The following post is rated "TV MLSA" for mature content, language, sex and some assplay.
My long time readers will recognize that I have a quite unorthodox relationship with my friend, Kristin.
By 'unorthodox' I mean 'I try to get in her pants..and she thinks I'm kidding and then tells me stories about her diarrhea.'
And then I stop bother her for sex for, like, a couple of minutes or something because I'm too busy vomiting.
Here's a sample of a recent IM conversation we had here at work.
We had just finished talking about going out for drinks on Election Day which I had to ask her was WHEN? because unless there's nudity involved, I don't really pay attention too much.
So then Kristin says she's "laughing" because she thinks I'm "kidding" which I kind of am (not really).
Gotta do SOMETHING at work, right? This is what we do.
This next part segues into a rant about this old jackass who sits across the row from me who is a cross between Mr. Rogers and some guy I want to kill because he chews with his mouth open ALL THE TIME and just generally annoys the piss out of me.
I swear I'm going to murder this asshole one day.
I'm assuming the only reason this chick married him is that he has a huge life insurance policy or some shit and she's just waiting for him to die.
Or put a contract out on him.
Maybe I'll hook her up with Kristin.
All guns. No sex.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010