My Shampoo is Trying to Kill Me - I Have Superhero Shampoo!! | Mental Poo

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

My Shampoo is Trying to Kill Me - I Have Superhero Shampoo!!


Before I start today:

I've created an audition tape to try and have my VERY OWN TALK SHOW!!

This is not a drill.

Please check it out and vote for me. That would be awesome.

Then what we be awesome is if you spread the word and got me even more votes.

Then I get rich and we're all happy. And by 'we're all happy' I mean "I am." I see this as a win.

ONWARD!!

*******************
And now for another installment of 'MY SHAMPOO IS TRYING TO KILL ME!'

Click here for Episode one and Episode two.

Today's Episode:

I HAVE SUPERHERO SHAMPOO!

* insert cool echo sound here for best effect

Once again I'm standing in my shower as I'm wont to do every third week or so, and I see THIS:


INTENSE REPAIR!

I'm not sure what could happen to my head where I'd need an INTENSE REPAIR unless I fell in the shower and cracked my hair follicles open or some shit.

Then I remembered that we also have INTENSE DAMAGE SHAMPOO so I'm betting that INTENSE REPAIR is actually here to tilt the scales of tingly soapy justice to that balance of good because we all remember what happens when you use INTENSE DAMAGE:


As you're lying there dying because you whimsically decided to give INTENSE DAMAGE a shot, the trusty shower guardian INTENSE REPAIR takes control of the situation!


Yes.

He has a cape.

My story, shut up.

Sensing that there is someone in the shower in need, and apparently suffering from narcolepsy because I have NO IDEA how he slept through the friggin beating I just took (a knife AND a hammer for chrissakes) at the hands of INTENSE DAMAGE, he springs into action!


Yes. He can also fly.

I'm assuming this because HELLO I'M ALMOST UNCONSCIOUS and how else would a bottle of shampoo get on the floor of the shower to help a person in distress?

That's when INTENSE REPAIR pops his cap and in a display of sheer Super Shampoo-itude (no idea) immediately repairs the damage!!


And as you awaken from your near-death experience, INTENSE REPAIR has put himself back on the shelf just as quickly as he appeared..leaving you with only the fine fresh scent of coconut or some other fragrant shit in your hair.


"No need for thanks," he'd say.

"Helping repair INTENSE DAMAGE for people in showers across the world is thanks enough."

If he had a mouth.

If he had a mouth he'd say that.

I'm pretty sure.

I think INTENSE DAMAGE really hurt my head.

30 comments:

Mrsblogalot said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I think there has definitely been some intense damage to your head but I don't think you can blame it on the shower experience.

And who cares where you point the finger (easy with that thing) you make a damn funny cartoon!

Don said...

Could be a *soap* opera. That's a joke.

JD at I Do Things said...

When I insert a cool echo effect, I get:

I HAVE SUPERHERO SHAMPOO! POO! POO! POO!

Was that intentional?

WILLIAM said...

Does ejaculated magical healing suds keep bugs away like Skin So Soft does? Can it remove gum and glue from hair?

Avon is so smart.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

How do you come up with this shit!? lol

rusty said...

I wish I did, hell yea!

Brutalism said...

You have scared me so much I'm going to start bringing a bodyguard into the shower with me.

Yes.....start....

Moooooog35 said...

Mrsblogalot: It's not a cartoon if it's real life.

It's like you're mocking me.

Don: *cricket

Nice try, though. * golf clap

JD: Everything I do is intentional unless it's by accident.

WILLIAM: Yes. Let's go with that.

Tee: I'm assuming some sort of mental illness is the cause.

Rusty: Um. Ok.

You wish you did what?

Brutalism: I'm bringing one in, too. Maybe we should consolidate.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

what? no rinse? no repeat? what a pussy.

Vodka Logic said...

That's it I have no more doubt... you are certifiable.

Keep it up

Peggy Sue Brister said...

I'm wondering why y'all have so damn many different kinds of shampoo & conditioner. :)

Quirkyloon said...

So when are you coming out with your comic book series?

Seriously, I think you are onto something (or ON something) here.

*grin*

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I am thinking that design is the hair left on your head after you do the intense repair. Maybe 3-4 strand left? Not enough for a comb over. Fuck. How sad is that?

mepsipax said...

Jesus Christ you must smoke a lot of good shit.
You are twisted. I like that about you.

Eva Gallant said...

And you think the parents of your wife's students are fucked up!

Semky said...

Even though your rendition of Intense Repair screams "talent", it looks like a stout woman in a burqa to me. Glad I'm bald.

pattypunker said...

intense repair for president. that cape is so rad.

LiLu said...

Having a cape makes anyone or thing instantly 4,000 times stronger.

It's science.

Moooooog35 said...

Stephanie: A man has his limits.

Vodka: Keep it up? I'll need to renew my prescription.

Peggy: I WISH I KNEW.

Quirky: As soon as someone gets me a publisher.

Thanks in advance.

Wannabe: I'm still going with chicken paint. Thanks for playing!

mepsipax: I SMOKE?!?!

Eva: I know. I know.

Semky: mmmm. burkha.

Patty: Well..he actually is more qualified than the one we have now.

Lilu: I KNOW. That's why I have a cape.

Duh.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Spreading the word faster than Slutty Times Barbie spreads her legs.

Malach the Merciless said...

I see by your drawing he also made you bald

Daffy said...

I know where the hammer came from.

You probably swiped it off my nightstand.

Yes. I keep a hammer on the nightstand....you just never know when you'll need it....for some

intense

damage

uh....yeah

Occasionally called Robbie said...

Thanks for making my morning! Awesome pictures :)

The mad woman behind the blog said...

You have WAY too much time on you hands!

Lee said...

I voted for you, even though you don't ever visit me anymore. It's cuz I lost my funny isn't it?? Well, I'm getting it back!! It's a slow process, dangit.

Pat said...

That intense repair shampoo is scary looking, like a peeping tom bottle. me don't like it.

謝欣芷 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

Lori said...

Um, why are you now bald?

The Demigoddess said...

Now I am considering changing my shampoo brand. There has to be a reason I am more neurotic now than I was before.

Amazing, how you can make me see things in a different light.

meleah rebeccah said...

I did my best to promote your audition video, and I think that entitles me to at least one shower in YOUR HOUSE since my bathroom is NEVER this fun.

Related Posts with Thumbnails