Road droppings | Mental Poo

Friday, September 21, 2007

Road droppings

I almost drove into a bookcase today.

You know, there are a certain number of things in your life that you'll never think you'll actually say out loud. The above sentence is one of them.

There I was, minding my own business, driving down the highway when there it was. In the middle of my lane, a crumpled metal bookcase.

I swerved. I survived.

But, seriously - WTF?!? Did the person who managed to actually lose this thing off the back of his/her truck NOT KNOW that it had plummeted off and landed behind them?! I'm sure it must have made SOME kind of noise (like, *tink*) as it crashed to the pavement behind them.

It's weird how you see things in the road that people have lost, and wonder how in the Hell they didn't either (a) know about it or (b) care enough to pick the damn thing up. Going to that renaissance fair(e) last weekend, I saw a down pillow in the road...obviously, beaten to bejeesus with feathers everywhere from the cars hitting it (either accidentally or..in my case...for fun). This is much more acceptable than a bookcase, regardless.

It made me think about how many times I've come close to dying on that motorcycle. At some point, I probably will bite it on the bike.

Here's why I think this:

1) A few close-call scenarios (such as the bookcase, above)
2) I drive a LOT (70 miles a day)
3) A psychic told me that's how I'd bite it

The third one is the one that gets me. A long time ago, at Salisbury Beach, some friends and I visited one of the "beach psychics" (which is basically a kiosk with an Indian woman in it). At the end of my PAID SESSION, she told me I would end my life in a motorcycle accident. I almost asked for my money back. I only wanted to know if Farrah Fawcett liked me...and she tells me this?!? Are they supposed to tell you this stuff? Isn't there some ethics guide somewhere for beach psychics?

I've come into a few close calls. The closest call I had was approaching an intersection of a main 6-lane road, with a red light. As I braked, I realized that I was still going...not slowing down...straight into and through the busy intersection where cars were now crisscrossing. I started to panic - this was not good. That's when I looked down and found the culprit:

..my front tire had stopped on (and I swear this is true) a cantaloupe peel.

Here I was sliding through the intersection to my impending messy demise...by coasting on the rind of a large melon.

Luckily, you can actually RELEASE the brakes..which I did..re-braked, and saved my ass.

To this day, I won't eat cantaloupe out of spite.

Bet the psychic didn't see that coming.

6 comments:

Paul Fredette said...

um......ahhhhh.....you....um....
What kind of motorcycle do you have?

Anonymous said...

How do people lose shoes on the highway? Some, after losing one, throw the other out too. I have seen this several times.

DVeau said...

It's the end of September in New England, and you're still driving the bike to work in the morning?
-Bookcase or not, you're braver than I am.

Steffen said...

Can you give me the description of your bike each and every thing, so i would analyse it.

Garry said...

Riding at a High Speed on High way its very enjoyable but you should have control on it otherwise you will pay for it.

Gauche said...

hmm. time to invest in new riding gear. lots of it.

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