Putting the "Wood" in Bollywood | Mental Poo

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Putting the "Wood" in Bollywood

For your enjoyment, an excerpt of a simultaneous Instant Message conversations between my buddy Rob, and my friend, Kristin.

To set the tone, Kristin is trying to get Rob to come work with us (Kristin and I work together).

We're also trying to get one of my other friends, an Indian guy, over here as well.

For the sake of protecting the Indian guy's identity, I'll call tastefully call him "Boostafa" in this conversation.

Here are the two conversations...and how it manifests into a conversation on Hindu sex.


It's ribbed, for her pleasure.


Rob: I will think about it

midgetmanofsteel: FYI - Kristin said you have to.

midgetmanofsteel: apparently, my penis is too large and she needs something toned down a bit.

Rob: LOL

Rob: ok....ordering the penis enlargment kit now

Rob: for me obviously

Rob: don't want you to be too much bigger than me

midgetmanofsteel: I'm ginormous, and now physically fit!

Rob: I bet. Still manscaped?

midgetmanofsteel: smooooooooooooooooooth


midgetmanofsteel: the baby oil your wife puts on really helps.


It's okay for us to make "well your wife..." jokes...we're professionals.

Sorry, honey.

Meanwhile...in another IM window...

Kristin: how long does Rob need to think about it?

midgetmanofsteel: it depends on the price of the enlargement kit. You know how he is with money.

midgetmanofsteel: oh...the job...no idea.

Kristin: what did Boostafa say?

midgetmanofsteel: same thing - let me think about it.

midgetmanofsteel: I have no idea how big his dick is.

Kristin: I wonder about those Indians

midgetmanofsteel: wonder about what, their penises?

Kristin: yeah...what the size is

midgetmanofsteel: Do you wonder anything else?

midgetmanofsteel: like...do their condoms look like little turbans?

midgetmanofsteel: do their balls smell like curry?

midgetmanofsteel: if they play a flute, do their pubes uncurl?

midgetmanofsteel: when they ejaculate, does taboule come out?

Kristin: lol

midgetmanofsteel: I wonder what their romance novels are like.

midgetmanofsteel: Gently, he placed his throbbing shawarma into her moist pita pocket. Slowly, he massaged her kafka until he climaxed into a shower of hummous.


Then, we went back to work.

Work sucks.

I need to find a publisher.

"Hot Taboule Showers" will make a killing.


Christina_the_wench said...

I have an Indian student who works for me. Should I ask him? And can I use your lawyer when the sexual harassment lawsuit goes to court?

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

There is no hot taboule in the kama sutra.

BTW, I love Bollywood movies. I am not ashamed to say so. No hot taboule in those either...or kissing.

Poetry Sue said...

Balls that smell like curry? that would be alot better than some of sweaty sacks I've sniffed in the past... blech

Anonymous said...

This post made me hungry.

Is that wrong?

Moooooog35 said...

Christina: Go ahead. Ask away.

You can use my lawyer as soon as I get one.

By the way: Any guy that sues a woman for sexual harrassment = fruit.

Becky: Be ashamed. Be very...ashamed.

Poetry: Thanks for the visual.

Oh look...there's my lunch.

Midleah: It's wrong unless you're hungry for some Hindu-lovin'. Then, you're all set.

Mike said...

Im glad you got middle eastern and indian foods mixed up.

I can still eat curries.

HeyJoe said...

Coincidentally, I took a hot taboule shower just this morning; however I prefer to scent my balls with Achar.

LBluca77 said...

The first Indian guy I see today I will ask him about his penis. It's ok he will be more than willing to answer. I'm wearing a low cut boobie shirt.

Rahul said...

I would like to answer all these questions with a Big, no, no, Big, no, Really Big, yes.

Colleen said...

I would read Hot Taboule showers. Ok so I don't read so good but I'm sure there would be an audio edition ... right?

fiona said...

Sexy food...or not

Malach the Merciless said...

Dammit, know i am HUNGRY!

Frogs in my formula said...

Balls that ejaculate taboule? Glad I stopped by--that's one I've never heard before.

Narm said...

I was waiting to see what RS27 said before I said anything.

I'm down with brown - I just don't know if brown is down with me.

Anonymous said...

Does Kristin blog?

Anonymous said...

You are a naughty, naughty man.

You so need to publish a comedic porn novel and sign the first copy for me, baby!

Practically Joe said...

Nothing like good IMs to get you through the day.
Can we do it together sometime?

Anonymous said...

I wonder about the Indians too.

Anonymous said...

Okay. I want to know three things:

a. did the penis enlarger work?
b. how big is an Indian shawarma?
c. how the hell do you ever get any work done having so much fun?

As a side note: Strangely, I always leave here in one of only three different states -- hungry, horny, or nauseated. Regardless, I'm always laughing so thanks.

Related Posts with Thumbnails