Sometimes I like my job.
And by 'sometimes' I mean 'never ever ever never.'
Except this one time.
I opened my work's Instant Message program to talk to one of the developers.
Because my day isn't complete without homosexually cyber-sexing a 400 pound man in a Jurassic Park t-shirt.
Don't judge. These people need lovin', too.
FREAKS.
The last time I used Instant Messenger to talk to a developer here, it didn't work out so well and involved a spontaneous discussion about cock rings.
Go figure.
Regardless, this guy's name is Chris.
Anyway, here's how it went:
Fuck.
Yes.
I called him Christ.
So I laugh at myself for catching my mistake:
Then..Chris' response:
"Yes, my son."
Awesome.
Then I went off to Google "omnipotent" because, honestly, sometimes I just throw things out there and hope they stick.
Yes that's a penis reference.
Christ knows what I'm talkin' about.
Jurassic Park shirts are HOT.
Ah, good ol' Microsoft Communicator. We use it at my office too. It's a shame all of the cybersexing, subtle flirting and outright harassment has to be disguised with spaces and symbols to avoid tripping the profanity sensor. It really hampers my social life.
ReplyDeleteYou marked out his last name on the messenger window but then left it showing in the actual message. Didn't know if you noticed that. If you were trying to protect his full identity, that's out the window.
ReplyDeleteomg, that was awesome. I wish the people I work with would catch on to my puns.
ReplyDeleteOn the Fcuk Typos shirt, that woman has man boobs. That's all I have for today.
ReplyDeleteThat's stupendous!
ReplyDeleteThis needs a Urban Dictionary entry. Nothing under "Impotent" does this conversation justice.
there is no absolution for ass fisting. i'm surprised christ didn't tell you that.
ReplyDeleteI never know what I will find here, but I know it will make me laugh. I'm just glad I live in the next state, 'cause I don't want to be too close when the lightning strikes!
ReplyDeleteThis made my day. Thank you sir Moooooog
ReplyDeleteI always figured Jesus would be into tech development. It's the new carpentry.
ReplyDeleteBy the way that man modeling the tight typos shirt has some scary tits and muffin top. Those estrogen hormones he's injecting aren't working right.
"Yes my son"
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome!
That was hilarious! lol
ReplyDeleteThat's as good as signing an e-mail with
ReplyDeleteRetards,
Stacy
I heart Mental Poo, good reads for a Friday at work.
That's pretty cool, Moooooog. Not as cool as, say, text messaging Buddha, but it's up there.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a good Christ joke and sexual references to get the weekend started.
ReplyDeleteThank God Christ has a good sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteTypos are the way our computers will end up taking over the world. It's all a grand conspiracy you know.
ReplyDeletedear god that is awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou made me bust out laughing... and that is quite a feat after the week I've had. Thanks! Also, I'm thinking that you should create some hybrid t-shirt involving the Jurassic Park T-Rex as Christ - or something like that.
ReplyDeleteHa!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I like to drop the occasional stochastic word-bomb out there, too. I find it extremely salubrious.
PLease stop using my name in vain
ReplyDeleteAhahahah! Ahahahahhaahha!! This was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteIm glad you ended up with developer that had such a good sense of humor.
"Yes my son!"
Now I have to google the word "omnipotent"
Very clever children. Did you know impersonating a Diety is a type 'S' felony? 'S' is for screwed BTW. Your sentence in eternity will be spent in a two-man douche canoe on the lake of fire. Your cellmate, uh, canoemate will be Perez Hilton. You have to sit in front.
ReplyDeleteDo you sell that shirt in your store? If you did, you may just make a tad more than $3.
ReplyDelete