Two Score Today | Mental Poo

Friday, August 29, 2008

Two Score Today

Before I start, let me mention that there's a new movie review over at Moog's Movie Reviews.

It's a guest post review of King Kong.

Yeah...I know.

Nothing like keeping up with movies made in the 1940's.


Now...on with the show.

I'll keep it short today.

Like I have a choice.

You see, today I turn 40 years old...

...and I need to run out to stock up on Depends Undergarments.

So lay off, you WHIPPERSNAPPERS!!

I decided to Google to see who I shared a birthday with (August 29th).

Here's the list.

It's fairly f*cking depressing:

August 29:

29 - Aug - 1986 Lauren Collins
29 - Aug - 1985 Jeff Licon
29 - Aug - 1975 Dante Basco
29 - Aug - 1971 Carla Gugino
29 - Aug - 1958 Michael Jackson
29 - Aug - 1947 James Hunt
29 - Aug - 1941 Robin Leach
29 - Aug - 1939 William Friedkin
29 - Aug - 1938 Elliott Gould
29 - Aug - 1936 John McCain
29 - Aug - 1928 Dick O'Neill
29 - Aug - 1923 Richard Attenborough
29 - Aug - 1920 Charlie "Bird" Parker
29 - Aug - 1917 Isabel Sanford
29 - Aug - 1915 Ingrid Bergman
29 - Aug - 1898 Preston Sturges

Suckiest. List. Ever.

Preston Sturges! Dante Basco!? William Friedkin?! Jeff Licon?!

Who the f*ck ARE these people?!?!

More importantly... did they get on this "famous birthday" list?!?

Did they send in $5 to get on this list, and got a free paring knife with the offer?

The ONLY bright spot is that I share a birthday with Carla Gugino. But even THAT'S pushing the "famous birthday" thing.

On the Hot or Not scale, I give her a 7.

Not bad.

At least she got a higher score than Preston Sturges.

Another bright spot:

29 - Aug - 1917 Isabel Sanford


Weezy from "The Jeffersons!!"

Not hot, but how can you be putting a hatin' on Weezy?

You can't. End of argument.

Then, the downward spiral:

29 - Aug - 1941 Robin Leach

What has Robin Leach done in his life, other than being an enormous, bulbous annoyance?

Nothing I say. Nothing.

But, we share a I guess we have all those things in common.

29 - Aug - 1958 Michael Jackson

Well isn't that just f*cking great.

The most famous pedophile/singer/dancer this side of the guy who sang "Rock & Roll Parts 1 and 2" (listen...if your stage name is "Gary Glitter", the Feds are gonna notice you...LAY THE F*CK LOW)...

...and I share a birthday with him/her/it.


Thanks, karma.

I'm outta here, folks...gotta go pick up those adult diapers now that I'm entering my twilight years.

I hope they come with rhinestones.

Michael would like that.

Weezy? Probably not so much.


AngryMan said...

I'd be stoked about sharing birthday w/Preston Struges. Rent Sullivan's Travels, it's classic.

And Ingrid Bergman is hot!

LBluca77 said...

Weezy!!! That is a good one. I think she's dead though. Michael Jackson, dude sorry but I would change my bday if I was you.

I share my birthday November 13 with Christopher Noth, Mr. Big from Sex and the City. Also Whoopi Goldberg has my bday.

mauniejames3 said...

Poor least your having a 40th birthday. happy happy by the way...I had a giant party for hubby on his 40th...on his 50th he bought a mersadies classic red convertable for himself but hasen't registered it's sitting in the garage and all of the (three) grandkids think it's for them...I want it...I would look awesome in it...hey jump on over to maunies world and join...I need members...I have like three. again enjoy the day..and wear a helmet with the bike...those NH drivers who don't are nuts...we like having you a bit misty eyed there.

Coffeypot said...

Happy Birthday, Dude. But you are just a child. Does your mother let you out by yourself, yet? I'm 63 (be 64 next month) and I DON’T use Depends. I just walk around wearing only a t-shirt.

Narm said...

You and Michael Jackson should have a joint birthday celebration at the Neverland Ranch!

I suggest not bringing your kids...

It would be embarrassing for them to see you in a diaper.

Coffeypot said...

But I'm not that gross. I also carry my own pooper scooper for those magic moments that sneak up on us of more advanced… uh… experiences.

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

You wanna know why people buy adult diapers in my town? don't. I'll tell you anyway. They buy them to wear to the they don't have to get up from the slot machine they are sure is going to pay off any second to get up and take a piss.

Now I'm thinking about Michael Jackson taking a piss. I'm sorry.


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, old ass.

You and Michael J born on the same day....


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday MOOO!!!

Party like the rock stars that share your birthday..hahaha

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!

I wish I had the same birthday as Weezy!

Now that really a feather in your 40 year old cap!

Rahul said...

Michael Jackson and Weezy- Same person.

Look it up.

Happy birthday man. Don't clog the toilet.

Moooooog35 said...

Angry: you'd be STOKED about that? You need a hobby, dude.

lbluca: Whoopi and Mr. Big are the same person.

Maunie: Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. on a downside, by the time I finished reading it, I was 41.

Coffeepot: Do your grandkids have to show you how to "get on the internets?"

Nice call on the self-scooping by the way.

When I'm your age, I'll have my butler do it.

Narm: Who says I haven't done that already?

Hold on...Feds at the door.

Becky: And all this time I thought the smell was coming from the Reservation. Good to know.

Slick: I sense some jealousy in your tone. You're f*cking weird.

kimmylyn: Thanks..I've been contemplating lighting up the town "William Friedkin" I'm REALLY gonna do it!!

Meleah: Yeah. I can die peacefully now. Thanks.

rs27: No kidding...I thought Weezy was just a black version of Rosemary Clooney. Look THAT up.

..and...sorry...a little too late on the toilet thing. I'll send pics.

HeyJoe said...

Weezy - oh yea baby, she rocks da house when she be kickin' out da jams and… well I like weezy.

I think you should celebrate by getting together with Robin and Michael, cracking a bottle of bubbly and, well just see what happens.

Happy Birthday Moog. Welcome to the 40 and over club. Please wear your diaper proudly.

HeyJoe said...


Re: that pic of Robin Leach - WTF is right! WTF?

Forrest Proper said...

Wait! Wait! Rebecca DeMornay was also born today.

On the other hand, so was Slobodan Milosevic.

Happy birthday, man.

Anonymous said...

I just looked up mine ...
Who the fuck is Jozef Sabovcik? Lila McCann?

I turn 40 this year too and now you managed to depress me for the final months of my 30s.


Anonymous said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday. Don't eat the fries. At your age, you can't take chances.

The Sports Mama said...

You would think that being at the end of a long-a$$ week would help me be a bit more clever and witty with a comment, wouldn't you?

Huh. Nope. I got nuthin'.

Happy Birthday, though.... you're one year closer to all those awesome AARP discounts!

Colleen said...

Happy Brithday and you know you would take Robin Leach's life if you could. You go around and talk like a pompous ass and get paid. I mean I do that for free now.

Malach the Merciless said...

OOOOHHH Call the kids Blanket

Anonymous said...

Milosevic was (thankfully) born on the 20th of August and not on the 29th. Here:

Relief for Rodney, but bad news for me.

Former Indian prime minister and scion of India's most reknowned political dynasty, the 'Nehru-Gandhi' family (not related by blood to Mahatma Gandhi): Rajiv Gandhi was also born on the 20th of August :-(

Anonymous said...

Angryman, I always thought Ingrid Bergman was a classic, natural beauty. That photo is lovely; it brought out all her sharp, proportionate features, so well.

Blonde Goddess said...

Happy birthday Moog! Little Beatle shares a birthday with you as well. Except he's only 12.
The whole 40 thing is no big deal...your dick is just unhappy because it's not in charge anymore. He'll get over it.

Malicious Intent said...

have some sugar and fat free ice cream and party it up!


weezy is dead.

Practically Joe said...

There are a lot of adult diapers on sale now on E-Bay ... It's your b-day ... you can use my Pay-Pal account!
Google is so handy.
Happy 40th Moog.

Tawnya Shields said...

Happy 40th! I feel your pain. I turned 40 last year. Oh shit I will be 41 in September. That sucks a big one. :o)~

Anonymous said...

Weezy is a perk. Love her.

So, what to say to you... hmm.

Happy Birthday. At least you're not as old as dirt. Yet.

But, fear not. I'm right behind ya, pal. Right behind ya.

Nothing Botox and beer can't fix though.

Chickie said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Michael Jackson & Robin Leach - you couldn't be in finer company.

Unknown said...

Many happy returns of Friday. Sorry I missed it.

Anonymous said...

Please forgive me for the following comment. I don't want to offend chickie and all else in general. I do bear in mind that I am not from an English-speaking nation and everyone here is, except for the two other readers of Indian descent.

What I wanted to say is that instead of saying ""Happy Belated Birthday!"" we must put it as ""Belated wishes for a Happy Birthday!""

The first sentence implies that the birthday itself was postponed to a later date. But, it is infact the wishes which have come a few days after. The date of a birthday always remains fixed.

Rodney, sorry for the comment being so long.

Practically Joe said...

"Please forgive me for the following comment. I don't want to offend chickie and all else in general. What I wanted to say is that instead of saying ""Happy Belated Birthday!"" we must put it as "Belated wishes for a Happy Birthday!"

Indarana ... no need to apologize to anyone … we understand you don’t say it right because you ain’t from around here. We knew what you meant. How can your wishes be "belated" when you're saying them now? See?

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