April 1st is like Christmas for my daughter except with less presents and more TP | Mental Poo

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

April 1st is like Christmas for my daughter except with less presents and more TP

I had my kids on April 1st which is highly regarded by my daughter because she loves pulling pranks.

It's almost annoying.

So, when she found out that my son and I were skipping karate that night she immediately burst into tears.

Me: "What's wrong?!"

Daughter: "I had so many things planned! I was planning ALL DAY!! This is terrible!!"

So, being the good dad that I am, I took my son out with me for an hour or so, resulting in this Tweet:


Then we came home.

And do I know my daughter, or what?

Because THIS? THIS is what greeted me as I pulled into the driveway:


Awesome.

My daughter used an entire roll of toilet paper on MY HOUSE and then hung my clothes outside.

Then we went inside where I found this little ditty hanging from my bedroom ceiling fan:

That is my childhood ventriloquist doll, Mortimer (DON'T JUDGE ME), whom my daughter has somehow made even creepier.

This also greeted me in my lunch:

She's lucky I like her.

Of course, she also tried putting plastic wrap over the toilet but left 36 wrinkles in it (which led me to show her how to PROPERLY do it so I will only have myself to blame NEXT YEAR when I piss all over it).

So, payback being a bitch, I found a piece of my dog's toy that he had ripped off because that's what he does and deftly placed it in her bag of chips, so this is what she would see at snack time at school when she opened her bag:

Prompting this text from her around 10 am the next morning:


BAM.

Now I sit in the corner of my room in fetal position waiting for her payback of my payback.

She's way better at this than I am.

3 comments:

jack mehoff said...

mortimer is the modern day chucky - that things fuckin creepy

fishducky said...

I love your daughter!!

Eva Gallant said...

Oh...you deserve that girl!!! lol

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