Poo, balls and a fat guy who eats his fingernails.
...it's not the plot of the next Fox sitcom.
(although, it COULD be...I'm sending a rough script to the studio NOW)
These are some of the things I've shared with you all through my first 100 posts.
I think my hundredth post was yesterday...
...although, I'm not sure, as I have a bunch of drafts saved up, and counting backwards isn't my strong suit.
(that skill is my uncanny ability to make my wife's eyes roll in disgust)
I've also discovered "Microsoft Paint"...
...which kind of helps show you what the Hell is going on in my head...
...and will also assist my therapists in prescribing the correct medication.
So...just a short post today to say "Thanks" to you sick bastards who have validated my narcissism.
To recap on some of the articles, here's what I've covered so far (in chronological order):
Shaving my Balls
This was a prelude to my "Vasectomy" postings...which, strangely enough, continue to this very day.
I just can't stop writing about my love sack.
My First Motorcycle Post
Alternate title: "Why the F*CK is there a bookcase in the F*CKING ROAD?!?!"
This also kicked off a short list of "Motorcycle" posts including a graphic description of having a hornet crawl into my skull.
My "Raisins are People" article.
This was my first article about kids. This was also my first article describing how much fun it is to lie to children.
Try it at home if you don't do it already.
You'll thank me.
What good is a blog named "Mental Poo" if you can't discuss number two, and number two related items.
My first one was about people who talk to you in the bathroom.
Just shut the f*ck up in there.
You'll also see in there that the article "Riding my Bike Through the Hershey Highway" is the first time I tell you that I was a fat kid.
...and that I sh*t myself once in a hideous display of explosive diarrhea.
Sometimes, I say too much.
My first "Jobs" article was "Tonight's Special: E-Coli" - a heartwarming tale about why you shouldn't eat in a restaurant.
...under any circumstances.
...but if you do, DON'T get the SPECIAL!
My first "Sex" article was called "F*ck 'Em, S*ck 'Em Robots" - and includes a wonderfully done picture of a toy with a ball-gag in it's mouth.
It's how I roll.
Needles suck ass.
That's all I have to say about those.
He defies description. You just have to read them.
Anyway - just another thanks to you all.
Hopefully, enough horror continues to follow me through my life, and you continue to think it's funny.
I'm considering doing an "Ask Moog" section of this blog for the future.
However, I've noticed that no one asks for my advice on ANYTHING.
I'm guessing that this is either:
(a) because it's obvious that I have really, really sh*tty judgement or
(b) I'll just tell you to go screw, anyway.
That one's a tossup.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Labels: about me