I invented a magic trick today.
Since I'm not some immature prick wearing a top hat like most magicians...
(I still wear the top hat and am immature...but I prefer to call myself "jackass" instead of "prick"...as does my wife, coincidentally)
...I'm going to divulge the secret of the trick!!
(somewhere in the world, David Copperfield is preparing to fist me as punishment)
Here's what you'll need:
1) A motorcycle
2) 39 degree weather (Farenheit...as I believe 39 degrees Celsius is something like the heat of the surface of the sun and will probably kill you.)
3) A 32-mile highway commute at 75 miles per hour
Combine all three ingredients.
Say the magic words:
"Hocus Pocus, Scrotus Gonus!"
Turning to face your audience...
...drop your pants.
You: "TA DA!"
Your audience will be astounded as they realize that your testicles have magically disappeared.
(this trick may be easier for most women...I hope)
...where's Claudia Schiffer?