It’s a list you don’t want to be on.
In all the places I’ve worked, the guys I know and work with keep “a list.” No, it’s not a “whack” list (this isn’t High School, after all).
It’s a bathroom “wash list" (a.k.a., "You're F*cking Gross" list)
It’s a list of guys who don’t wash their hands before leaving the bathroom.
A recent CBS survey said that 7% of Americans admitted to not washing their hands after going to the bathroom. I believe that 90% of this 7% are located where I work.
I don’t understand the idea of NOT washing your hands. The amount of germs you walk out with resemble the picture I've put at the top of this article.
(By the way - that isn't a bowl of bacteria in that picture. It's actually a picture of Kashi cereal (TM) which bears a horribly striking resemblance to a giant petri dish. How people eat that crap and not think Streptococcus is beyond me.)
...back to the washing hands thing...
Will it kill you to at least sprinkle them with water?
Is it too time consuming?
Are you immune to disease?
Do you pee and poo with laser accuracy?
One of the things most often heard when call someone out who hasn’t washed their hands is, “well…I didn’t pee on them.”
I’m happy for you.
I didn’t pee on mine, either. It’s a personal goal I have. Now I can go home early. Hooray for me!
However, if you’ve ever had the opportunity to actually stand near a flushing urinal, or even look at the floor AROUND a urinal, you’ll realize a couple of things:
1) Even when given a target the size of a small refrigerator, guys will still piss all over the surrounding area
2) You get soaked when the damn thing flushes
Every time I go into the men’s room, I have to do the four-foot wide straddle to avoid standing in a puddle of piss. I’m not sure what these guys are doing in there. It’s like they run in, penis flailing about, and just let loose (I picture one of those wacky sprinkler things you put on your lawn to let the kids run through).
My son has this problem. I actually went into my bathroom at home one day and saw pee on TOP of the toilet. Not the top of the toilet seat, the actual top of the toilet itself.
His explanation: "It came out like a volcano!"
He won't go on my list though. He's four.
Back at the workplace, though, it’s actually worse when you go into a stall where a guy peed (instances where all the urinals or taken, or - if you're short like me - the kid urinal is being used and you can't reach the tall one without hanging your junk on the lip of it).
There in the stall, in all it’s glory, is the toilet seat – still down – covered in great big yellow droplets of pee. If I have to pee in there, then it’s not really a big deal. It’s when I have to poo – and now pull janitorial duty - that this royally pisses me off.
The soaked-while-flushing thing ALWAYS gets me. This is because I’m fairly short, and the sensor that determines whether or not you’ve moved from the urinal doesn’t take into effect that I may have just decided to look down to make sure I’M not peeing on the floor. At this point, with my head down, the toilet goes into it’s violent uber-flush, spraying me with water, pee, boogers that other guys have flicked into the urinal, and little blue pieces of urinal cake.
Yeah…let me NOT wash my hands.
As such, I keep a mental note of people I see (or hear) walk straight from the urinal or stall out the door. This information is then shared with my peers (unless it’s one of them where they're subsequently called out in front of everyone), so we can avoid dying of E-Coli later on.
I actually worked in a building where one of our developers (surprise!) didn’t wash his hands after ANYTHING. However – and I watched him do this many times – he would grab a paper towel on the way out of the bathroom, and use it to cover the door handle as he opened it.
Here he was paranoid of touching other people’s germs…but thought nothing of walking out of the bathroom with pee and poo particles all over his own fingers. What an ass.
On our list, he was number 1.