Dry My Hands One More Time..Once is Never Enough..for a Hand Dryer Like You... | Mental Poo

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dry My Hands One More Time..Once is Never Enough..for a Hand Dryer Like You...

Was in the men's room the other day which didn't happen to be located on the floor I USUALLY work on because I kind of got bored of sitting around and Tweeting and updating my Facebook status and having my boss constantly messaging me going, "Are you actually here today?" and after a while he starts to become annoying so I figured I'd take a walk around the office and then went to a movie but when I came back three hours later I really had to pee.

NOTE: No matter how much of a bargain it seems, a large movie theater soda is just way too big for your bladder - especially if you're 5'3".


Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Weird automatic hand dryer.

Obviously.

So after I wash my hands I go over to the paper towel thingy but see THIS on the wall next to it:


OH MY GOD IT IS SO FANCY!

But for some reason it was both hypnotic and sexy while being really really familiar to me.

I GOT IT!




White socks or not, Captain Stubing totally pulled some tail on that boat.

Oh..for reference:


Um. Wow.

Looks like Julie's attractiveness decided to abandon ship.

Regardless..as close as the Captain Stubing thing was, it wasn't exact.

Til I found this:





I'm probably aging myself a ton here but when I was a kid 'Captain and Tennille' had their own television show and I thought The Captain was cool until one day he took off his sunglasses and..

..well..


GAH!

What the fuck.

It's like The Captain is somehow the bastard child of Billy Joel and Cookie Monster.

Although, honestly, I'm pretty sure I had the same look on my face when I saw the 'Now' picture of Julie from "Love Boat" vs. the "then" picture of her.

Mmmm. Julie THEN.

Great.

Now I have to wash my hands again.

30 comments:

singedwingangel said...

Did you not watch the show from start to finish?? You are aware that He married Julie on the show so of course he railed her duhhhh lol

Kage said...

ha ha! tech support area.

i don't get it.

it sure looks like the receptionist enjoyed it when you entered her doggy house from behind...

Chelle said...

His eyes spawned the grudge kid.

Brutalism said...

I miss the days when random, moderately talented singers had their own television shows.

No offense to Ray-J, of course...

SisterMerryHellish said...

Wow. Just Wow. I haven't come across that hand dryer yet, but if I ever do, I'll be thinking of you, and Jule THEN and Captain Stubing's fingers.

*shudder*

Janene Murphy said...

How about a little something for the ladies? I want my Gopher update NOW! BTW, I agree. Those googly eyes are pretty freaking.

Eva Gallant said...

I see where you get the captain's hat out of that hand dryer, but I still wonder about you sometimes!

Quirkyloon said...

Only you Mooooog35. Only you.

*snort*

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Banjo Eyes! That is what my daddy would have called them. The DH and I had an argument about the C & T recently. HE thought they were brother and sister!! I guess he kind of has an excuse seeing as how we're Southern and all.. but damn.

Malach the Merciless said...

Love . . Love will keep us together

meleah rebeccah said...

Wow. The Captain sure has some crazy eyes! And what the hell happened to Julie. That's just sad.

bikramyogachick said...

He DOES have googly eyes! And Julie now....wow! You totally want to hit that, don't you? :)

Elly Lou said...

Didn't Tattoo (fantasy island) have one of those hats, too?

Cocaine is dangerous, kids.

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

It's amazing what a profound influence he had on the animation arts industry. Just think, without The Captain there would be no Anime.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

You should take more work breaks. It's good for your soul. And ours too.

ClevelandPoet said...

don't go in the tech support tee pee cus it looks an awful lot like the tee pee on the side of the road that the evil (or "necromanced" like they called it) turkey from 'ThanksKilling' and he'll kill your friends, trick you into thinking he's gonna let you sex him up and then kill you, and or kill the person banging you and then bang you with a small gravy flavored condom.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Funny you said Cookie Monster, I was thinking that the Captain (real name, Darryl Dragon -- I'm ashamed to know that) looked like he was related to Gizmo the fluffy Gremlin. It's the eyes.

Moooooog35 said...

singed: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Man..I'm even MORE of a genius.

Kage: teepee. Indians. Get it?

*cricket

Chelle: oOOh. Now I'm spooked.

Brutalism: I know. I'd probably be famous.

Well..MORE famous.

Sister: Like you don't think of me when you're in the bathroom anyway.

Janene: Moogy don't swing that way.

Eva: I wonder about MYSELF sometimes.

Quirky:

*blushes

Midwestern: He's thinking Donny and Marie.

The other semi-talented variety show.

Malach: I love you too.

Meleah: It's like he's shocked that he was able to nail Tennille.

Oh. I just made those same eyes.

Bikram: Yeah. Like that's a stretch for me.

Elly: ARE YOU DEFILING THE MEMORY OF HERVE VILLACHAIZE?!?!?

You've Got: Good point. Or Disney Princesses, too.

Absence: MORE breaks?

Okay.

Cleveland: I have no idea what just happened there.

Chris: NICE call, my friend.

Don't get him wet, Tennille!!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

It's like the entire universe just clicked into place. Like you discovered a lost secret that made everything just right. I've long had a theory that everything in the galaxy related somehow to the Love Boat but now you've proved it I feel a celebration is in order. Thanks man!

andygirl said...

I totally need that haircut. I'll go in and ask for the Tenille. so hot.

Sassy Stylings said...

Those googly eyes look like they were Photoshopped into that picture. Except they probably didn't have Photoshop back then so there's only one reasonable explanation: The Captain is an alien.

MommaKiss said...

I really want to know why you're always taking your phone with you to the bathroom. Also, that should be checked for feces.

Miss Yvonne said...

I love how you went from weird hand dryer to the Captain's creepy eyes. You are my ADD role model.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Dude! NOW's rarely< look like the THEN's. Getting older sucks!

And thanks for reminding how homely the Captain and Tennille were! Those eyes are what nightmares are made of.

LilPixi said...

Jesus, those eyes..... Sweet bow tie, that's really hip.

I'd have to salute it every time.
Or just picture things like the above, so someone could walk in on me laughing at a hand dryer & calling it captain. I want "The Tennille" too. Bitchin' haircut.

pattypunker said...

ewwww stubing fingers and googly eyes. i'm going to run out of the bathroom when i encounter that creepy captain's hat.

The Empress said...

You're not the only one who said "wtf" when they saw the captain's eyes.

i'm going to go google "what is wrong with captain and tenile's eyes" now.

We didn't have wonderful google back in the 70/s.

Maxie said...

fact: all old people are gross. don't act like you're surprised

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

It took me a minute, but you know who reminds me of the Captain from Captain and Tennille?

Have you seen the YouTube video "Everyday," where that guy Noah....somebody... takes a picture of himself every day over a six year period?

Totally looks like Captain.

Without a bow tie.

And, unfortuantely, without a hand-dryer helmet.

kris said...

What strikes me?

Is that your initial response was that you should mount the hand dryer in a sexual fashion.

Right from there to putting the thing on a Captain's head.

I am going to have to assume that the hat fantasy is just to make the sexual mounting thing more effective.

Ahem.

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