived in Toronto I'm sure you could find a translator. #landOfIslandDialects
ReplyDeleteTell him you can learn him to talk good, like what i do.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I wet my pants laughing.
ReplyDeleteSounds Jamaican but I only know that because they have some fine doobage and they all sound like that afterwards.
Why can't I get a stalker or someone like that? My stalkers do type english and want to move into my basement, which does not make me laugh like yours does.
ReplyDeleteoh, why did it take me this long to find you?
ReplyDeletealso, zeet is a hair remover. for ladies.
Funniest thing I've read this week...
ReplyDelete