I invented a magic trick today.
Since I'm not some immature prick wearing a top hat like most magicians...
(I still wear the top hat and am immature...but I prefer to call myself "jackass" instead of "prick"...as does my wife, coincidentally)
...I'm going to divulge the secret of the trick!!
(somewhere in the world, David Copperfield is preparing to fist me as punishment)
Here's what you'll need:
1) A motorcycle
2) 39 degree weather (Farenheit...as I believe 39 degrees Celsius is something like the heat of the surface of the sun and will probably kill you.)
3) A 32-mile highway commute at 75 miles per hour
Combine all three ingredients.
Say the magic words:
"Hocus Pocus, Scrotus Gonus!"
Turning to face your audience...
...drop your pants.
You: "TA DA!"
Audience: *GASP!*
Your audience will be astounded as they realize that your testicles have magically disappeared.
(this trick may be easier for most women...I hope)
Now...
...where's Claudia Schiffer?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Amaze your Friends! Get Arrested for Lewd Behavior!
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10 comments:
I don't need all the props. Just pull my pants down.
Hmmm... that spell sounds familiar, was it from Harry Potter???
Bless your heart.
You have been over to Mikes dipping into his percocets, haven't you??? Come on, admit it. We won't judge you. Well ok, maybe we will judge you...confess damnit!
P.S. I am seriously disappointed in the lack of postings at my site. Every day I look for poo, craving poo..looking for that perfect insult to make my day. Nothing. And no, you don't have to watch the I choose love video cause I know that is pointless.
Somewhere in the background, I can hear George Costanza screaming "Shrinkage! It's shrinkage, I tell you!"
At least, I think it's in the background.
Bah - who needs Claudia Shifty when you have me?
Poor Moogi. Let me make it feel all better for you....
Ummm... your wife doesn't read this does she?
~snickering~
Hey, I call my husband Jackass too!! Wow, me and your wife are like soulmates.
Sorry, dude, Claudia is at my house all next week. You'll have to settle for Roseanne Barr.
You do realize, of course, that David Copperfield really can do *magic* - not just tricks and "illusions", real magic.
So prepare to get magically fisted over the internet. Soon.
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