"Today I Feel Shitty" - a children's book....kind of | Mental Poo

Monday, September 19, 2011

"Today I Feel Shitty" - a children's book....kind of

When my kids were little, I used to read them a book by Jamie Lee Curtis - written after she lost her looks because once your looks go, you make movies with talking chihuahuas and write children's books, apparently.

The book was called "Today I Feel Silly...& Other Moods That Make My Day" and even though it didn't have any pictures of her from the striptease scene in "True Lies," it was still a decent kids' book.

I thought about this book going home the other day because my day sucked ass and all I could think of was, "today I feel shitty..."

And, thus, the following was born.

Enjoy.


Please stay tuned because I'll be narrating this in video format very shortly and posting it up on my YouTube page.

Fame. I WILL have you. Oh, yes I will.

Moog out.

Shittily.

17 comments:

Mrsblogalot said...

HAAAAA!

Although I don't buy that stuff about Dan taking credit for your work..because that would mean that you work...and I've been jealous of your non-work status for way to long but just in case I hope the hemmorhoid gets better.

SherilinR said...

it's destined to become a classic. any kid book that includes beer farts and exotic dancers can only be winning!

jack mehoff said...

i immediately think of JLC in true lies & the SJP nightmare....

you brought me up and then plunged me back down

nice work

Ed said...

Excellent bathroom reading material!

Only thing that would make it better, would be to have it printed on toilet paper.

Christina_the_wench said...

See your story is more realistic than the crap we read as a kid.

Why was Dick always running anyways? Sounds like a personal hygiene issue to me. Just sayin'. They make pills for that.

Pat said...

This will soon become a classic, along with Go the F*ck to Sleep.

Hysterical!

StephanieC said...

Man I HATE IT when I have to poop and I'm stuck in traffic.

THE.WORST.

I'm with Pat. When all else fails, "Go The Fuck To Sleep".

:)

Peggy Sue Brister said...

Love it!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

And know what makes that masterpiece even better? Hearing it in your head in the voice of Sean Connery. Try it. See? Your day just go instantly LESS shitty! No, YOU'RE welcome.

meleah rebeccah said...

Wow! This is just as funny as the book Go the F*ck to Sleep! Ahahhahahaha

Eva Gallant said...

You have outdone yourself! This was awesome!!!!

So. Cal. Gal said...

All you need now is someone who knows calligraphy. Make it classy because it's a classic!

The Wannabe Housewife said...

I am totally in favor of you writing things like this on a constant.

Seriously, that was pretty great.

Tazer Warrior Princess said...

YESSSSSSSSS.

This. Is. AMAZING.

Vodka Logic said...

Well done, I'll buy your first copy...can I have it signed?

badlarry said...

Got free movie tickets so we saw Liam Neeson.
Then we went home and I had my first threesome!


Yeah, don't even try and pretend the two are unrelated. Seeing Liam got you all sweaty, right?

Kelly Lund and Kids said...

This is being printed off right this minute to hang, framed, on my wall :) Bahahahahahahahahaaa!!! LOVE it!!

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