She's the hottest chick in the Hangman game.
Let me explain.
From time to time here, I mention my wife, Jen.
I try not to do this too often, as she often expects royalties from publishing her name here.
Since I've made roughly 53 fucking cents on this site, it hardly seems worth it.
I've also never posted a picture of myself past high school on this blog - and, therefore, never posted one of my wife, either.
You see...my daughter, Payton...
Likes to draw.
We really wish she'd take up another hobby.
Like, inventing something that makes her rich and is able to then support her deadbeat parents who, in all honesty, don't really feel like putting in the effort anymore.
For anything (helping out, raising children, working, self pleasuring, etc.).
But, yeah, my daughter likes to draw.
Without further ado, I present to you...
This is a drawing my daughter, Payton, did of my wife at school last year.
I particularly like the fact that:
1) half of her head is shaved bald
2) she has one ear
3) apparently, the top of her nose could pop balloons
4) she has no feet
5) she suffers from a major case of elephantitis of the skull
On a related note: a woman with these actual qualities would make the highest grossing porn movie of all time.
Don't ask me how I know that.
Also, my daughter believes that my wife has tilted, oval boobs that are directly in line with her armpits.
Why couldn't you draw mom with elephantitis of THOSE?
In the picture, I mean, honey.
I'm perfectly happy with your oval armpit boobs the way they are.
I'm SO owing her money after this.
Good luck collecting!!
I've hidden that 53 cents pretty well.