When all else fails, idea-wise, it's time to go to Google Analytics and see what your website comes up in for site searches.
The results change the more you write.
Interestingly, the more disturbed you write, the funnier the results.
Here are mine...
(If you missed parts one and two, click here and here)
#1: Hot short guy
..here are the most interesting searches where you'll find my site listed...
#1: Puff the Magic Dragon Penis
I come up third in the list for this search.
Now, I'm not clear if the person is searching for a picture of, literally, Puff the Magic Dragon's penis (um...why?), or it's some other weird combination of "puff", "penis", "magic"..."dragon?"
I don't understand where "dragon" fits in here...but when you catch some back episodes of Dateline NBC's, "To Catch a Predator," it all starts to fit...
Who knew that dragon was a level 3 and required to wear a tracking bracelet?
The closest thing I could find that was relevant was this link, where a man actually had Puff the Magic Dragon tattooed on his penis.
MOTHER OF GOD...WHY?!?!?
I had a one-inch tattoo put on my shoulder, and it damn near killed me.
This man doesn't like his penis. He can't. There's no way someone who likes their willy could subject it to this kind of punishment.
Unless, his girlfriend's name is Autumn...
...because Puff likes to frolic in Autumn's mist.
#2: Sticky Poop
I don't even want to fathom how this person knows their poop is sticky.
I'm so happy, though, that they're seeking help on it.
#3: Poo Poo Puffs
I immediately think of cereal mainly marketed for fans of scat.
(WARNING: If you have a weak stomach, and have never heard of the scat fetish, please don't click on the above link)
If this isn't a cereal thing, then it means that someone is actually pooing in puffs...
...like little brown floating cotton balls...
...and these freaks should really be going directly to WebMD.com instead of Googling this sh*t.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Labels: search results