Goodbye, Cruel World | Mental Poo

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Goodbye, Cruel World

Today is Moooooog's last post.

Regretfully, I have been terminated from my position here at work...

...primarily BECAUSE of this blog.

You see...

...typing this sh*t up takes time.

Not only does it take time to think and type up...

...but there's a certain amount of research I have to do to insure accuracy:

Apparently, this research violates my company's "HR Code of Conduct."

Who knew?

On the bright side, I've been offered a job at The Onion after submitting several articles for review.

My first article, "Man Sees God, Eats Own Foot," should be on their site later today. I'll be writing under the pseudonym, "Yendor Pitt."


To my faithful readers who have fed my narcissism, may I say, "Thank you."

To all the others, I say, "Go f*ck yourself."

The latter group can atone for this by sending me graphic photos in order to, um, further my research.

Thanks in advance.

Live long, and prosper.

Actually...I don't care how long you live or if you end up homeless.


Moog out.



Check the date on your calendar.

See ya tomorrow.

...but I still want those pics.


Malach the Merciless said...

I get it!

Malicious Intent said...

That's "GROUNDED"....see how upset you got me! Bugger!

Hungry Mother said...

Very nice! I was multi-tasking by removing you from my bloglist as I was reading until I came to the punchline.

billymac said...

what the hell is april fools?

Biscuit said...

Pictures on the way...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

um... ok. so this means you'll still be posting? goddamnit.

Moooooog35 said...

MI: Jeez...lighten up, woman!

Billymac: Seriously? Dude...try Google.

C.Rag: Coincidentally, the men's room wall also says this about you. I should know...I wrote it.

Tequila: Yes. Sorry to disappoint. I have two articles about my balls and poop just for you (and one combining the two). I know how much you love them.

Jen said...

I didn't fall for it! I am so smart.
Still a very great post today! You rock!

Unknown said...

Dude, I was not happy for a second. But I have my parents convinced that I am pregnant with Twins...LMAO!!

Anonymous said...

I was just about to delete your ass. Out with the old, in with the taller.

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

HA. HA. very. funny.

Moooooog35 said...

Wow. People get ANGRY.

Nice to know I'm not the only one.

Joe: I KNOW. I Googled it. Happy Google day for me!

~B. said...

:D And here I was thinking that maybe you'd get a new make-up job or something with the new position. ;)

Greeneyezz said...


And as I look over your pic of the 'Top April Fools' Day Pranks', and then look back at your Avatar, I can see you're in that 25% bracket.



Damn! this was my word verification: GSHPQMLM
(Did it really need to be that long?)

Simply Curious said...

me saw this coming...

Anonymous said...

I expected a better April Fools from you.

Anonymous said...

Rod, it's good news you haven't lost your job (I fell for it for a few seconds).
But even if this was true, you'd be bound to make a success of yourself in any other enterprise. This is so because you can turn mouth corners upwards; lighten up, otherwise mechanically melodramatic workplaces.

Take care.

Chelle Blögger said...

Ha! My April Fool's joke to you was ignoring you all day, so there. :p

Hey, were is my Dear Moog answer, dammit? I mailed it in weeks ago. :(

prin said...

Well, I fell for it because it's like April 4th and I'm so out of April fool's mode. Dang it.

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