Every Father's Worst Nightmare | Mental Poo

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Every Father's Worst Nightmare

I almost feel a sickness in my gut just thinking about it.

I get nauseous just picturing what I found in my 10 year-old daughter's overnight bag.

You know, sometimes the harsh reality of being the father of a little girl really knocks you down and takes the wind right out of you.

Next to my daughter's overnight bag, I found..

THIS:

bieber fever
That's my daughter's Nintendo DS case.

Apparently she has "Bieber Fever."

I feel like throwing up.

72 comments:

Lady Estrogen said...

Oh crap! I'd want to vomit too.

I guess it's no different from 20yrs ago and every girl (except me, seriously, I listened to G'n'R) was writing "I <3 NKOTB" on their arms with permanent marker. OH JOEY, AHHHHHHH!

Abby said...

Bright side--at least you didn't find it in your son's bag.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Oh come on you pussy! At least she likes a cheesy dude with lesbian hair, it could be worse. I mean she could have Jared Leto fever or something grotesque like that. :) That douche has no soul.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Also? I just spat out coffee at Abby's comment. Hahaha!

Mrsblogalot said...

Man, you are so done.

And it's only the beginning.

But take heart, she'll have many different "fevers" after Beiber's.





That didn't help did it?

Linnnn said...

Here's another silver lining: At least they are learning to spell. You know. "I before E, except after C..."

Christina_the_wench said...

One word...convent. Do it, Now. Don't let it go any further.

John said...

After the Queensr├┐che post, I think you need an honest-to-god guitar intervention with your daughter. Teach her the majesty of the guitar solo. It's not too late.

WebSavvyMom said...

-->It could be worse. She could have written it on her birth control case.

MommaKiss said...

Abby said what I was gonna say. Also. Good sign that she likes boys. So she's probably thinking about making out with him. Or more....

PBScott said...

Eeek Bieber Fever!!! How do you cure that? That sounds really gross, isn't that what you get from drinking dirty well water in Canada?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giardiasis

Gotta watch out for that Canadian stuff.

laughingmom said...

Have you had THE TALK with her yet? You know the one about Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and teen pop stars.

Moooooog35 said...

Lady: I was the same way as a boy except it was the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and Lita Ford.

Abby: Truer words? Never spoken.

Veggie: Justin Bieber is a boy?!

Mrsblogalot: you're killing me.

Linnnn: Where's the 'C' in Bieber? Am I missing something?

Christina: Right. Like the church is any better.

John: That's what I don't understand. Her iPod is all 'judas priest' and 'queensryche' and 'iron maiden' and then BIEBER?!?

WebSavvy: Oh. Listen. I have palpitations.

Thanks for that.

Momma: What is wrong with you women?

PBScott: I thought when you drank dirty water in Canada you got Labatt's.

Laughingmom: Don't rush me. She's only 10.

Knight said...

I think you should just drown her and start over.
Too harsh?

Jon Konrath said...

I don't know the cut-off age in your state, but you might still be able to drop her off at the firehouse and abandon her. Just a thought.

Momma Fargo said...

I had the same problem. It's too late. Once they write on things...just sayin'. Nicely enough, America has designed pajamas with him on it and my mother bought some for my daughter's birthday...now she has Justin Beiber on her ass.

It could be worse. At least lunchboxes can get lost...

Perhaps the washing machine can eat pajamas...

Brooke Amanda said...

You better get her a vaccine for that fever, STAT!

cakeologist said...

Love WebSavvyMom's comment! My 8 year old has Bieber Fever too so I feel your pain!

ryoko861 said...

Hey, be happy it doesn't say "I love Rebecca Black".

Or Barry Manilow.

Misfits Vintage said...

A clockwork orange. That's where I get all of my parenting tips.

justine love said...

I didn't know your daughter was into girls... :O

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

hahaha poor daddy lol

Mom, Wife, Nina said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!! Better you than me. :D Have fun at the concert she is going to drag you to. :D

Quirkyloon said...

It could be worse.

I love Tiger Blood. Future Goddess Z.

See?

SarcasmInAction said...

At least it's not Chris Brown or Enimem. For now, anyway.
Next thing you know you'll be buying her the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You" and reading with her about proper girl hygiene and her period.
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have two daughters, but I'm a girl, so there's that. I can handle it. I live it.

pattypunker said...

just wait until you find the sticky water bottle filled with cheap peach-flavored vodka. i thought i had taught my daughter better by only having grey goose in the house.

Emma_ps said...

My daughter recently got bieber fever, I did think an intervention was called for but I'm hoping it's just a phase!

PBJdreamer said...

awe

accept it baby, there's much more shock headed your way during puberty

you may need some armour over your heart so prepare

signed

mother of two children who survived puberty

hee

that is all

Olly said...

Oh...I thought you found condoms. Never mind...

Brutalism said...

Stage an intervention. Usually Bieber is a gateway...

...a gateway to HELL

Krissy said...

And it is forever emblazoned on her Nintendo DS case? You poor dear. But would it have been any better no matter who the boy was? Really??

meleah rebeccah said...

Yikes, good luck with THAT. Beiber Fever is almost impossible to cure.

Eva Gallant said...

Get her some of the pajamas Momma Fargo mentioned. Then she can tell her friends she's sleeping with Justin!

Eva Gallant said...

Get her some of the pajamas Momma Fargo mentioned. Then she can tell her friends she's sleeping with Justin!

JaneneMurphy said...

Noooooo! Luckily, my daughter hasn't been bitten by the Bieber bug. Don't think I could live with myself. I feel your pain.

Jay Ferris said...

Nooooooo! Time to ship her ass off to the nunnery.

Mike said...

I'm sorry Moog. If it makes you feel any better my 10 year old niece does the same thing.

If THIS makes you feel better, well it would except it failed. I slipped arsenic into his drink and the only thing that happened was his hair got even gayer.

No shit.

Pat said...

It could be worse.....at least it wasn't on a tattoo!

J.J. in L.A. said...

I'd feel like throwing up too! lol! Hopefully her taste in "men" gets better over the years.

PorkStar said...

I just threw up in my mouth a little. And sent it back down...

Ugh dude, my most sincere condolences. Back in the day it was the Hanson brothers, now this?

sexnfries said...

Love it and we stole some stuff...sorry lol

dufmanno said...

When I was that young I was planning my underage wedding to all three members of the Police.
The joy of being that age is thinking that everyone in the band can live in your gingerbread house with you everything in perfect harmony.
The bacchanalian orgies and golden god moments don't factor in until you are around 14/15.

Ed said...

I have Beaver Fever, but that's a little different.

Jewels said...

How are you so calm!? I'd be freaking out! Bieber Fever is DANGEROUS! Don't they have innoculations or dips or a something to cure your precious daughter of this terrible disease. Ugh...that kid is the bane of my existance. Yuck! This disease just keeps spreading and spreading. Some women my age (30) have recently come down with it...I'm wearing a face mask like I like I am afraid of SARS...I refuse to catch it!

Al Penwasser said...

Wow, I can see why you're upset. Your daughter likes chicks. Just kidding!
But....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not kidding.
You have my condolences.

The Offended Blogger said...

I can totally relate.

To her! Ich bin ein Belieber, too! :)

Stacey said...

Where did you go wrong?

Vinny C said...

So I guess you're going to be one of those parents lining up for tickets to the Justin Bieber movie... IN 3D!

Dazee Dreamer said...

You and me both.

andygirl said...

dude. from the thumbnail, I thought it was gonna be birth control or something. it's lame, but it could be worse. she could like Chris Brown.

.end transmission. said...

If she's playing her DS, listening to Rebecca Black, and you find an empty pregnancy test package in the bathroom trashcan, THEN you should worry.

Edie B. Kuhl said...

I hear there are places you can send her to pray it away.

LilPixi said...

I'm such a rocker, I'd maybe cry.
Give her some time to see the light. All girls around that age are susceptible to this, sadly. My condolences.

Scribe said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth. Hopefully she'll come to her senses. After all, I loved Rick Astley back in the day and you can see how far he got!

Helle Kristine Tumbridge said...

Where did you go wrong?

Shani said...

Gah. Bieber. A name that strikes fear... or disgust, rather into the heart of a rock and roll girl born and raised. Gah. Kids these days. Thank god I'm actually an old man disguised as a teenager.

Boom Boom Larew said...

Where did you go wrong, Moooooog?

Cake Betch said...

You are so screwed man. I'm sorry.

Brilliant Sulk said...

Could be worse. I think "I have Dick Cheney fever!" would have been a bit more alarming.

Magic27 said...

Just be grateful she hasn't (yet?) done something like this:
http://www.shoutingatco.ws/blog/2011/03/18/angry-mother-is-angry/
PS I'm feeling pretty smug here as my elder daughter (who's 9) DOESN'T like the Biebs - she much prefers my eclectic (some would say crappy) tastes, like Springsteen, Train, Adele, Glee soundtracks (her fave? The Doors' "Hello, I love you"), Lloyd Cole... Oh, of course she also likes Rihanna and Katy Perry, so maybe I shouldn't be so smug after all... (no MILEY either thank God)

Vodka Logic said...

At least it wasn't a pos pregnancy test... that be the "my daughter turned 16" post..

Stacie's Madness said...

hahahaha. could have been worse I suppose...

SisterMerryHellish said...

I hear nausea one of the early signs of Bieber Fever?

Miley said...

Be thankful it wasn't a bra, a tampon or a diary about how she has been making out with boys so they'll buy her ice cream.

Seriously, I was expecting a pic of a bra.

Kev D. said...

Maybe she was writing it to be ironic. You should talk to her. Because if she actually meant it, it's time to start thinking about sending her to one of those brainwash camps.

Rhetoric Camel said...

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Tim said...

Oh my god, you poor bastard! If you're holding an intervention let me know... I'll bring some Bad Religion CD's

Malach the Merciless said...

Could be worse, she could like Rebecca Black

The Absence of Alternatives said...

Really. I concur. At least Bieber is wealthy and has a nice job. LOL.

Queen Mahin said...

Ok, kind of going against the tide here, but I saw the Bieber movie with my pre-teen daughter, and I'm kind of a Belieber now. Even more confessions: pre-teen daughter had no interest in the movie until I dragged her to it, then she went on to see it 3 more times with her buddies.
On second thought. Yikes! What have I done?

Hollie said...

She's ten? That's about right for Justin Bieber. I mean, did you expect her to be all excited about Keith Richards or somebody? He's probably a fruitbooty, but it could be worse. I mean, she could be wearing stuff that's age-inappropriate. When they did "Legally Blonde" on Broadway? They were selling little girls' panties, I mean in the theater lobby, that were pink, and just said "OMG!" on the back. That would bother me more than writing Justin Bieber's stupid name down. Just wait till she hits puberty, and goes criminally insane. You'll forget this ever happened,.

Laura said...

I took the boyfriend's daughter to see the Bieber movie.
It wasn't as bad as I thought.
(I am so ashamed of myself)
I am a recovering BSB and NSYNC/NKOTB-ER....
Anyway, if he comes around here, I can bite the bullet and take em both.

Funny part: In the movie he performs with Ludacris, and Usher... and They are DECENT performers. So I was all excited about that part.
Kid went home and told her dad and then over to mom's house: "Laura only danced around and got excited when the black guys came out"

FML

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