The Preggo Scuffleupagus | Mental Poo

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Preggo Scuffleupagus

I recently posted this on Twitter:


Seriously.

This Indian girl in the next cube over who wears flip-flips in 40-degree weather has the awesome habit of scuffing her feet as she walks. So, instead of the normal jackass who scuffs his feet like this:

"schuff-d...schuff-d...schuff-d"

I get this:

"schuffFLIP...schuffFLOP...schuffFLIP...schuffFLOP.."

*shoots self*

The good thing about this is that you can hear her coming from across the building so the 'element of surprise' doesn't actually apply to her.

The bad thing about this is that she's not wanted for any crime and I'm not actually a bounty hunter and this shit drives me NUTS.

Then she finally decided to wear boots in the cold weather...

IT ACTUALLY GOT WORSE.

"schuffTHUD..schuffTHUD..schuffTHUD"

So I tried enlisting her cubemate to try telling her to stop because it was making me batshit and all my goddamn stress seriously can't be good for the baby.


Well that didn't work.

Finally, frustrated and alone, I made this and printed it and posted it in their cube:


Sure it's mean but, honestly, I really don't give a shit at this point.

Since then she's been making an effort to stop the scuffing as she goes by but I can still hear her scuffscuffscuffscuff shit all the way down the hall.

Anyone know where I can score some Pitocin?

No reason.

15 comments:

Lady Estrogen said...

Hahaha - ooohh, just think - it should all be over soon enough.
Then, her mat-leave replacement will insist on wearing wooden wedges with no nylons and you'll be hearing
Klunk Slap Klunt Slap Klunt Slap.
And in the heat, they'll also smell like Cheese Doritos.

Eva Gallant said...

Aw, get over it! Be glad you're not pregnant!

SherilinR said...

my husband walks like that all the damn time! i can find him in the grocery store just by the sound of his shuffling feet. he doesn't care that it bothers me. RUDE!

laughingmom said...

Castor Oil...easier to get than Pitocin...

Suzy said...

My Dad did this thing where he would take a forkful of food, lift it to his mouth and BEFORE he put it in his mouth, he would do this little dip with the fork.

IT'S ALL I COULD CONCENTRATE ON WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER AND THANK GOD HE DIED OF HEART FAILURE OR I MIGHT HAVE EVENTUALLY KILLED HIM.

Mike said...

Moog. Send her the video that's on my blog right now and perhaps it'll give her some cultural motivation to pick up her feet.

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh man - that noise would drive me bat.shit.crazy too. UGH.

Rebecca said...

Persuade her to do jumping jacks, tears the ...whatever it is that holds the water in...once that breaks baby is born.

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

I've never been so grateful for our office's 'no flip-flops' rule as I am right this very minute.

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

Okay, normally I side with pregnant women on any and all issues, mostly because I'm afraid they'll smother me with their swollen stomachs, but also because ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS LIVING INSIDE THEM and that's just not normal so they're probably aliens and I try to be nice to them for fear the anal probe, but in this case, I'm totally on your side. Commence anal probing. Wait, what?

So. Cal. Gal said...

My brother wears flip flops and produces "the shuffle". The only good thing about it is that it gives me time to hide when he comes over.

What drives me up the wall is women in stilettos walking on concrete/tile...click click, pause, click click, pause.

Ed said...

There is always the option of removing her feet.


A little too Dexter?

Moooooog35 said...

OMG OMG OMG she is still here and still doing it. What's the gestation period for Indian babies because I swear she's been pregnant for 12 months. At least it feels that way..or, you know, SOUNDS IT.

karensomethingorother said...

go easy on her. Being pregnant sucks ass.

Houston (aka) Tots said...

Are you sure she's pregnant? Maybe she's just horribly obese and lifting her humongous legs takes way too much energy?

Just sayin'...

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