I'm being bullied by Apple.

In my cubicle, I have a Mac Powerbook that I use for testing.

Yes, I'm a software quality assurance engineer.

This is exactly why none of your shit works and your computer reboots every 30 seconds.

The Mac has a screen saver that scrolls dictionary words across and then pauses on certain ones. Whenever I happen to look over at it, it's always shit like this:

 

Okay. I suppose that one makes sense.

Next:

I wouldn't say I'm exactly offbeat, but more like, 'peculiar' or 'really muscly and attractive.'

Finally:

It's at this point that I'm thinking the laptop has become self-aware and is actually watching me.

Either that, or my boss programmed it since, you know, I'm typing this at work.