Thanks for using my pole.
Damn. Did it again.
Sorry...force of habit.
The results of my first-ever "Mental Poo Poll" are in.
Let's check the results:
78 people answered the poll to help me figure out what to do here going forward.
Here was the question:
If Moooooog cared, he should:
Here were the choices:
1) Make posts shorter
2) Keep posts as-is
3) More variety (polls, etc.)
4) Stop Masturbating
5) Give us more "Dear Moog"
Here is the final tally:
Make posts shorter
Keep posts as-is
More variety (polls, etc.)
Give us more "Dear Moog"
A late addition:
Moog should get more oral sex: 734 votes
...was deemed uneligible in the final tally because:
a) I added the category after the voting was done
b) I was the one who cast all the votes
Mrs. Moog was not amused.
The "Make posts shorter" question ended up finishing in 4th place.
I was surprised at this, frankly, because the majority of sh*t I get from people is the length of my posts.
This is similar to the grief I give myself...
....except I think that my post is far too small.
But I digress.
To those people who have told me to stop masturbating, I say this:
"Hi, honey. I'll be home around 5 tonight."
I'm not sure why I even put that option on there.
Seriously, if I stop masturbating, I believe I may throw off the natural balance of things.
Like, when they say:
"A butterfly beating it's wings in Ohio causes a hurricane in Hawaii"...
...I believe that breaking my habit may also cause undo global damage.
LIVES COULD BE LOST HERE, PEOPLE!!
Also, the Kleenex company may go bankrupt.
So, given the fact that the lives of countless people in remote third party countries AND the work force of a major tissue company lie in the balance...
...I shall keep abusing my nether regions.
It's for the kids.
I'll also be shoving up some more "Dear Moog" entries, although the field of questions has pretty much dried up.
As such, I believe the next letter I have says:
I like Tuesdays."
That's scintillating f*cking discussion right there, let me tell ya.
BUCK UP, PEOPLE.
Send me some questions!!
Thanks for all who voted.
I'll have another pole up soon.
The other "pole" needs Viagra these days...and, personally, I can't afford it given my high masturbatory rate.