Bob Saget better appreciate this shit.
But I'm giving away some really cool stuff at the bottom of this so bear with me.
*********************
This is an actual email thread I got from an event promoter wanting to use my site for advertising a comedy show.
In their defense, I did do this once on my site for a Kathy Griffin show and gave away some watches or something but NOT ONCE did Kathy call me or offer me hand sex so I've always been kind of hesitant on doing other things.
FINE.
THE GIG I NEED TO PROMOTE:
Bob Saget Live at Seminole Hard Rock Tampa Sunday March 13.
General admission tickets are $40 and are available at the hard rock store and at all Ticketmaster outlets.
Doors of the casino’s event pavilion will open at 7 p.m. and the show will start at 8 p.m. Ticket holders must be 18 years of age or older. For more information visit: http://www.seminolehardrocktampa.com
There.
THE GIVEAWAY:
Simply leave me a comment.
That's it.
I'll pick FOUR WINNERS at random based on their comment number on March 11th.
The first two people picked each win one of these 'Survival Kits' - sadly, without the pee-to-water thingamajiggy but looks like it has a water bottle and some type of flashlight and then a Swiss-Army knife to, you know, kill shit:
The next two people each win a Hard Rock Cafe water bottle:
I'll announce the winners on March 13th.
GOOD LUCK!!
And, hey..Bob Saget..have your people call my people.
Since I am up this @%#$#$ early, I should get one automatically. Yes I should.
ReplyDeleteThink Bob can get me with Uncle Jesse? 'Cause, dayummmm...
The irony that I was supposed to spend the first half of March in Tampa, and visiting the Hard Rock there for the first time.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe you didn't go for the beef jerky & reverse hydrolisis machine.
What a rip-off - two water bottle looking thingies and no pee-converters to go with them. WTF?
ReplyDeleteThe pee to water thing would be very cool. However, as it is unavailable, I will enter for one of those other phallic looking things that holds water which converts to pee. Wait, is this one of those reverse psychology things??!! Is it a test?? Did I pass?? Why are you so intent on confusing me? Hot Rod?? Are you there?
ReplyDeleteI missed something here, but I'll figure it out later.
ReplyDeleteIf it was a Top Gear Live show, I'd be there in a nano second. Even though I love Bob Saget, I'm not traveling all the way to Tampa to see him.
Really, the least Griffin could have done was sent you a pair of her panties or something. Geesh, Hollywood.
Ben sounds like a cool dude.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Bob Saget live in a tent is way better than seeing Bob Saget not alive in a tent, so awesome show I'm betting.
PS, I always hated Full House.
Sorry Bob and fans
My prize was the roar of laughter that came from reading 'the 'drain plug' to my colostomy bag'
ReplyDeleteMore priceless than pee-water.
YOU are the best give-away out there!
Who's Bob Saget?
Lucky you.
ReplyDeleteAll I ever get offered to promote is Carrot Top.
Fucking freak!
and speaking of kerotene ... i like bob saget too but when did he turn john boehner orange?
ReplyDeletei mean carotene. doh. if i win, you'll change that for me, right?
ReplyDeletei really spelled it wrong so i could create 3 comments which increases my odds in a random number selection. smarter than i look.
ReplyDeleteI totally need a survival kit!
ReplyDeleteI read someplace that Bob Saget swears a lot.
ReplyDeleteI really want that survival kit. So much that I would be willing to give you a hand job for it, I will even use some lotion, you pick the fragrance.
ReplyDeleteAnd you, sir, are the olive to my loaf.
ReplyDeleteI have loved Bob Saget since seeing him in The Aristocrats. Then again, I pretty much love anyone who makes fisting jokes about their nieces.
Bob Saget gives me the creeps.
ReplyDeleteDamn it..... i got all interested in the pee thingy for nothing!
ReplyDeleteRemember when Bob Saget was rocking not only Full House, but America's Funniest Home Videos? Apparently he not only hosted that show, but did the voiceover work, and produced it.
ReplyDeleteHow what does he do? Tours around the country, swearing. Commentating on yokels getting kicked in the nuts by donkeys is fun and all, but I'm pretty sure he's got it made now.
I don't need a hydrolysis machine to drink my own pee. My kidneys are jewels sought after by pygmy huns.
ReplyDeleteHaha I could use a survival kit right about now :)
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure Bob Saget would approve of my liberal use of the word twat.
ReplyDeleteAnd that guy. The "Hot" to your "Rod"? I like him.
Also do you really have posts scheduled until June or am I being gullible. Because, oh my god. I have nothing scheduled past yesterday. Way to give me a complex.
ReplyDeleteyour posts are scheduled until June?? wow
ReplyDeletehmmmm
I got nothin
you scare me with that...
come over here and post for me and I will let you take an up the skirt shot
heee
that is all
Ima leavin' a comment. There you go.
ReplyDeleteIf you have pee-water in your colostomy bag you probably have a leaky head gasket. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeletePick me!! Im the one who left u an awesome compliment via email! :-)
ReplyDeleteBob Saget and Comedy Club is like an oxymoron. He is not funny. You would be a better headliner than him. You are actually funny. He’s not.
ReplyDeleteGODDAMMIT!
ReplyDeleteNo pee-to-water contraption? I read the whole Bob Saget advertisement and my pee will still just be pee???
If you want more entries for your giveaway.....
ReplyDelete"You're going to need a bigger boat"
hahahaha. Oh shut up. It makes sense to me. btw, I already have one of those hydrolis things but I could use a hard rock pee water container.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for beef jerky infused water. Surely I could survive on that for 2 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI was really hoping for some beef jerky. But I'll comment anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to figure out what Bon Saget has to do with surviving or water bottles. Maybe we need the survival kit when going to see him? Is his comedy that bad that it might bring the end of the world?
ReplyDeleteThat survival kit looks like it was meant to help you survive an angry barista at starbucks. I wouldn't take that into anything called "the woods" including James.
ReplyDeleteI hope I win it!
Ok, I'm commenting on your post because you're so bad at math. First, I love your emails with that guy and the fact that he put up with your shit is awesome. Second, I hate Bob Saget and have no desire to see him. As a matter of fact, I'd rather stick paper clips in my eyesn even after you straighten them out like you do to pick a lock.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, I digress...I have nothing to say except ihope I lose but now you have 37 comments so STFU!
That "survival kid" is the scariest vibrator I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to ask those guys if "the great Bob Saget" is any relation to the "pathetically un-funny and now sort of sad Bob Saget" that used to be on Full House.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Even though this is a negative-in-tone comment, does it still qualify for the drawing? I could use a survival kit, especially if Saget has a band of really tough friends.
Which I sort of doubt.
Um.. if they think that "kit" is enough for me to "survive," well, they clearly have never spent time in a sewer.
ReplyDeleteGood to know Ben shares your sense of humor or that could have been awkward. Very nice email relationship you've set up there and even better that 4 of us will be winners!
ReplyDeleteI've always had trouble surviving.
ReplyDeleteSo will you be selling your soul to random other has-been comedians, or is this just a low momemt for the Moog?
ReplyDeleteThat guy is awesome. Coming back with "you are the hot to my rod".
ReplyDeleteHe GETS you! **bromance**
I am with Toe about do we need surival kit to survive his comedy? I am still remembering the sad comedy on funniest videos...lol
ReplyDeleteI could use some help surviving!
ReplyDeleteHey Mooog, one of those survival kits has my name on it, so you may as well just give it to me - why would anyone else want one that has my name on it?
ReplyDeleteHey, Ben said he's going to look into the up skirt photos. Never said he would share the results.
ReplyDeletethis is more complicated than it looks ... i have to "choose an identity" to leave this comment ... so many to choose from, way more than Sybil ever had
ReplyDeleteI love that casino
ReplyDeleteI so need help surviving at my age!
ReplyDeleteI saw Bob Saget live- surprisingly good. Who can resist dirty olsen jokes ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't have anything funny to say. BUT I <3 Bob Saget (and you).
ReplyDeleteI just think you're a rockstar for getting this kind of opportunity!
ReplyDeleteBut no, I don't want a water bottle.
holy crap batman its a give away
ReplyDeletei could do with the survival kit right now... i'm in my hotel in Hong Kong and the only think on TV worth watching in Armageddon and its been dubed in German...
i need the knife to slit my wrists
You can go ahead and send me a prize. My husband is a plumber for the military and does water purification as part of his job. I'm sure he can teach you how to make drinkable water from your pee without a fancy machine :) Too bad i won't be visiting Florida until June, I haven't been to a comedy show in years!
ReplyDeleteI know this is supposed to be random, but I live in Tampa, and was already planning to think about seeing this show. I have problems with decision making.
ReplyDeleteJust posting 'cause I like to win free shit. I also like Bob Saget - go to his show. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteMy reading comprehension skills are terrible, but if I've got this right, you're giving away Bob Saget and a colostomy bag.
ReplyDeleteI'm so in.
When the fuck did Bob Saget start swearing?! Was it when the Olsen twins got old enough to hear curse words?
ReplyDeleteHard Rock survival kit? Shouldn't that have asprin in it for the morning after????
ReplyDeleteOMG, do you really have posts lined up until June? Because until last night, I had nothing...until the cashier at Wal-Mart told me about "weird stuff coming out of her coochie."
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know you'll be waiting with anticipation for that post to come out.
Also, I love how you totally corrupted this guy. He started out all professional-like in the e-mails, then progressed to perversion and tomfoolery, just like you! Momma likey!
I think you need to add to the list of giveaways: a signed picture of you and Kristen, and maybe that piece of celery - you know the one I'm talking about!
I also like Bob Saget because he swears now. Reruns of Full House just aren't the same, though.
ReplyDeleteIf this were a true survival kit, the bottle would be filled with valium enhanced vodka, and the pockets would have condoms and lube. I'm just sayin'. ~C. Lawson
ReplyDeleteThe only offers I get are from outcast kings in Africa, I'd like to help but I can't pronounce their names... I'd do Kathy Griffin if she called... maybe. And I'll totally pimp out your blog if you draw me 2 pictures and guest post 1 time... we can trade for some upskirt pics but I'll have to wash the thongs first... the dogs kinda drag them through the yard... fuckers. Rock on 'Hot' Rod
ReplyDeleteI'm just impressed you have blog posts scheduled all the way through June!
ReplyDeleteHa ha.. amazed you haven't been arrested yet... or have you.
ReplyDeleteDon't wanna see Bob Saget, don't ask. but the other crap is cool.
x
How many times can I comment?
ReplyDeleteAre there "rules" to this thing?
And if so, how can I "bend" the "rules" so I win?
Do I seriously have to post a comment here? Isn't it enough that I've started promoting your blog on my Facebook page for all my 116 friends? (I don't know 2 of those people...so if you get stalked, totally not my fault.)
ReplyDeleteI'm only doing this for the Swiss Army knife you know. I've been wanting one for quite some time...but my family doesn't trust me with sharp objects. Sure hope I win.
Over and out.
Posting a comment, Bob Saget is soooooo funny. He makes me LOL and LMAO
ReplyDeleteLove my Baby
Is it a pocket knife worthy of pulling an Aron Ralston??
ReplyDeleteSince I haven't been here in the past 10 months or so, here is my gratuitous comment......
ReplyDeleteYou have posts scheduled through June? Friggin' JUNE? Damn, dude. Look at you, all organized and shit. I want that water bottle. I want it bad.
ReplyDeleteAwesomesauce. I would much rather see Bob Saget live, (he does cuss alot) but seeing that I live in a hole known as Toledo that probably won't happen anytime soon so I could settle for a survival kit or a fancy shmancy water bottle.
ReplyDeleteBest Bob Saget quote ever from Half Baked: "Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
Next time, you need to ask for an agent and a gig in return, because seriously--you should so be doing stand up. :)
ReplyDeleteThe only information that registered in my brain the first two times I attempted to read this post were "blah blah blah win a prize".
ReplyDeleteToday, I actually gave in and paid attention because the lure of winning a prize was just too great for me to ignore.
Then I got to the Bob Saget in Florida part and you started to lose me, but like any decent writer you saved the goodies for last........the elusive prize!
Yeah, those prizes are the suck. Don't pick me.
I don't want the prize, I just wanted to step in some Mental Poo today. Gonna go scrape off my Mental Shoe now. Love the blog, very funny.
ReplyDeleteI totally used your idea and titled my Patch article running tomorrow, 'He's the L to my LOL'.
ReplyDeleteTelling you that = not plaigiarizing.
Can you let the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino know that if I should win, I will need airfare and 1 nights accomodation? My airport code is YYC and if first class is all that's available, I'm ok with that. I'll also need some chips. Potato and poker.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at Survival Kit......
ReplyDeleteAnd the aftershocks of your humor just keep coming...
ReplyDeleteBob Saget? You mean he isn't dead?
ReplyDeleteRod-Nee, I need the survival kit really bad, got to visit some of my peeps in your old home town this weekend and I can’t find my knife!
ReplyDeleteWOW…. I didn’t think I had a chance, thanks for dropping of the survival kit. I guess it’s 5 O’clock somewhere!
ReplyDelete