Survey Says....! | Mental Poo

Monday, April 07, 2008

Survey Says....!


Thanks for using my pole.

Damn. Did it again.

POLL.

Sorry...force of habit.

The results of my first-ever "Mental Poo Poll" are in.

Let's check the results:

78 people answered the poll to help me figure out what to do here going forward.

Here was the question:

If Moooooog cared, he should:

Here were the choices:

1) Make posts shorter
2) Keep posts as-is
3) More variety (polls, etc.)
4) Stop Masturbating
5) Give us more "Dear Moog"

Here is the final tally:

Make posts shorter
8 (10%)
Keep posts as-is
39 (50%)
More variety (polls, etc.)
3 (3%)
Stop masturbating
17 (21%)
Give us more "Dear Moog"
11 (14%)

A late addition:

Moog should get more oral sex: 734 votes

...was deemed uneligible in the final tally because:

a) I added the category after the voting was done

...and...

b) I was the one who cast all the votes

Mrs. Moog was not amused.


Anyway...

The "Make posts shorter" question ended up finishing in 4th place.

I was surprised at this, frankly, because the majority of sh*t I get from people is the length of my posts.

This is similar to the grief I give myself...

....except I think that my post is far too small.


But I digress.

To those people who have told me to stop masturbating, I say this:

"Hi Mom!"

...and...

"Hi, honey. I'll be home around 5 tonight."

I'm not sure why I even put that option on there.

Seriously, if I stop masturbating, I believe I may throw off the natural balance of things.

Like, when they say:

"A butterfly beating it's wings in Ohio causes a hurricane in Hawaii"...

...I believe that breaking my habit may also cause undo global damage.

LIVES COULD BE LOST HERE, PEOPLE!!


Also, the Kleenex company may go bankrupt.

So, given the fact that the lives of countless people in remote third party countries AND the work force of a major tissue company lie in the balance...

...I shall keep abusing my nether regions.

Hey.

It's for the kids.


Anyway...

I'll also be shoving up some more "Dear Moog" entries, although the field of questions has pretty much dried up.

As such, I believe the next letter I have says:

"Dear Moog,

I like Tuesdays."


That's scintillating f*cking discussion right there, let me tell ya.

Seriously.

BUCK UP, PEOPLE.

Send me some questions!!


Anyway...

Thanks for all who voted.

I'll have another pole up soon.

Sorry.

POLL.

The other "pole" needs Viagra these days...and, personally, I can't afford it given my high masturbatory rate.

Moog out.

16 comments:

Norm said...

Besides your mom and Mrs Moog, who were the other 15 morons that wanted you to stop masturbating? Don't they realize that porn (for your beastly pleasures) drive the entire internet? That's way bigger than the Kleenex industry! People, think before you vote!

AngryMan said...

Dear Moooooog:
Did you come out on top in any NCAA tournament pools?

moooooog35 said...

Angryman: I'll answer yours right here.

No. I didn't come out on top in any NCAA pools.

There are two reasons for this:

1) Watching basketball to me is akin to watching paint dry, lint gather in my belly button, or soccer.

2) I usually have $30 in my wallet for the week. As such, my Tuesday, I have approximately 3 cents left to my name until Friday. Repeat this ad nauseum.

When people come by and ask if I want to buy a playoff square, choose brackets, go out to lunch, or borrow a quarter, I have to say, "no."

Thanks for your question!

Can a borrow a buck?

Mike said...

Funny thing, if you took the pictures away and made your blog "meat" wider, people would be complaining that there isn't enough.

Can't be more than a few paragraphs per posts.

I say, make it longer!

Also

Dear Mooooooog

Is it true that short people have normal sized genitalia, and as such, do they call you tripod?

Indrani Bhattacharya said...

Rod,

I had wanted to request you from the time I became a regular visitor to your blog, if you could lengthen your posts.

Also, I have a question. Could you please post on Asian style toilets? These are ceramic devices at floor level and have a hole in one end.

I was never able to adjust to Asian toilets. The only period during which I didn't have an option but to use one, was a miserable time for me. One or the other leg would go off to sleep and finally standing up to a pricking numbness (pricking; because the nerves would be waking from their slumber and adamant about taking instructions from the brain) was not something I use to look forward to.
The western commode is so much more easy to use, it doesn't strain any part of one's body.

Yes, I'm Indian and thus Asian, but what deserves criticism, must be criticised.
I'll never understand how millions of fellow Asians, defecate peacefully in an uncomfortable position.

Ofcourse, you have the right to differ on this matter.

Best wishes.

Catscratch Diva said...

I like your pole, damn.. I mean poll idea. It's simply adorable, like everything else on this site.

Anyhoo. New question for you to answer when you fancy to do so...

Naughty Lakota said...

I was with whoever wanted an option for "masturbate more" - which given the butterfly theory means your wanking is actually saving the world. A Moog penis altar is probably in order.

Hungry Mother said...

I know you won't try it, but just a warning: you will explode if you quit masturbating. I don't know this from experience, but a friend knows someone this happened to. It happened in a Wal-Mart somewhere in the south and traumatized thousands of witnesses, most of whom forgot it happened the next day.

billymac said...

ummm... i think condi was commenting on the size of bush's brains or integrity... :)

Prin said...

I would have voted for "masturbate more" but it wasn't an option.

Kimmylyn said...

I have been away from the Moooog way to long.. and I can see I have missed a lot.. Stop masturbating? Would you seriously consider doing such a thing? The thought alone gives me chills.

Becky..AMHW said...

I FUCKING STOPPED THAT FUCKING MASTURBATION BULLSHIT AND I FUCKING THINK I'M HANDLING IT JUST FUCKING FINE, THANK YOU FUCKING MUCH!

(I haven't typed fuck that much since 2003.)

moooooog35 said...

Indrani: I think you're starting to take the prize for longest, weirdest comments. Ever.

Everyone else except Becky: Seriously. If I masturbate ANY MORE, my wiggly will whittle away to nothing. Since it's virtually at that point now, I think I need to lay off a bit.

Becky: Holy crap, woman. Go buy something with batteries. Here, you can have my power vagina.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i only answered what i did because "motorboating tequila mockingbird" was not a choice.

Malach the Merciless said...

Dear Moog,
Why is it when David Banner Hulks up, and becomes the Hulk, his pants always stay on? I mean he enlarge about 500% but his pants still fit!

Love, Malach

Chickie said...

You use Kleenex when whacking off? Use a dirty sock. Save some trees!

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