The Vacation Tweets that Never Were and Could Never Be Until I Got Back and Wrote This. I WIN. | Mental Poo

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Vacation Tweets that Never Were and Could Never Be Until I Got Back and Wrote This. I WIN.

After almost 2 years of dating, my girlfriend, Kerri, and I finally got a weekend away all to ourselves without children or work or any stresses of life other than me figuring out if I was going to go over my credit card limit paying for the effing thing.

Regardless, I was very excited to spend 2 nights in the White Mountains of New Hampshire...

..until...

Kerri: "Hey. How about we not do Facebook or Twitter all weekend."

*face goes pale

Ugh. FINE.

So I didn't get on Facebook but I DID manage to sneak in 3 Tweets on Twitter (which were automatically posted to Facebook so I totally broke the deal, like, 30 seconds into it):



That said, I present to you some Tweets that WOULD have been made had I not agreed to the deal in the first place.

THE COMMUTE






The latter one really pisses me off because you see 'MOOSE CROSSING' signs EVERYWHERE and no effing moose. None. I saw a turkey with turkey babies, though. I guess maybe that counts.

THE HOTEL









THE MASSAGE

The hotel we stayed in had a spa. As a nice little touch, I booked Kerri and I a 'couples massage' for the night we arrived. Please note that I had never had a massage before. And probably won't ever again. They touch your feet. Gross.







SIGHTSEEING











Then we headed home and I picked up my kids who began annoying the shit out of me withing the first 3 minutes and I was wishing I was back up north checking out the sights and fake-pushing Kerri off of steep cliffs and continuing my search for mythical moose.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what was in the room upstairs thumping around.

Gordon Ramsey should look into that.

9 comments:

Ryan said...

I'm younger than you, and I've lived here about as long as you, but I've seen two moose so HA! One was trying to cross a bridge into Vermont. I wonder what that means?

Also, I feel strange knowing that you were talking about Clark's Trading Post.
I've been there. That dude shooting at the train is awesome.

Trucking Tumbleweed said...

Those weren't baby turkies, they were baby moose. Everything is smaller in NH.

Brutalism said...

Of COURSE the mountains in New Hampshire are white...

Knight said...

I can't get past the ridiculousness of going on a romantic getaway the weekend you got a hot tub. The children were already gone, right? Why did you waste precious porch sex time? It's like you aren't even trying.

Eva Gallant said...

Glad you two had a good weekend; so sorry you are a web addict. Couldn't go without for a romantic weekend? For Shame!

Brett Minor said...

I just got back from vacation and was hoping to see a moose or bear. Either one since they are in that area and nothing. Next time, I'm bringing my own wildlife.

handflapper said...

Ah ha ha. That second sightseeing tweet actually happened to some I know. Or, used to know, I guess.

http://www.todaysthv.com/news/article/191348/2/Mark-Johnston-45-dies-after-falling-at-Petit-Jean-State-Park

Actually, that's not funny at all. What the hell is wrong with me? Whatever it is, I feel sure you are somehow to blame. A terrible influence, you are.

Boom Boom Larew said...

From your un-posts it looks like your were all having a lovely time!

J. Bear Savo said...

I feel as though Twitter and Facebook lost something magical while you were on your getaway...

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