Little Debbie Wants My Ding Don | Mental Poo

Friday, January 20, 2012

Little Debbie Wants My Ding Don

Please note that I wrote this post before my friend, Kristin, got shitcanned here at work.

Carry on.


My friend, Kristin, and I have too much time on our hands.

Well...I also have a little bit of toilet paper stuck there...but that's because of my chronic masturbation.

Yet another episode of "Sick Instant Messages with Kristin and Rod."

Enjoy.

*******************
midgetmanofsteel: I wanna go home.

Kristin: i think i'm going to leave early

midgetmanofsteel: I need to start really playing Lotto..this working shit is for the birds.

Kristin: no shit. i hate it

midgetmanofsteel: not that I'm actually working or anything...every so often...like, once every three hours..I might do something.

midgetmanofsteel: other than that...it's pretty much just drinking coffee and going to the bathroom.

midgetmanofsteel: I may send you a picture message next time I'm in there.

Kristin: that's cool. i got really lazy here lately.

****************

(editor's note: I just noticed she wrote 'that's cool' after I told her I'd send her a picture of my stool. WTF?!)

****************

Kristin: i lost motivation

midgetmanofsteel: maybe you can look for motivation under my desk.

*****************

(editor's note: To my girlfriend: Honey...that's just a joke)

(editor's second note: Kristin, ignore 'just a joke' note above..I'm dead serious)


*****************

Kristin: i don't know if you noticed but some of the people in charge are like ding dongs

midgetmanofsteel: ding dongs? they're round and chocolaty with a cream filling?

Kristin: not that good


midgetmanofsteel: you said ding dongs

midgetmanofsteel: personally, I'd prefer a ding dong over a twinkie

OMG OMG OMG I FUCKING HATE TWINKIES

Sorry. Tangent.

Kristin: not ring dings

midgetmanofsteel: wtf is a ding dong, then?

midgetmanofsteel: are ding dongs the things that look like small black penises?

Kristin: devil dogs

Kristin: those are the penis shaped ones


midgetmanofsteel: no...not what I'm thinking...

Kristin: funny bones

midgetmanofsteel: I know what a devil dog is...remember...I was a giant fat shit of a kid.

midgetmanofsteel: you're screwing me up now


Kristin: oh...do you remember star crunches?

midgetmanofsteel: little debbie

Kristin: y

midgetmanofsteel: she wanted my fat ass.

Kristin: i loved her

midgetmanofsteel: you were all lesbo for little debbie?

Kristin: no. i just liked her shit.

midgetmanofsteel: dude. that's even worse

midgetmanofsteel: two girls, one cup..cake.

Kristin: lol


Kristin: her food

midgetmanofsteel: HO HO's

midgetmanofsteel: what about these?

Kristin: oh yeah..those are good

midgetmanofsteel: actually..they look more like turds than black penises


Kristin: what about the choc covered wafer things

Kristin: i can't remember what those were called

midgetmanofsteel: not sure...I think they were called, 'choco wafer things'

Kristin: ah...they were called "wafers"

midgetmanofsteel: wow...creative

Kristin: did you know the little debbie twinkie was called a "golden creme"

midgetmanofsteel: sounds hot.

Kristin: i thought so

Kristin: if you squeeze it hard enough the cream will shoot out

midgetmanofsteel: Hey, Little Debbie...want my golden cream?

midgetmanofsteel: it's gold because I have an infection.

****************

Um...

I don't really have an infection.

Ding dong.

8 comments:

Ed said...

"midgetmanofsteel: two girls, one cup..cake."

---Most Awesome Line Evah!

Rebecca said...

Wow, ....that's awesome that you get paid to work....>What do you do? HOw much do you get paid? I want a job there.

Eva Gallant said...

So, basically, you got her fired!

jack mehoff said...

hate to say it, and i hope its not true but i'm on board with eva...cant judge cause i dont know all the details but i hope thats not the case

J. Bear Savo said...

Shit! I haven't eaten any of those snacks since I was a fat shit of a kid.

Funny dialogue.

meleah rebeccah said...

ahahhahahaahahahhah! OMFG!


And yeah, it's TOTALLY your fault she got fired.

Simone Says... said...

we all know why kristin got fired... she should have found some motivation under her boss's desk.

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