Yeah, I sell things.
You should buy them.
It will give me money and you'll be sexy like the guy in the Axe Deodorant commercials and women will flock to you (for you guys/lesbians out there) or - for you ladies/gay men - you will be sexy and/or confident in your appearance no matter how hideous you are and you will find everlasting love (or get laid for those girls who are just sluts reading this..also, call me).
That's my sales pitch.
Here are some of the stuff you can buy from my TWO stores:
The Second Store!
My second store is dedicated to all things Mental Poo-Looza!
If you need to know what 'Mental Poo-Looza' is, click here
'..that would be a great name for a rock band..'