Even my subconscious is an asshole | Mental Poo

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Even my subconscious is an asshole

Well..I'm back after my summer hiatus.

So, to ease you back into my blog, I give you just this simple little ditty.

Enjoy.


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Dream I had last night:

I walked into a Macy's looking for jewelry. 

Please note that I would never buy jewelry from Macy's in real life. I blame this part of the dream on a bad grape I may have ingested.

That said, as I walked around the counter, a salesman looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, sir. But we only sell expensive jewelry here."

I looked at him and said, "Hey. FUCK YOU, dude."

He began to promptly walk away from me when I said, "You know what? Take me to your manager."

He continued to walk away from me.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Jaclyn," he said.

I stopped.

"Jaclyn? Seriously?"

"Yes," he said, as he continued to walk away from me, quickening his pace.

"Did your parents hate you? I assume that's why you're named Jaclyn. Because I can see how they couldn't stand you after seeing you for only a minute."

And then Jaclyn disappeared, and I remained satisfied in the resolution.

Fin.

4 comments:

Timothy Hecht said...

Uh, okay. Nothing wrong with you that 25 years of psychotherapy wouldn't cure.

jack mehoff said...

yesterday i berated a "william"
from india because he was calling about my microsoft computer - i said take me off your list, im sorry sir i cannot do dat. i said do you understand the words that are commin outta my mouth, take me off your list. let me talk to your manager, do you have a manager. yes sir. hello this is so and so - take me off your list. ok sir. and you might wana let "William" know how to do that cuz he said he couldnt do that. yes ok sir. you have a great labor day. yes you too sir.

great seein ya back.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

I think the obvious question here is where do you buy your jewelry? In your normal dreams? Uh, yeah, right. Never mind.

Cara Lyn Erickson said...

Haha. Gotta love the weird stuff that happens in dreams. Jaclyn was an asshole though!

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