The Urinal Cake that Loved Me | Mental Poo

Thursday, August 02, 2012

The Urinal Cake that Loved Me

Was watching the news the other day when they ran this story:

"DETROIT (AP) — Michigan hopes to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special message in men's bathrooms featuring an attention-getting woman's voice.

A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely."

This prompted this Tweet to my local news anchor and man-crush, Gene Lavanchy:

Then I started thinking how awesome it would be if I could figure out how to do that, and what other things I would make the urinal cake say as you started peeing on it.

"Hey. Did you have asparagus yesterday?"

"You should probably have that mole checked out."

"You complete me."

"nom nom nom nom nom nom nom"

*just some gargling noises

"How YOU doin?"

"Your urine reeks of broken dreams."

"Hahahaha. With that thing you better hope she really likes your personality."

"This urinal will self-destruct in 3...2..."

"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but your parents are ashamed of you."

"Your pee is luke warm. Just like your chances with the girl you're hitting on."

"Psssst. Kiss me. I'm really a beautiful princess."

I'm just wondering how many really drunk guys would fall for that last one.

Aside from me, I mean.


Toe said...

Those are just disturbing. But so many questions: Are they pee activated or motion activated? What about the women, no high tech pee activated men voice? How bad is the DUI situation in Michigan that talking pee is what they come up with?

Coffeypot said...

Dude, if I was drunk and went to the urinal to take a piss and the damn thing started talking to me I would probably scream, piss all over the wall and myself and break my leg from the fall as I am running backward to get away from the damn thing. Not a good idea.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I love you.

Therealvd said...

You had me at Urinal Cake.

Why not let the cabbies who you are going to call advertise on them?

Anonymous said...

Why American men should boycott American women

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the following crimes:

1. False rape accusations (it has been proven that up to 80 percent of rape accusations are FALSE)

2. False domestic violence (DV) charges (same as above)

3. Financial destruction of men in divorce courts through alimony and support payments (women get up to 95 percent of their ex-husband's income and savings, as well as the house, car, etc)

4. Emotional destruction of men by ex-wives who have stolen their children from them and forbidden the fathers from having custody or contact with their own children

5. Divorced dads who commit suicide as a result

Not one single American woman has EVER condemned their fellow American women for committing these crimes against men. Silence means consent. Therefore, American women support and enjoy destroying men's lives and causing men to commit suicide. Apparently, American women think it is okay to be a criminal, just as long as you are a woman. Therefore, is it any surprise that a huge percent of American men no longer want anything to do with American women, other than using them for easy sex and then throwing them away?

A few more reasons to stay away from American women?

-25 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs for mental illnesses.
-25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
-85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
-70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
-The majority of child molestation, child abuse, and child murder in America is done by WOMEN.

Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband; so the fact is most American men no longer want to marry American women. Let these worthless American women grow old living alone with their 10 cats.


Related Posts with Thumbnails