The Urinal Cake that Loved Me | Mental Poo

Thursday, August 02, 2012

The Urinal Cake that Loved Me

Was watching the news the other day when they ran this story:

"DETROIT (AP) — Michigan hopes to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special message in men's bathrooms featuring an attention-getting woman's voice.

A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely."

This prompted this Tweet to my local news anchor and man-crush, Gene Lavanchy:

Then I started thinking how awesome it would be if I could figure out how to do that, and what other things I would make the urinal cake say as you started peeing on it.

"Hey. Did you have asparagus yesterday?"

"You should probably have that mole checked out."

"You complete me."

"nom nom nom nom nom nom nom"

*just some gargling noises

"How YOU doin?"

"Your urine reeks of broken dreams."

"Hahahaha. With that thing you better hope she really likes your personality."

"This urinal will self-destruct in 3...2..."

"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but your parents are ashamed of you."

"Your pee is luke warm. Just like your chances with the girl you're hitting on."

"Psssst. Kiss me. I'm really a beautiful princess."

I'm just wondering how many really drunk guys would fall for that last one.

Aside from me, I mean.


Toe said...

Those are just disturbing. But so many questions: Are they pee activated or motion activated? What about the women, no high tech pee activated men voice? How bad is the DUI situation in Michigan that talking pee is what they come up with?

Coffeypot said...

Dude, if I was drunk and went to the urinal to take a piss and the damn thing started talking to me I would probably scream, piss all over the wall and myself and break my leg from the fall as I am running backward to get away from the damn thing. Not a good idea.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I love you.

Therealvd said...

You had me at Urinal Cake.

Why not let the cabbies who you are going to call advertise on them?

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