Just a little insight into being the father of a 7-year old boy and a 10-year old girl around Halloween.
The Pumpkin Carvings
So the kids and I bought pumpkins to carve and paint for Halloween and since my kids have been on an Iron Maiden kick lately (because it's never ever too early to listen to your children sing along with a song about a man stumbling upon a Devil worship ceremony in the middle of the woods and then sacrificing shit) I had this inspirational carving:
BAM.
So then my daughter and son painted their pumpkins. I'm going to ignore the fact that that sounds dirty because JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE JUST CHILDREN!!
My daughter's:
Cute.
Me: "Aw. It's a ghost? What's her name?"
Daughter: "Ghost Girl."
(minus 12 points for lack of creativity)
Then I look over at..
..um..
..my son's..
pumpkin:
God.
This kid has issues.
So after I finish shitting my pants I look at him and go:
Me: "Oooooh, Cam. That's wicked scary. What's his name?"
*pause
Son: "His name is 'DARK SATAN.'"
*cricket
Son: "HE HAS HORNS!"
Wonderful.
My little brown-haired doe-eyed boy named his pumpkin "Dark Satan."
TOTALLY appropriate for a 7-year old.
A 7-year old who listens to Iron Maiden.
Meh. I guess that makes sense.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Pumpkins, Ghosts and Maybe a Bit TOO MUCH Heavy Metal
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
27 comments:
*throws some goathorns in the air*
Your kid's pumpkin kicks so much ass.
Not the ghost thing. That was kind of lame...it didn't even terrify me one bit.
But Dark Satan...that's going to give me nightmares for weeks.
Good job. Good job.
HA!! Exquisite! Can he play an instrument? Because I foresee a future metal band member.
If you wake up and your daughters pumpkin is slashed to bits, then you have a huge problem.
(And again ignore the sexual undertones of the first part of that sentenc.)
I am going around all day today and chant DARK SATAN, in hopes everyone will leave me alone.
Dark Satan... totally appropriate for a seven year old boy. Because it's important to establish your rep as a badass early in life. Bring on the Iron Maiden!
Dark Satan. You must be so proud.
Seriously though, I think the kid has a future in the dark arts.
Dark Satan is a sell out. He's already doing "Got Milk" commercials.
Are you sure he's listening to Iron Maiden?
Looks more like Disturbed to me.
Ha!
Are you sure your daughter wasn't fathered by Tim Burton? Her pumpkin looks suspiciously like his work.
lol. Looks Halloweeny to me - perfectly normal!
I would like to meet your son in about eleven years. Think he will be into cougars?
Dark satan is more powerful than regular satan, that's a given, but is he more powerful than super satan?
Don't take any long walks in a cornfield with those kids.
Oh, I have real concerns about what you're doing to those sweet children's minds!
This surprises you? And who's their father?
Love 'em.
i'm with elly. dark satan is so cliched he's doing activa yogurt commercials.
Your kid's pumpkin is way scarier than yours.
Think the girl's might be too (does that ghost have fangs, or is her mouth sewn closed?)
OK, creepy creepy pumpkins.
Aw man, Dark Satan and Ghost Girl are devilishly cute. For realz. Although...maybe Dark Satan could stay OUTSIDE the house at night. Know what I'm saying? Just IN CASE. I mean he looks like he has more than good cheer on his mind. Dark Satan wants to shit on your rug and pork your mom. Dark Satan will eat ALL OF THE CHEESE.
On second thoughts, your son needs to see a priest, pronto.
Just be glad he isn’t hooked on Clay Aken.
Dark Satan is MUCH worse than Light Satan. Much.
Dude! I hope you are saving up for the hella therapy bills your kids are going to have in a few years.
Your boy has true talent. Besides the obvious evilness, it's got mind blowing creativity. The yellow in the red eyes, the shape of the face, it's awesome. Now, maybe steer him in the art direction instead of the Dexter direction.
Oh, and Dark Satan and Ghost Girl would make a great comic, then turned into a movie. Joaquin Phoenix as satan would be my pick.
Both pumpkins are awesome! Your kids ROCK!
Can you imagine what your son would have done if you let him listen to Justin Bieber instead of Iron Maiden? Oh the horror!
HAIL DARK SATAN!
Gosh, you must be SO proud!
Good call painting the pumpkins instead of carving. I wouldn't give those kids knives either.
Dark Satan. I LOVE IT!
Ah yes, Dark Satan. Totally appropriate for a 7-year-old!
Post a Comment