Run, Mahatma..RUN! | Mental Poo

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Run, Mahatma..RUN!

WARNING: This blog post contains a lot of racial profiling.

You're welcome.

********************
My white sheet is currently at the dry cleaners.

Let me explain.

I don't think it's any secret that I don't like foreign things.

Things like:

1) People who can't speak English

2)
People who CAN speak English, but appear to be foreigners

3)
Actually, just other people in general. Forget #1 and #2.

4)
Champagne glasses in my anus

I wasn't going to include #4, but the hospital report said it was a 'foreign object' so I felt obligated to add it.

On a side note, NEVER use a champagne flute when a shot glass will do.

But I've digressed.


The other day, I walked into the gym at work.

We have three treadmills.

There, on one of the treadmills was one of the guys who works in our tech lab. For the sake of argument, I'll call him "Al."

"Al Qaeda."

He is middle-eastern.
He has the full beard/moustache/"I'm gonna kill you you unholy infidel!" look.

He wears a big, red turban.

Obviously, this tends to catch your eye.

Especially if you're an Air Marshall.

There he was, on the treadmill...

...with that thing cranked up to at least 13 miles an hour.

(For those of you one the metric system, that means "hauling some serious ass" kilometers/hr.)


Now...is it bad of me?

Because all I kept thinking...

...watching this turban-clad middle-eastern guy running full bore on the treadmill was:

"Great. Terrorist in training."

Before you all start calling me a "racist" and "racial profiler" and "hot short guy" and "sexual chocolate," know this:

When the shit comes down, and Al comes running at you at 13 miles per hour with a dirty bomb strapped to his chest, I warned you.

Of course, he could be just trying to get in shape.

Even terrorists get high blood pressure, you know.

5 comments:

Knight said...

What I get from this is that you have an irrational fear of turbans.

Also, I don't know if you are already aware of this but sexual chocolate would apply to someone with more of a chocolate skin tone. You fall into more of the vanilli willy category.

Knight said...

Oh, and yes, this was totally racist.

Eva Gallant said...

You are so bad, yet so hilarious!

TNMom said...

I've read your blog for nearly a year and have never commented. This is one of the funniest things you've ever posted!! Seriously, I snorted laughing a few times! Thanks!

Crystal Waldrum said...

FYI turban = Sikh, not Muslim. He is more likely to shiv you in the shower with his ceremonial knife than blow you up!

Still funny as hell tho!

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