Ripped from the Headlines!! A Normal College Night for Me | Mental Poo

Friday, June 11, 2010

Ripped from the Headlines!! A Normal College Night for Me


Before I start today:

I've created an audition tape to try and have my VERY OWN TALK SHOW!!

This is not a drill.

Please check it out and vote for me. That would be awesome.

Then what would be awesome is if you spread the word and got me even more votes.

Then I get rich and we're all happy.

And by 'we're all happy' I mean "I am." I see this as a win.

ONWARD!!

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It's time for another episode of:

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES!!

* cricket


You people are real jerks sometimes, you know?

Today's news clipping:

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Rottweiler Puppy Eats 8 Golf Balls

BOXBORO, Mass. -- An 8-month-old puppy is recovering from surgery after eating eight golf balls, Boston television WCVB reported.

Wally's owners said the Rottweiler pup started acting weird last week. He eventually threw up three golf balls, including one that was wrapped in a sock.

But when the dog still was acting strange, Wally's owners took him to the Boxboro Animal Clinic.

"Lo and behold, there was another five golf balls sitting in there," Veterinarian Stewart Bleck said.

Wally underwent surgery to have the other five balls removed.

Wally's owner Julianne Bonfilio said some friends like to putt around golf balls at their home, but they never noticed that the balls were disappearing.

Bleck estimated that the balls had been in the dog's system for about a week.

*************************

Jesus H. Christ.

Stop the presses! We have a blockbuster here!!

Not to be too painfully obvious here, but...

A dog ingesting balls?

How is this news?

Isn't this pretty much what happens after Last Call at every bar on the face of the planet?

Desperation, thy name is "3 a.m."

Just sayin'.


Moog out.

****************
Want more 'Ripped from the Headlines?' Try this:

The Pubescent Octopus Box

21 comments:

Jules said...

BUT, if you get rich, you'll sponsor Studio 30 +, right? RIGHT?????????

WILLIAM said...

I can't wait to see you interview Cary Colemans widow on small talk.

JD at I Do Things said...

So should I be impressed that you can juggle while whistling or nonplussed because you can only juggle while whistling?

Either way, you'd better win. I plan to be your first guest. I'll keep those kids quiet, too.

Brutalism said...

"Wally underwent surgery to have the other five balls removed." -- Wasn't that a "very special Leave it to Beaver" episode?

I already voted. Several times. Can I be your Andy Richter?

Lee said...

My dog hates balls...she's a lesbian. What can I say!

Quirkyloon said...

Hey! I just voted again and it let me!

(And yes I expect a monetary reward, under the table, let's keep it tax free...at least for me.)

And I think you're jealous about that dog ingesting balls.

Vodka Logic said...

If I vote for you do I get to be on the show????

Seriously good luck. off to vote

Mr. Condescending said...

Win this shit!

Eva Gallant said...

I've voted a couple of times and have passed it on! good luck.

Buzzardbilly said...

I did a "vote for Moog" blog just now. Go lookie.

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Oh my god, I wanted to vote I am too lazy to join. Just make up a name and vote for "Yay rodney".

Moooooog35 said...

Jules: Of course...I'll have a 'Brought to you by...' just like Sesame Street.

Watch. I'll be hosting Sesame Street.

WIN.

WILLIAM: I am Gary Coleman.

JD: Any way you're impressed, I don't care. Just GO with it.

Brutalism: I'm not sure why you'd want to be an overweight male comedian, but okay.

Lee: take video.

Quirky: YAY!!! Check is on it's way.*

* not really

Vodka: Sure. Let's go with that.

Mr. Condescending: whoa whoa whoa. I win shit?

Eva: THANK YOU!!!

Buzzard: You, woman, are awesome.

Wannabe: You don't have to join to vote!!

The mad woman behind the blog said...

How many times can I vote?
BTW, I look forward to your friday posts each week. I doubt you would say the same for mine.

The Demigoddess said...

My Japanese Spitz died of the same condition but because she was smaller, she ingested jackstone balls.

Joann Mannix said...

I voted. So, what's in this for me?

I didn't even blink when I read about the golf balls. I have 2 large puppies who eat everything in their path. They have eaten my couch. They have eaten socks. They eat, all the time, used tampons and I have 3 teenage daughters.

I know. I know it's pretty sick when I can gross you out, Moog.

One of them ate an add a bead necklace with an elastic string. Guess who had the fun of pulling that elastic necklace out of their nervous dog's ass?

So golf balls ain't no big thang.

pattypunker said...

voted for you. you had me at rodney.

I Wonder Wye said...

The dudes never noticed their balls were missing....figures....

Didactic Pirate said...

I read this post... then clicked on another one... and then another one. And then said, ok, one more than I have to get back to work. And then I read a couple more. And now -- hey, what do you know? Day's over! Shweeet!!

Malach the Merciless said...

I don't hang out in bars

Mrsblogalot said...

You must win. Really, how could you not?

meleah rebeccah said...

Aw. I feel bad for that dog!

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