Spazoid on the Casting Couch! | Mental Poo

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Spazoid on the Casting Couch!


Well, looky that.

We have our first entry in the "Guest Blogger" portion of "Mental Poo."

I first brought up this idea in my post, "My Poll Now has More Girth!"

Mike, a.k.a, Spazoid, was the first one to actually "bite" (I still have the scars on my penis and nipples to prove it), and provide some fodder for my readers.

In the interest of pursuing my own laziness, this works out well for me.

By the way, folks - if you've expressed interest in doing this previously (and some of you have), send me your posts.

I also have another one written by a friend of mine, Kristin...

(who previously provided me with the wonderful topic of the woman who poo's out her cha-cha)...

...but the post is about how she sh*t herself while in her car.

Mmmm.

That said - I'll let you digest that wonderful thought before I post it...

...because we all know:

GIRLS DON'T POO.

Here's Spazoid's article.

Enjoy it, folks!

*******************************


Ok Rod, let's try this. You do like Rod, right? Wait.... never mind, don't answer that.

Mr. Midget Man of Steel himself, Mental Poo, moooooog35, whatever you want to call him, has beckoned the burgeoning masses to write guest posts on his blog.

He's allowed me, Spazoid (linky love spazoid spazoid spazoid) to write a guest post on this kick ass blog.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not as funny as mooooog, but I'll try my very best not to leave too big of a black smudge on the gooey brown goodness that is
Mental Poo.

Sometime at the end of 2007, I decided it would be a good idea to start a blog. As I blogged, I enjoyed it more and more, and I was finding more interesting and talented blogs as I went.

Early this year, I ran across a blog called
"Mental Poo".

Mental Poo? Really?

That sounds exactly like my thought processes! Of course, I
had to read.

I read and I read and I read.

Then I read some more. Then I changed my underwear.

Then I read again. Then I changed my underwear again.

Then I read again. Clearly, this man was funny. And clearly, I wasn't particularly smart.

After the third change of underwear caused by laughing so damned hard, I finally went out and got myself a bucket.

I will only read his blog while sitting half naked on a bucket, to catch the various bodily fluids that insane laughter causes.

My coworkers learned also.

"Ah, spazoid, see you sitting on the bucket with your pants around your ankles. Reading Mental Poo again are you?"

And because I'm such an attention whore, I started commenting on moooogs posts.

Apparently, he took notice, because not only does he read my blog, but he's also added me to the coveted Mental Poo blog roll of power! Awesome.

Now, mooooog would have you believe that he's a simple family man working an average job in an average town. I don't think that's true. I think he's a writer for the funny as hell show Family Guy. Because that's how his posts read.

He starts with a topic and jumps from point to point with little reference to the original topic, all while coming back to the main topic and stringing it together to make coherent sense.

For example:

Today, I took my family to Disney Land.

That reminds me of the time me and William Shatner went to Germany and masturbated with lederhosen while shoving bratwurst up our bums and trying to sell boxes of All Bran.

Anyways, once we got to Disney Land we got in the line that we thought was the Mickey Mouse roller coaster. But it wasn't, it was actually the line to the bathroom.

Which reminds me of the time that I was a racehorse, but I lost all the time because my jockey was Elvis. Not the young, skinny Elvis, but the fat Elvis. It didn't help that he was dead, either. Ever tried carrying dead weight?

Anyways, my wife let my kids eat really well, but she didn't feed me a damned thing. The only thing I had to eat all day was some stupid gummy worms.

Which reminds me of the time that I was an earthworm, and some fisherman pulled me out of the ground and put me on a fish hook. I was swallowed by a barracuda, but I had the last laugh when the barracuda jumped out of the water and bit the fisherman's nuts off. Turns out the fisherman was an east Indian, and barracuda's can't handle spice. The fish developed a mighty bout of the shits and passed me right out without digesting me first. See? I won in the end.

I really hated the house we stayed in, in Florida. The bathroom had a transparent wall that allowed the neighbors to see me making dookie. I really hated that, because I was kind of hoping it was some really cute Japanese chick that would get turned on by that. As it turns out, my neighbor was William Shatner. He kept on pointing to a box of all bran and giving me the thumbs up while I was dropping the kids off at the pool.

The next day I took my kids on a haunted ride, and my daughter got scared and threw up on a really big guy in front of me. It turns out that it was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Man, I took a beating that day. Even worse than that time I had a job as Stevie Wonders afro.

Two days later, we were back home. I never, ever want to go to Disney Land again.

Next year, we're going to Disney World!

Insert some funny as hell pictures with some insane captions, and you've got yourself a
Mental Poo post!

I hope moooooooog35 blogs for a long time to come. He has to.

I bought a really big bucket.

********************


Awesome.

That'll do, Mike. That'll do.

Can we have a round of applause, please?

An awesome first entry from a wicked funny guy.

(I'm from New England...I get to say "wicked funny". In fact, in some areas, it's illegal if you don't)

Go visit him. Laugh your balls off.

Or boobs...whatever.

If you're interested in appearing here, let me know and shoot a post my way!

Thanks again, Mike/Spazoid!

Moog out.

16 comments:

rs27 said...

Don't you also say pissah?

Just asking.

Blonde Goddess said...

Wicked funny...haven't heard that spoken aloud in forever...

My dream job?
A "marital aid" tester...
Find me a job in New England and I'm moving back north...just saying.

Great blog...too funny...great links...I'm gonna check em out.

catscratch diva said...

*Insane clapping from the peanut gallery*

woo!

moooooog35 said...

rs27: I have no idea where "pissah" comes from. I heard it maybe twice as a teenager...and haven't heard it since.

Thank. God.

BG: How do you test marital aids? Once you test them, can you return them...or are they non-refundable? Just asking, because I've got this power vagina over here and...um..nevermind.

Catscratch: We have peanuts?!?

Malach the Merciless said...

I suppose I will have to get around to writing mine

Hungry Mother said...

Nice guest shot. I enjoy reading both of you guys.

billymac said...

did you guys shower together too? i hear it is wicked fun.

Mike said...

Billy:

yea, moooog runs back and forth under my legs catching the water that falls off my balls.

We're environmentally conscious like that.

billymac said...

hahahaha

moooooog35 said...

Mike,

That was a secret...SECRET.

I also didn't think that was water...but, whatever.

Naughty Lakota said...

Ya know Mike, i'm incredibly impressed that you managed to guest blog with a third of the post being pulled from Moogi's archive. Slick. I like a man who's clever. ~smooches~

errrr... almost forgot... hiyya Moog! almost left without blowing you a kiss as well. Sorry. Clever Mike distracted me.

The Offended Blogger said...

Haha!! That was wicked funny.

Did I say that right?

(Sorry, I'm from Idaho, we usually just say fucking hilarious. :)

Jillian said...

William Shatner masturbating? Do we have tapes of this...?

Mike... NICE!

And hello Mooooog! :-D

Prin said...

Awesome.

I don't know anybody who doesn't say "wicked funny".

Single In The City said...

MIKE!!! This is to funny!! I will follow you any where to any blog! you are my blogging boo!!!

I LOVED THIS POST!!!! I'm gonna have to let you guest on my blog!! Lift the spirits there!

I am impressed again!!

S.

Cindy Breninger said...

Hey trouble,
I haven't gotten my new posts from you in my e-mail any more. Whadupwithdat??? hehe Do I need to resubscribe?
Cindy
www.adayinthelifeofcindy.blogspot.com

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