"Hey, Rod. Are you SURE you won't be going back to Comfort Suites?" "Oh. Positive."

I recently came back from a trip with my kids to Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Hershey, Pennsylvania motto:

"Come for the chocolate. Stay for the diabetes."

Regardless, we stayed at the lovely Comfort Suites Hotel in nearby Hummelstown which we had to get to by passing a place called "Shartlesville" which still makes me laugh to this very day because it has "Shart" in it and I'm 9.

How was the stay?

Well, maybe this nice letter I sent to Guest Relations at Comfort Suites will fill the picture in for you:



Wait...there's more...


So now I sit here waiting for my complaint to be answered in which case I'm hoping I get some refund and maybe a million dollars or something to compensate for my mental anguish and all around general grossed-outedness but would seriously settle for one of those 5 lb. Hershey bars they sell at the gift stores.

I'm easy that way. Unless it involves blood. Then I make things complicated.

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UPDATE!

Just got this email:


BAM.

Looks like I can file this under "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

Or, more appropriately, "the blood-stained linens get the Resolve Stain Remover."