GUEST POST! - I-Renew Review and it kind of rhymes a little!! | Mental Poo

Friday, July 22, 2011

GUEST POST! - I-Renew Review and it kind of rhymes a little!!


So it's July and I'm taking some time off because it's what sloths DO and my call to have some bloggers guest post for me did not go unanswered!!

FINALLY.

Here's another guest post from We Took the Bait - a website dedicated to reviewing "As Seen on TV" products with a humorous point of view.

I had NOT heard of this product BUT totally enjoyed reading this completely. You will, too.

Enjoy!

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The I-Renew bracelet commercial is fantastic.

According to a super-chipper Art Edmunds, athletes and celebrities have paid hundreds, even thousands of dollars to get their hands on this strength and wellness technology.

Yet it can be mine, all mine, for just 20 bucks! Amazing!

It must work... check out the video. Between the 40 and 50 second mark, the people (NOT paid actors) experiencing the effects of I-Renew for the first time go from stumbling around like Verne Troyer throughout the entire fourth season of "The Surreal Life," or leaning farther to the left than Nancy Pelosi, to having balance that would rival Dominique Moceanu's.

(Dominique Moceanu is the only gymnast's name that I remember... and it isn't because I thought she was hot during the '96 Olympics... because that would just be creepy.)


Then again...

So, we bought an I-Renew.

Given our choice of ten different colors, I opted, of course, for:



Why did I chose a pink bracelet? I don't know... maybe so I could claim that I was supporting Breast Cancer research while building up my strength, endurance, and balance. More likely, though, it was so that I could get a fashion accessory to match my underwear.



There's only one sciencetistic way, that I know of, to prove or disprove this bracelet's worth.


Hells, yeah.

When I powered up the Wii Fit, the machine advised me that it had been 264 days since my last visit. Yikes.

But, during that time, I was still working out...


..somewhat.

To maintain our quasi-online anonymity, I used a Mii character that we've named MJ.



His BMI appears normal... probably because I made him 7' 9".

I'm kidding.... I did give the smooth criminal my height and age.

To test this product's Selective Frequency Resonance (whatever the fuck that is) and how it impacts my agility, I opted to play a couple games of "Penguin Slide," one while wearing the I Renew, and one without.

For those unfamiliar, the object of Penguin Slide is to shift your weight from left to right in order to tilt an iceberg, which helps your penguin catch fish.

Here's a video of some guy playing Penguin Slide.



So, MJ got all suited up like a penguin, as if he were the long awaited fourth member of Primus.



I played the first game sans bracelet. Here's the result :



84 points. Not too bad. Now to try with the I - Renew :


What the....?

My score improved by 21 points. That was impressive.

Still, skeptic that I am, I decided to play a couple of games of Table Tilt.

The score without the bracelet :



The score with the bracelet :



So, my point total went down. Maybe it's because I had the additional weight of a bracelet on my right arm, and that threw my equilibrium all out of whack.

Who knows?

From this highly scientastic experiment, you could conclude that the I -Renew Bracelet might be a factor in improving your balance approximately half of the time.

All I know is that if I were a penguin, and had to catch herring in my beak after sliding along an iceberg, I'd probably want to be wearing one of these.

Though, I'd probably go with a black one.

Where to Buy: I Renew Bracelet -- Official Site
Price: $19.99 + S & H
If MJ joined Primus, what would he do in the band? : Maybe he'd play cowbell. Or, he could just dance around like Ben from the Bosstones while yelling things like "Shamon!" and "Hee-Hee!"

(Photo credits: http://www.dominique-moceanu.com; http://www.karencheng.com.au; http://www.slipperybrick.com; http://blingyou.net)

Our sincere thanks to Moooooog35 for allowing us to write a guest post!

For more asinine As Seen On TV product reviews, visit us at We Took The Bait.

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Thanks to Jeremy and the folks over at We Took the Bait for doing this post for me and allowing me to push out some of my other crap into November.

It's how I roll.

Go bookmark the site and check them out!

8 comments:

Abby (Abigail if I'm in trouble) said...

I totally dig the MJ Mii....it makes the whole project so....inspiring! That his legend can live on through product reviews across the globe! Thanks for that!

Christina_the_wench said...

Steven Tyler scares me. That's all I got.

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

@ Abby -- Thanks for reading! It was between the Michael Jackson Mii and a Barack Obama Mii. I had to decide who would look sillier in a penguin suit. It was close....

@ Christina -- Thanks for stopping by! Steve Tyler scares you? As our MJ Mii would probably say, "You Are Not Alone."

Eva Gallant said...

I've always wondered about those bracelets. Thanks for proving that my initial reaction was right on.

So. Cal. Gal said...

Pink undies are sexy! Unless they're on MJ or that fat guy. Great post!

Jeremy from We Took The Bait said...

@ Eva Gallant -- Thanks for reading! Your initial reaction may be right on... unless you're a penguin... or dress like a penguin. Then it seems to work like a charm.

@ So Cal Gal -- Thanks for reading! You'd be amazed... simply amazed... at how sexy that fat guy looks in pink underwear... or maybe they're white underwear with faded barbeque sauce stains. Either way... sexy.

Jeroen said...

Same thing as the Power Balance bracelet ... that company had to actually put out a message to the consumer in Australia that there was no scientific proof WHATSOEVER that it works ...

In Thailand i met some people who were even involved in a pyramid scheme trying to sell the 'Quantum' rock ... Man, where do these people keep coming up with those names ?? 'If we make it sound scientific, people will automatically think it works !'

Anyway, interesting links after the beep:

http://gizmodo.com/5723577/powerbalance-admits-their-wristbands-are-a-scam

Janene said...

Ha ha, Jeremy (a.k.a. Michael Jackson re-animated zombie)-- awesome post! You saved me a lot of money, I was going to by one in each color so I could go for constant color coordination with my many (2) workout outfits. Thanks!

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