According to the email I just got:
I don't have to worry about fitting into that bikini this Spring!
Hooray for me!
Apparently, these people don't read this blog and realize that I just spent the last month and a half VIOLENTLY cleansing my colon by way of explosive diarrhea.
By the way...a violent colon cleansing has the opposite effect on the toilet you're sitting on.
Not. So. Clean.
Two other notes:
1) Being a guy, I'm not sure that going out in public wearing a bikini (regardless how Shizzam! I look in it) is okay, and...
2) If I actually looked like the woman in this picture, I wouldn't leave the house anyway.
I'd be busy...you know...doing stuff to myself.
Screw the bikini.
Hand me that cucumber.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008