RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES! - My very own "Twas the Night Before Christmas" rewrite | Mental Poo

Monday, December 24, 2012

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES! - My very own "Twas the Night Before Christmas" rewrite

I was kind of shocked to hear this on the news the other day:

 
Some woman spent $200,000 dollars of her own money to have "Twas the Night Before Christmas" rewritten with the entire section about Santa smoking a pipe removed.

This begs two questions:

1) Really?!

and

2) Can I borrow some money?

So I decided to go ONE STEP FURTHER and not only spend NO MONEY doing a rewrite of "Twas the Night Before Christmas," but to make it:

- even MORE politically correct,
- not biased towards any religion and/or holiday, AND
- modernized


You will see in my new version that Santa is now pretty jacked and not a big obese guy that would normally be charged with home invasion.

Enjoy.


There.

That's better.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, etc. etc. to you all. Seriously.

Merry Moog out.


16 comments:

Ducky said...

That's damn near perfect! Sad, but perfect.

Coffeypot said...

A Classic! I posted one for you, too. Read the price tag...

MSgt B said...

Merry Christmas Mooog!

The poem is awesome.

fishducky said...

That is ABSOLUTELY the best version I've ever read!!!

Eva Gallant said...

Great work!

Ed said...

Nice work.

Winopants said...

The dryer wasn't broken, this PC family is saving energy for the holiday season.
Lovely poem, warms the heart!

Laura said...

Merry Christmas. Perfect reading for my night.

Alison said...

This is fantastic! I found you from your comment on The Bloggess. Since you have a ”share” button on your blog, I assume you don't mind if I put a link to this post on Facebook.

Alison said...

This is fantastic! I found you from your comment on The Bloggess. Since you have a ”share” button on your blog, I assume you don't mind if I put a link to this post on Facebook.

Moooooog35 said...

Go nuts, Alison.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Mary said...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing:). Merry whatever....

Mary said...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing:). Merry whatever....

vyvacious said...

This is seriously awesome.

Opto-Mom said...

I hope the toys he brought were gender neutral!

Knight said...

Yeah that was pretty f'ing awesome.

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