Apocalypse NOW | Mental Poo

Friday, May 09, 2008

Apocalypse NOW


Atheists everywhere are rejoicing.

They have their validation.

That's right folks....apparently....

THERE IS NO GOD.

Need proof?

Well...guess what?

I have the proof.

Here it is:


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not ONLY is she engaged...but...but...

...TO THIS?!?!?!?:


Ryan F*cking Reynolds?

Isn't this the guy from "Van Wilder?"

What did that make, like, $4 at the f*cking box office?

Could she actually aim any lower?

Van F*cking Wilder.

Douche.


Anyway...

...this has prompted a new poll on the right side of this page.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

As I believe that "Scarlett Marrying Ryan" is the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse (he was not very popular with the press until now).

Of course...this assumes you believe in God...

...which we now know is simply not possible.

He wouldn't have allowed this travesty to happen.



On a side note, my daughter's First Communion is this Saturday.

I'll go...

...but it will be in protest.

See you next week!

Moog out.

20 comments:

mauniejames3 said...

Hey...you never mentioned your poo once...that's good..so do you want to be Ryan? Or do ya just want the girl...she truly is beautiful but Ryan is no slouch...except they fight constantly...you may still have a chance...oops except for the wife and kids...bless your daughtedr on her first communion...have fun...

AngryMan said...

I agree, the world is ending. I'm going to kill that douche to save the world. Do you think they will make a statute in my honor?

moooooog35 said...

Maunie: I know...it's been a fairly long string (no pun intended) of poo articles. Enjoy the break while it lasts.

Angry: No..they probably won't build a statue in your honor. But I might. Is it okay if it's made of Spam?

The Doggy Did It said...

mmmmmm Spam Statue....




*gag*

SJ is hot tho....but who cares, they will be divorced in 2 years anyway.

C.Rag said...

He was also engaged to Alanis Ironic Morissette last year. So this is all fake.
Or he has a huge wang.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I agree with C Rag.He must really be packing to score her.

Have no fear as you always have a chance for sloppy seconds.

Until then you might want to consider going for one of the Spears sisters.I hear they put out!

Linda and her Surroundings said...

I have to agree with you on this one. That dude that she has chosen as her life partner is a poindexter. Maybe she feels sorry for him.

Mimzie Beaumont said...

Ryan Reynolds is HOT! In fact, he's SUPER HOT! That bitch is lucky to have him. Though I doubt it will last. He will eventually find someone better.

moooooog35 said...

Mimzie: You're off my Christmas card list.

PrePo: Good idea. The problem I have with the Spears sisters is that (a) 1 will land me in jail and (b) the other one requires me to be IN jail to get a shot at. Either way...I don't see a win here.

catscratch diva said...

Yes, this is one of many, many signs that I've seen lately.

wolf said...

I feel your pain. When I discovered that Kate Beckinsale was married, I died a little on the inside.

Buzzardbilly said...

I think she needed some quick headlines to overshadow her singing. Really.

Mike said...

Say hi to the holy goat while eating your jesus chunks!

rs27 said...

HE's Canadian. Thats probably why.

Smileygirl said...

Don't get your panties all in a bunch. This wedding will not take place anytime soon.

When will you hear about your poo sample? Speaking of, guess where I am as I type this???

The Engine of the Family said...

I seriously needed to laugh today and finding your blog did it for me!

Indrani Bhattacharya said...

a) and d) are not much different. I voted d) first, then thought Johansson must have thought of c) due to practical concerns and voted for it.

Malicious Intent said...

You have to let go. She is gone. She is no longer yours. Find another bimbo to wack off over. I am sorry for your loss, but you have to move on.

Mike said...

Wow, I didn't know Scarlett Johansen was actually a gay man. It's a miracle what plastic surgery can do these days.

I am sure he and Ryan will be very happy together.

Prin said...

I agree with the commenter who said he was engaged before and it's all fake. It's just a plot to boost her career.

Or maybe she got tired of fame?

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