An Award, Some Sharts, and a Shameless "Plug de la Butt" | Mental Poo

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

An Award, Some Sharts, and a Shameless "Plug de la Butt"


Just a few things today.

This is because my mind has been clouded by my Percocets...

...and I've been trying to erase the dreams I've been having of a threesome with Rosie O'Donnell and Minnie Driver.

(on a related note, I've found a cure for those men with four-hour Viagra boners)

I'm really starting to hate Percocets.


Anyway...

Malach the Merciless has bestowed upon me his first-ever award, "The Blog Superstar" award:



I've always wanted to be a blog superstar...even as a kid.

Even the other kids called me "blog superstar."

Wait...

Nevermind...nevermind...it wasn't "blog superstar"....

...it was "BLOB Stupid shit."

I was really, really fat.

Kids are mean.

I'm going to get a Twinkie and cry in a corner.

Thanks for dredging up that f*cking memory, Malach.



Is that poo on your ass, or are you just happy to see me?

In true reciprocating fashion, I've realized that it's been a while since I've given out the Moooooog35 coveted "Shart of my Heart" award to anyone.

(this is primarily because the picture is so disgusting, that people refuse to post it on their site)


So, without further ado...I bestow this "award" (basically, a guy with sh*t all over his ass) to the following blogs for making me laugh on a regular basis:

The Offended Blogger


Cookiebitch


Your Beard is Good

Spazoid's Space

Malicious Intent


These are all awesome blogs, with lots of stuff to make you laugh.

And now, they may have a picture of someone who's sh*t their pants to further their cause.

Congrats to all!

Don't let it go to your head.

My Shameless Plug

If you haven't noticed, I have a new thing on my right sidebar that now says I also write for "Scrivel."

This is an alternate blog site that has about 10 writers or so (I'm not really paying attention, though, as I only really give a rat's ass about myself) and is trying to get a good pushoff.

The Pros: For those of you asking for shorter articles, your wish has been granted

The Cons: I don't do my own pictures there. I've decided that I'm too f*cking lazy to actually do this sh*t more than I have to.

Scrivel.com
Anyway...

Right now, you'll find four articles from yours-truly up there...that you won't find here:

An Open Letter to Guapo, My Janitor
A heartwarming story about our illegal-immigrant janitor who, for some f*cking reason, can't figure out how to refill the towel dipsenser in the f*cking men's room.

The Chopstick Terrorists
A lighthearted journey into the mentality of the stupid f*cksh*ts doing security at amusement parks. Fun for the whole family!

Jack Sparrow and the Class-3 Felony
My son went to a birthday party. Not fun.

Nice Tooth, Helga
You know the hot deli chick at your grocery store? Yeah...me either. This one's about that ugly, toothless b*tch.

I also have one coming up called "Rosie eats Minnie, a Love Story."

F*ck.

I really need to get off these painkillers.

17 comments:

tekfan33 said...

You know that's not really sh*t on his ass, right? It's even better....roadrash. Yeah...like from chaps with no pants on.

See...told ya' it was even better!

The Doggy Did It said...

So what is the deal, just anyone can make up any goofy award they want, and give it to others?? Is there some award sanction committee that monitors this willy nilly blog awarding??

moooooog35 said...

tekfan: po-TA-to, po-tah-to. Shart...roadrash...I'm going with shart.

Doggy: Yeah, it's all pretty much bullsh*t. Enjoy!

rs27 said...

Yeah we did it! U-S-A! U-S-A! I' will gladly take my shart and/or roadrash...

cookiebitch said...

I am so fucking touched. Really. I mean that. I will wear your shit with pride man ... wait, that sounded kind of kinky and wrong. Oh hell ... who am I kidding ... my life is all about kinky and wrong.

Thanks ... and I can't wait to display it :)

Casdok said...

I havent visited for a while, but i see you havent lost your touch!! :)

catscratch diva said...

Congrats on the lil ditty. Your daily dose of goodie is right up thre with my coffee and bagel (and I make damn good coffee).

theoffendedblogger said...

Well it's about damn time! I was considering making an award using your avatar and saying you gave it to me. :p

Then you'd let it slide because you felt guilty hehe.

Simply Curious said...

Yeah, I don't think it's shit either... Looks more like he was pulled for like 20 feet on a rocky road. Either way, it's pretty fuckin' raunchy.

I used to think Minni Driver was pretty. I was a little girl, so I plead, stupidity.

Malach the Merciless said...

I suppose I will have to get over there

Deb said...

When you mentioned the players in your threesome, I thought no way, not even to get at Minnie, but Rosie looks okay in the photo. I could hit it.

Malicious Intent said...

Sorry, I tried to come ove here yesterday to say thanks for my award, but your comment section was not showing me any love and denied me access to my favorite poo.

Anyway, thanks for the love...sorry I went public with it all...I just couldn't hide it anymore! My husband wants to know when you are taking me out, he really could use a night off.

job said...

hopefully that's not the real 'thing'..it is not good to see oter people's thing..:)

Prin said...

Once again, I thank shart that I'm not funny.

skip said...

is that a real sh#t>?/ damn disgusting. what about that fat kid>?? curry kentucky fried chicken>? haha

Indrani Bhattacharya said...

skip,

that child was featured with her own news article on television. She suffers from an eating disorder that produces results which are the opposite of disorders like: Bulimia Nervosa and Anorexia. In the symptoms of these two, people eat and then tortured by guilt that the ingested food will increase their weight, stick their fingers in their throats and then vomit up the food. As you know, putting a finger inside the throat brings forth a rapid 'reverse peristalsis'; the alimentary canal goes through spasmodic motions in the reverse direction of ingestion, causing ejection of food.

The girl child in the photo has insatiated hunger, ALL of what she eats is digested. Her parents can't afford the demands her obsession is putting on their income. She has become somewhat of a freak show, with visitors coming to have a look at her and paying her parents money for the 'exhibition'.

I don't know what has become of her lately or if she has been cured.

She being the daughter of a villager, there is no question of her having accessed MacDonalds or KFC. It was home cooked, ordinary Indian food which was responsible for her appearance.
However, it must be said, that fast food outlets like Mac's and KFC etc. serve unhealthy food which only contribute to weight increase. So do wafers from 'Lays' and ice-cream from Ben&Jerry's or Baskin-Robbins. But what is of greater concern to Indians is that, these companies use cheap labour and legal loopholes to prosper in third world nations like India; they join hands with Indian capitalists and end up squeezing our national economies and damaging our traditional, healthy lifestyles.

Rod ofcourse, was just taking a pot-shot at obesity in general, I know this.
He's great at humour and in his heart, he understands the drawbacks of capitalism. This is why I love all that he writes.

moooooog35 said...

Indrani: Wow. And I thought it was just a fat Indian kid.

Oh wait...it is a fat Indian kid.

Eating disorder or not...the parents can keep the chicken curry away from the little shit.

On another note, I had no idea McDonald's used legal loopholes to prosper over there.

Do you know if they have any more franchise opportunities available?

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