Amaze your Friends! Get Arrested for Lewd Behavior! | Mental Poo

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Amaze your Friends! Get Arrested for Lewd Behavior!


I invented a magic trick today.

Since I'm not some immature prick wearing a top hat like most magicians...

(I still wear the top hat and am immature...but I prefer to call myself "jackass" instead of "prick"...as does my wife, coincidentally)


...I'm going to divulge the secret of the trick!!

(somewhere in the world, David Copperfield is preparing to fist me as punishment)

Here's what you'll need:

1) A motorcycle

2) 39 degree weather (Farenheit...as I believe 39 degrees Celsius is something like the heat of the surface of the sun and will probably kill you.)

3) A 32-mile highway commute at 75 miles per hour

Combine all three ingredients.

Say the magic words:

"Hocus Pocus, Scrotus Gonus!"

Turning to face your audience...

...drop your pants.

You: "TA DA!"

Audience: *GASP!*

Your audience will be astounded as they realize that your testicles have magically disappeared.

(this trick may be easier for most women...I hope)


Now...

...where's Claudia Schiffer?

10 comments:

rs27 said...

I don't need all the props. Just pull my pants down.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Hmmm... that spell sounds familiar, was it from Harry Potter???

catscratch diva said...

Bless your heart.

Malicious Intent said...

You have been over to Mikes dipping into his percocets, haven't you??? Come on, admit it. We won't judge you. Well ok, maybe we will judge you...confess damnit!

Malicious Intent said...

P.S. I am seriously disappointed in the lack of postings at my site. Every day I look for poo, craving poo..looking for that perfect insult to make my day. Nothing. And no, you don't have to watch the I choose love video cause I know that is pointless.

wolf said...

Somewhere in the background, I can hear George Costanza screaming "Shrinkage! It's shrinkage, I tell you!"

At least, I think it's in the background.

Lakota said...

Bah - who needs Claudia Shifty when you have me?
Poor Moogi. Let me make it feel all better for you....

Ummm... your wife doesn't read this does she?
~snickering~

The Doggy Did It said...

Hey, I call my husband Jackass too!! Wow, me and your wife are like soulmates.

AngryMan said...

Sorry, dude, Claudia is at my house all next week. You'll have to settle for Roseanne Barr.

Baba Doodlius said...

You do realize, of course, that David Copperfield really can do *magic* - not just tricks and "illusions", real magic.

So prepare to get magically fisted over the internet. Soon.

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