Pumpkins, Ghosts and Maybe a Bit TOO MUCH Heavy Metal | Mental Poo

Friday, October 29, 2010

Pumpkins, Ghosts and Maybe a Bit TOO MUCH Heavy Metal

Just a little insight into being the father of a 7-year old boy and a 10-year old girl around Halloween.

The Pumpkin Carvings

So the kids and I bought pumpkins to carve and paint for Halloween and since my kids have been on an Iron Maiden kick lately (because it's never ever too early to listen to your children sing along with a song about a man stumbling upon a Devil worship ceremony in the middle of the woods and then sacrificing shit) I had this inspirational carving:


BAM.

So then my daughter and son painted their pumpkins. I'm going to ignore the fact that that sounds dirty because JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE JUST CHILDREN!!

My daughter's:


Cute.

Me: "Aw. It's a ghost? What's her name?"

Daughter: "Ghost Girl."

(minus 12 points for lack of creativity)

Then I look over at..

..um..

..my son's..

pumpkin:


God.

This kid has issues.

So after I finish shitting my pants I look at him and go:

Me: "Oooooh, Cam. That's wicked scary. What's his name?"

*pause

Son: "His name is 'DARK SATAN.'"

*cricket


Son: "HE HAS HORNS!"

Wonderful.

My little brown-haired doe-eyed boy named his pumpkin "Dark Satan."

TOTALLY appropriate for a 7-year old.

A 7-year old who listens to Iron Maiden.

Meh. I guess that makes sense.

27 comments:

MJenks said...

*throws some goathorns in the air*

Your kid's pumpkin kicks so much ass.

Not the ghost thing. That was kind of lame...it didn't even terrify me one bit.

But Dark Satan...that's going to give me nightmares for weeks.

Good job. Good job.

Dr. Cynicism said...

HA!! Exquisite! Can he play an instrument? Because I foresee a future metal band member.

A Vapid Blonde said...

If you wake up and your daughters pumpkin is slashed to bits, then you have a huge problem.

(And again ignore the sexual undertones of the first part of that sentenc.)

I am going around all day today and chant DARK SATAN, in hopes everyone will leave me alone.

Boom Boom Larew said...

Dark Satan... totally appropriate for a seven year old boy. Because it's important to establish your rep as a badass early in life. Bring on the Iron Maiden!

Sandra said...

Dark Satan. You must be so proud.
Seriously though, I think the kid has a future in the dark arts.

Elly Lou said...

Dark Satan is a sell out. He's already doing "Got Milk" commercials.

Quirkyloon said...

Are you sure he's listening to Iron Maiden?

Looks more like Disturbed to me.

Ha!

Mrs. Bitch said...

Are you sure your daughter wasn't fathered by Tim Burton? Her pumpkin looks suspiciously like his work.

Funnyrunner said...

lol. Looks Halloweeny to me - perfectly normal!

Knight said...

I would like to meet your son in about eleven years. Think he will be into cougars?

Mike said...

Dark satan is more powerful than regular satan, that's a given, but is he more powerful than super satan?

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

Don't take any long walks in a cornfield with those kids.

Eva Gallant said...

Oh, I have real concerns about what you're doing to those sweet children's minds!

Vodka Logic said...

This surprises you? And who's their father?

Love 'em.

pattypunker said...

i'm with elly. dark satan is so cliched he's doing activa yogurt commercials.

Ann said...

Your kid's pumpkin is way scarier than yours.

Think the girl's might be too (does that ghost have fangs, or is her mouth sewn closed?)

OK, creepy creepy pumpkins.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Aw man, Dark Satan and Ghost Girl are devilishly cute. For realz. Although...maybe Dark Satan could stay OUTSIDE the house at night. Know what I'm saying? Just IN CASE. I mean he looks like he has more than good cheer on his mind. Dark Satan wants to shit on your rug and pork your mom. Dark Satan will eat ALL OF THE CHEESE.

On second thoughts, your son needs to see a priest, pronto.

Coffeypot said...

Just be glad he isn’t hooked on Clay Aken.

andygirl said...

Dark Satan is MUCH worse than Light Satan. Much.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Dude! I hope you are saving up for the hella therapy bills your kids are going to have in a few years.

Sunny said...

Your boy has true talent. Besides the obvious evilness, it's got mind blowing creativity. The yellow in the red eyes, the shape of the face, it's awesome. Now, maybe steer him in the art direction instead of the Dexter direction.

Oh, and Dark Satan and Ghost Girl would make a great comic, then turned into a movie. Joaquin Phoenix as satan would be my pick.

Opto-Mom said...

Both pumpkins are awesome! Your kids ROCK!

Can you imagine what your son would have done if you let him listen to Justin Bieber instead of Iron Maiden? Oh the horror!

Malach the Merciless said...

HAIL DARK SATAN!

Pat said...

Gosh, you must be SO proud!

Cul-de-sac-ed said...

Good call painting the pumpkins instead of carving. I wouldn't give those kids knives either.

Katherine said...

Dark Satan. I LOVE IT!

meleah rebeccah said...

Ah yes, Dark Satan. Totally appropriate for a 7-year-old!

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