Try it at Home, Kids: What's a Motto With You? | Mental Poo

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Try it at Home, Kids: What's a Motto With You?

It's another episode of Moooooog's "Try it at Home" series!

It's like a home improvement show.

You know.

Except without the home.

And improvements.

So, nothing like that at all.

I have no other analogy.

Thesauruses are fucking useless.

Once again I give you another annoying thing that I do on a regular basis.

On a related note:

My friends call my wife "Saint Jen."

Today's thing:

What's a Motto?

Admittedly, probably my most annoying habit.

You know that old joke?

Man #1: "What's that?"

Man #2: "It's a motto."

Man #1: "What's a motto?"

Man #2: "I don't know...what's a motto with you?"

HA HA!!

That shit kills in Vegas.

This is why I don't go.

Plus the heat.

I get swamp ass pretty easily.

I've digressed.


Regardless...I take that same joke...

...but apply it to pretty much everything else I'm asked.

Daughter (reading a sign from the back of the car): "Daddy, what's a rebate?"

Me: "I don't know...what's a rebate with you?"

OH! OH MAN!

ZING!!


Or this:

Me: "..so if our house doesn't assess high enough, we'll have to pay PMI."

* pause

Wife: "What's PMI?"

Me: "I don't know, what's PMI with you?"

HA!

I sold it! You bought it! No refunds!

See?

No need for Vegas.

Well...except maybe for the cathouses.

They don't care how annoying you are as long as you can pay.

I have a Gold Card.

22 comments:

Mike said...

The midget man of steel with swamp ass? No wonder you like French Canadian strippers.

That's like a tip to them.

Maxie said...

I love swamp ass. It's definitely my favorite part about summer.

justjp said...

Swamp ass and the dreaded swamp balls can plague us all.

DouglasDyer said...

Man, I've got enough of my own problems. No way am I making myself more annoying on purpose. KIDDING! Of course I will. My joke that never gets old to me is when my wife asks what I ate for lunch I always say "The Number 2". Am I talking about a value menu or poo? See? Hilarious!!!

Christina_the_wench said...

Quit taking pictures of my ass. Damn....

Blonde Goddess said...

Some people call it swamp ass but I prefer the term "crack juice". It just paints a different picture for me...

moooooog35 said...

Mike: I get swamp ass as regularly as Oprah gets hunger pains.

I go through a TON of underwear.

Maxie: Hot..yet...eerily disturbing.

Be mine!

Justjp: "Dreaded Swamp Balls" sounds like an appetizer at Chili's.

Doug: My guess is that our wives are calling each other right now discussing the creation of a support group.

Christina: Well..stop posting them on 'ratemypoo.com' and I won't have to.

BG: It DOES paint a different picture, you're right.

Shit like that is why I don't go to art museums.

LBluca77 said...

Swamp ass is sexy!

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Is this trait why your family refers to you as Fibromyalgia?

If I had more than just a caretaker living with me, I would steal this bit.

Kellie said...

I always use the line "you are". Like when someone tells me they are bored I come back w/ "you are" or if someone tells me I'm dumb, nope "you are". Kind of like yo mama but not quite. I know. I'm quick witted.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

Know what’s awesome in the summer? Swamp ass and leather seats….. sweet…lol!

PhilipDyer said...

You can also reply to any word that ends with an "er" sound by repeating the word and then saying "But I hardly know her!" Works best with the words poker and liquor.

Becky..AMHW said...

My Vegas swamp ass is charming, thank you very much.

Bon Don said...

Swamp ass, crack juice... this is why your blog kicks all the other blogs in the moose knuckles! u rock Mr. Moooooog

The Peach Tart said...

us ladies get swamp tits

moooooog35 said...

Lbluca: Then step right up and call me Fabio!

Going60: Fibro...fibromylo...

Dude, if I have to Google it, it ain't worth it.

Kellie: you are?

Bird Shit: (wow..weird) - yeah..that sounds really hot. And when I say 'hot' I mean 'gross, woman...gross.'

Phil: Imagine what Ted Kennedy's house would sound like if they all did that.

Becky: Vegas swamp ass? Does that mean you put all your money on brown?

Bon: My intention was not to kick anyone in their moose knuckles.

My apologies if your moose knuckle is fucking killing you.

Peach Tart: You sound hot.

meleah rebeccah said...

"My friends call my wife "Saint Jen."

I can see WHY!

Un[Censored] said...

Swamp Ass. Reminds me of that Man Show Skit....I'll post it on my site for you, this could help with that whole crack juice problem.

http://weekfullofmondays.blogspot.com

Narm said...

Reminds me of last weekend -

Me - I have the herp.

Her - What's the herp?

Me - Nothing - what's the herp with you!

Oh how we laughed.

Malach the Merciless said...

So when does Rod & Jen plus 2 make it TLC Debut?

moooooog35 said...

Meleah: Really? Cuz I don't get it.

UnCensored: You know...I want to be done with the whole 'crack juice' thing.

Makes me thirsty.

Narm: It's memories like that that make life worth living.

That, and porn.

Malach: As soon as that bitch moves the fuck out. Poor Jon. Poor Jon.

AD said...

Lol, you never fail to make me laugh.

:]

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