Nation on the Move | Mental Poo

Friday, July 18, 2008

Nation on the Move

See ya in a week.

That's right...

...having very little money to spare, the wife and I have decided to abandon our children and head off on our very own vacation without them.

Don't worry...don't worry...

We've left the lights on the closet, and they have plenty of water and some dried kibble (we went all out and got "Lamb Flavor").

Parenting is easy when you have enough storage space.

Don't worry:

THERE WILL BE POSTS NEXT WEEK (see below for an explanation).


Being proud members of Red Sox Nation (suck it, Yankees!) we have a duty to follow the team around like little bitches every year.

Last year it was to San Diego.

San Diego's Motto:
"When this place ain't on fire, it's pretty nice!"

This year, Seattle.

Seattle's Motto: "Smells like fish"

Ironically, "Smells like fish!" was also the motto of a girl named Lana I went to High School with.

Lana fun fact: Lana, spelled backwards, is "anal."

Just sayin'.

So - I'll be off for a week.

I've decided that I'll do a Travel Log of my daily activities.

This differs from the "Travel Log" my wife takes with her and usually gets us stuck as security for, like, an hour.

The thing is, I won't have access to a computer to post them.

So I'll write them all today, date them for posting next week, and see how bad it can get.

It's like a game of "Guess the Future" but the future is all sucky and shit.


In the meantime, also feel free to browse around here...head over to "Moog's Movie Reviews" for some light reading...enjoy yourself...

..and once in a while...

...check in on the kids, please.

I have NO idea how long that kibble is gonna last.

Moog out.


Malicious Intent said...

Awe, a whole week? Did you submit that in writing and get approval from blog management?? You know you have to give 30 days notice for a vacation.

Moooooog35 said...

MI: Actually, I think I've changed my mind and will to a log (HA! I said "log!") of my week.

The difference is that I'll do it all today. We'll see how accurate I can't be.

Screw blog management. They didn't give me my blog bonus last quarter.

Cheap bastards.

FreeOscar said...

I plan on crate training my kid.
We don't have enough closet space.

Christina_the_wench said...

Duct tape and rope. Home Depot is my friend.

I hate baseball but whatever. Have fun away from the grind.

Now I hear the 'Bump and Grind' song in my head. Dammit.

AngryMan said...


Hungry Mother said...

I think that you should forgo all vacations until you can afford to buy a laptop.

Mike said...

Make sure you put kitty litter in the corner to soak up the urine and feces.

Preferably the clumping kind.

The Divine Miss M said...

A week without you?

How will I survive.


Mike said...

Enjoy your time away Moooooog.

I know we will.

Just kidding--naturally.

Your kids will be fine. I mean it's not like you were the first parent to lock your kids in a closet. Mine grew up okay.

Except one of them is a lawyer and the other is a serial killer.

God that lawyer thing embarrasses the hell out of me.

billymac said...

enjoy the fish smell... wave a bag in the air when you get there and then seal it for a souvenir.

Moooooog35 said...

C.Rag: Crate training is fine until the teeth come in. Then they just learn to chew through the grate.

Christina: Home Depot is my enemy...because there's things to build shit with. This usually means I'm home hurting myself with it.

Angry: YOU'RE the Cubs fan. Good to know.

Hungry: I'd be able to afford one faster if you people sent money. Thanks in advance.

Mike: Kitty litter also serves as ruffage. Dual-purpose.

Divine: You'll survive...there will be posts...just not me to respond to them. Enjoy my pre-gurgitated crap!

Moooooog35 said...

Mike: A LAWYER?! Shameful.

Billymac: Thanks for the tip. That should go over well at security when they open it. Of course, I'm sure Paris Hilton gets that crap all the time.

Jen said...

Moog, you are NOT allowed to vacation without a laptop!

Vacation denied. You must have 3 posts within next week's time, or else...

Let me think 'what else' should be.

Have a good trip.

Anonymous said...

Have a great trip, Moog!

The last time I was in Seattle, I played with my food and scared the crap out of a kid.

I highly recommend that you scare a kid, too.

Have dinner....or lunch at The Crab Pot.

You can thank me later.

LBluca77 said...

I heart the Red Sox!!!!

Have a good vacay

Anonymous said...

Have a good trip!

Anonymous said...

I envy your parenting skills. Have a great time in Seattle. See you in a week.

(Of course I have post prepared for tomorrow linking back to this site...and Yow Will Be Gone. Just my luck.)

Moooooog35 said...

Jen: I HAVE a laptop. It's just full of penis right now.

Fine. Not FULL. But whatever.

Gooch: Isn't "The Crab Pot" a brothel?

lbluca: I heart them too. But not in a gay way.

Wolf: Thanks! As long as the plane doesn't crash or I have to go to Seattle Target (where all they sell is flannel) if they lose my luggage, I should be good.

Meleah: Remind me when I get back to look at it! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Dropping by here... you got a nice blog and I will visit you again.

Anonymous said...

Have yourself a super swell week!

Blonde Goddess said...

I dream all the time about being in the middle of a naked flesh pile in the center of the Boston Red Sox team...dear GOD!!! OHHH! OHH!!!

er...sorry bout that...carry on. There's nothing to see here.

Malach the Merciless said...

Then God said . .


HeyJoe said...

Moog - May I be the first (or possibly not because I'm not bothering to read the other comments) to welcome you to the west coast, even if you are going to the land of rain and coffee douches.

I too will be "out" next week - Tahoe baby.

HeyJoe out.

Unknown said...

Just leaves some newspaper on the floor in case of accidents. BONUS- teaching the kiddies to read while away.

prin said...

In my experience, they always eat all of it on the first day. Greedy bastids.

Have fun!

Anonymous said...

Have fun, hope to see new posts soon.

LBluca77 said...

The sox were pretty disappointing this weekend. They better do better today in Seattle.

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