A Confession to Make | Mental Poo

Monday, May 02, 2011

A Confession to Make

I'm Catholic and when I say "I'm Catholic" it means "I've been told I'm Catholic but you won't see me step foot in a church unless you're getting married or you've died but now that I'm thinking about it you won't see me if you're actually dead - but then again I'm no doctor."

But it also means that my kids take Catholicsm classes.

Part of this, for my son recently, was doing his first Confession.

He's SEVEN.

SEVEN.


We couldn't think of anything for him to confess because he's awesome so the night before, well, we started thinking of things he could say.

Enjoy.


Please note that after the twelfth try of my son trying to pronounce 'stagecoach,' we just had him say 'train.'

Awesome.

During the ceremony they were all, like, "The parents can come up and do confession as well," but I seriously didn't have four days to spare sitting there and I wasn't sure if they'd actually allow pizza delivery.

The fact that we made it into the church without getting hit by lightning is an actual miracle in and of itself.

Excuse me, now.

I have a stageghost to rob at gunpoint.

31 comments:

Jewels said...

This was absolutely adorable! thanks so much for the laughs this Monday morning! haha. Love the toothless delivery of "stageghost"!

Abby said...

I'm in the same boat as you in terms of the Catholic guilt that I feel guilty about not feeling. If I fall out of that boat into holy water, I'm pretty sure I'll burst into flames.

I remember cathecism (sp?) classes and confessing that I didn't like confession. It didn't go over well. Add it to the list...

IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

so funny,love his giggle

Mrsblogalot said...

That was the cutest thing EVER!!!!!

jack mehoff said...

im sorry i couldnt get past the patriots garb - at least youre in that part of the country - i guess.

Christina_the_wench said...

Only four days? Quite the conservative estimate for one such as you, don't cha think? (snorts)

I'd pay for a video of that confession though, as would most of your stalkers I'm sure. See? I am a helper. And I want a cut too. Goes without saying, really.

Sandra said...

And there lies the undeniable proof that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
BTW, you do know you can drop out of being catholic? All the really cool catholics are doing it.

Handflapper said...

Nice. Pretty sure you've cemented your place in hell now. The Pope has been notified.

The kid--well, a few million years in Purgatory ought to be good enough for him.

Joshua said...

Wait...was...was that a jerk off motion right before the end there?

And now the office is staring at me. Which isn't anything new, but this time it's because I'm laughing.

Miss Yvonne said...

I hope he wore that hat to confession.

So. Cal. Gal said...

I like the 'pushing the old lady' one. And I hated confession! Mine were always so lame but, as an adult? Let's just say it's a good thing I don't go to church anymore.

Eva Gallant said...

Oh, dear. The boy is obviously going to follow in his father's footsteps! Hilariously adorable.

badlarry said...

Never personally went to confession myself, but my cousin told me a good one he did when he was around nine.

After an uneventful confession the priest asked him once last time if he had anything to confess, and my cousin finally said, "Yeah, that bad smell was me, I farted."

He said the priest tried his level best to give absolution without laughing but couldn't.

meleah rebeccah said...

awww....that was so adorable, and I love his giggle.

meleah rebeccah said...

"I'm staying stage-ghost, like an accent!" Ahahhahahahhahhahaha

Rahul said...

He could confess to not liking to make confession videos.

I think that's meta.

Pat said...

First off, your son is adorable. He obviously takes after his mother. hee hee

Secondly, you are lucky he didn't slip and accidentally say one of these "sins" to the priest. Boy would YOU have a lot of 'splaining to do!

Dazee Dreamer said...

too freaking funny and I love how your kids go along with your little video's. Ok, they aren't little, their huge.

Vicky said...

That was awesome, I can see a great future for that kid.

Scribe said...

It's funny you should mention the lightning... it's a standing joke in my family as I remain an apparent "heathen" while my brother and significant other are both Catholic. I can't escape and I think I'm going to be struck by lightning any day now. I'm headed on Sunday to my niece's communion. Wish me luck.

Dr. Cynicism said...

What you should have videoed was a priest reaction if he had gone through with it!

Ed said...

At 7, the priest should have been confessing to him.

Those dirty bastards.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

lol. Love it.

Knight said...

First of all...You're hot.

Secondly, I remember being Catholic and trying to make up something for my first confession. Never anything as good as robbing a stageghost but perhaps I'll try that next time I decide to be Catholic.

The Empress said...

Four days?

You'd be chained to the chair.

Stop kidding yourself.

Moooooog35 said...

First off, Knight: OMG WILL YOU CALL ME WTF.

Secondly, I've been really really lax in responding to comments because I'm trying to buy a house AND write a blog AND deal with my upcoming bicep surgery and I literally have ZERO time to do anything except, you know, little blurbs like this which - admittedly - kind of sucks.

I will be back to normal operating status hopefully very shortly.

Knight..my phone hasn't rung yet. What the Hell.

WebSavvyMom said...

-->That is why it's important to remember the line "...and for these sins and the ones I may have forgotten, I'm sorry." Done, clean slate, saved from damnation until you at least reach the parking lot. Maybe.

Amy said...

True story: While I'm now an atheist, I was raised Catholic. I had to make my communion at 13, because my mom dicked up our Catholic childhoods by not ever taking us to church until then. So here I am, in a communion class with a group of 6 year olds, having to make my first confession on Easter. IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE CHURCH.

I walked up to the altar. The priest asked what I wanted to confess. I said, "Uh, nothing." He said, "You can't think of one thing?" I said, "Nope, all set." He laughed like a maniac and said a prayer that I "would continue to be the perfect child I'd grown to be."

Hence the atheism.

MidLyfeMama said...

Somehow it has escaped me until now that you are a Boston fan/person. I used to work at Boston College, and I once horrified a coworker by challenging one of the priests on the whole confession thing. She almost passed out. The priest on the other hand was quite cool with the whole discussion. He observed that Presbyterians were a bunch of arrogant bastards who think they can just talk to God directly and should be pitied. Not really, but I know that was what he was thinking.

Kris said...

I never click videos.

But I clicked this one.

You and your son are adorable.

Damn you both.

Annoying.

Jessica said...

This is hilarious. Even though you haven't been to confession do you still remember the whole thing you have to say when you go in? I totally remember it from my years of Catholic school. Anyway, I'm catching up on your posts this morning and crying from laughing so hard. Your son is adorable! Love all the missing teeth.

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