I'm in love with Fox News Anchor Gene Lavanchy and I don't care if the whole world knows it | Mental Poo

Monday, January 30, 2012

I'm in love with Fox News Anchor Gene Lavanchy and I don't care if the whole world knows it

Please mark your calendars appropriately as the day that I was delivered a restraining order by a Fox News Anchor.

Before I leave for work every morning (notice I did not say 'go to work' because 'arriving at the building' and 'actually doing work' are two completely different things) I turn on the Boston Fox News station because:

a) I need background noise for all the games I am CRUSHING my opponents in of Words with Friends, and
17) I like the anchors

Specifically, I'm a big fan of Gene Lavanchy because he doesn't take anything too seriously and I think we have the same sense of humor and even though I don't swing that way, I think we would get along swimmingly just bantering while sitting around in a sauna.

Or a bar.

A straight bar.

This is just a simple bromance, people.

You know? Gay bar, straight bar. Whatever. His choice. I'm flexible because I'D BE AT A BAR WITH GENE LAVANCHY!

*jazz hands*

It has gotten to the point where my girlfriend has threatened to beat up Gene because I'm all, like, "Gene said this.." and "Gene said that" and, in her defense, it's probably really annoying to hear someone go on and on like this when you're trying to have sex with them.

The more you know.

Regardless, I thought I'd bring you just a few of our Twitter conversations because I'm kind of proud of the fact that Gene actually responds to me and it's usually not in the form of a court summons.


This whole thing started when I made a comment about a story of a local meteorologist who GOT LOST IN AN APPLE ORCHARD and had to call 9-1-1 to get out. My comment about the meteorologist got my first-ever response back from Gene directly:

..and a Twittermance was born (trademark pending)



Sure it is, Gene. Sure it is.

But I will never judge you, my friend.

There was a headline about Mark Wahlberg stating that if he was on one of the 9/11 planes with his kids that he would have been able to stop the hijacking and land the plane safely.


I know. I had the same reaction.

I Tweeted this to Gene:

A few minutes later, this happens and I got so excited that it immediately went up on my Facebook page and Youtube Channel:


Sure, Gene completely botches the delivery and completely ruins the joke but in his defense the word 'happening' IS kind of tough to say under the pressure of cameras.

The part that I cut off at the end, though, is that another anchor on the show quoted Dane Cook with a very similar remark - but the movie he used was "Rock Star."

Dane Cook: stealing my thunder since, like, whenever he showed up and got famous.

*insert Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath my Wings" song here

Then we got snow up here and it turned out to be kind of slippery so I sent this to Gene suggesting that their morning meteorologist, Cindy, use this in her forecasts to, you know, get an edge on other stations. YOU'RE WELCOME, CINDY.

One morning, Fox did a fluff piece about this study, resulting in yet another Twittermance between me and my Gene-o:

One day, people in Boston were shocked to find out that Gene's longtime co-host, Kim Carrigan, was fired so now when someone disappears for a day on the show we all assume the worst (that they were sent to cover American Idol).


Seriously. I got, like, 16 kazoos and a bunch of those things you spin around in your hand for $2.

Radio gold, my friends. Radio gold.

That is, once this restraining order is lifted and I'm allowed within 500 feet of Gene Lavanchy again.

*waves from bushes


I Tweeted the post to Gene after it posted:

So, just in case there's a tsunami somewhere in Asia today, Gene and I both apologize.

Then there was a headline this morning about a new website that allows you to take pictures you snap on the Boston commuter rail system and post them so people can rate them.

But Gene didn't Tweet it. His cohost, Shannon Mulaire (bites palm and makes growl noise) did.

Here's how THAT went:

Oh, Gene-O...They're onto us.



Unknown said...

You are on your way to fame. No doubt about it. Hope you'll remember the little people who were your fans when you get to the top!

Deb said...

-->I know you didn't mean me as one of the people you're "crushing in Words With Friends."

The weekend is over so that means I'm playing sober now. (sort of)

Cool post about Gene too.

Ed said...

WOW, quoted on THEE Boston Fox news station.

That must have been seen by at least....a hundred or so people.


Pat said...

Your fellow bloggers are SO PROUD of you! Sob! (Wiping a tear from my eyes and sticking my chest out.) Wait. My chest is ALREADY sticking out, albeit SAGGING a little. Anyway, you get my gist. I'm proud of you, little fella! Wait! I didn't mean 'cause you are short or anything! That's just a saying! I'll just back away now. bye!

Mike said...

That's some serious bromance, my friend. Is it wrong to be jealous of Gene Lavanchy now?

Stacey said...

You make a great couple. In a very manly way of course. Like the Construction Worker and the Biker from the Village People.

Bobbi said...

You two are so lucky to have found each other....

Miss Yvonne said...

Anxiously awaiting your "You complete me, Gene" tweet.

JillyJillC said...

My GAWD man, Gene is stalking YOU! Um, yeah, that's a stalker right there. No more bushes for youuuuuu!

meleah rebeccah said...

OMG!! totally-super-cool!

Paula @lkg4sweetspot said...

oh man - you are a funny guy! That is all pretty cool. I think it is a match made in heaven...maybe you can get a grant to study that. I want you to know I got sucked into this while I was supposed to be making a deadline at work...ooops gotta go

jen said...

That's just so cute!

Christina_the_wench said...

Next you'll be buying each other id bracelets and passing notes.


kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

Butterfly effect? You've won me over yet again.
Your Proof of Life of this bromance has me virtually swooning over the object of your affection. Well done.

Brett Minor said...

That is so funny that she called you out. Busted!

Simone said...

i don't know what's funnier - you tweeting to anchor people or them tweeting back...

pure genius with the tweets... maybe if i need to take your approach. clearly, it's working.

you're on fire!

Robyn said...

I'm such a fan, too - love that guy! I totally approve of your man-crush.
I think you should send him one of those half of a broken heart charm on a necklace and you keep the other half and then he will REALLY know how you feel.

dreguan said...

You've inspired me to find my own local anchor to stalk via twitter

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