Orca? You Damn Near Killed Her? - Travelogue Day #4 | Mental Poo

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Orca? You Damn Near Killed Her? - Travelogue Day #4


So, I'm in Seattle this week on vacation with no access to a computer.

As such, I've decided to try to create a post of my activities for each day, and see
if I ended up getting it right.

This is Day #4:

*****************

Dear Travelogue,

Well, looks like the Sox listened to me and had a shutout game, beating the Mariners 1,324 to 0.

That's better. I mean, hey, I paid $60 for these seats. At least give me a shutout!!

Back to the vacation.

Today we went on a harbor cruise to try to see some Orca's in Puget Sound.

Honestly, I thought a puget sound was what came out when you were throwing up.

But, apparently, it's water that has whales and shit in it.

Good to know.


So we went on a cruise to see Orcas.

I sat inside and waited and waited and waited for the movie to start, but it never did.

I was SO pissed when we got back to the dock that I started yelling at the captain.

Me: "Listen, asshole. I came here to watch Orca but, apparently, YOU didn't get the message. There was NO movie on this cruise. NOTHING. I sat inside this cabin for an hour and a half for what? Nothing. I want my money back."

Captain: "Sir, an orca is a whale. We saw several of them on this cruise while you sat inside, alone. We were not showing the movie, "Orca" - this was to see live whales. A whale watch cruise."

Um.

Oh.

I thought $80 to see a thirty year old movie was a little steep.

Sometimes, pamphlets need to be more specific.


Tomorrow we might take a ride to Mount Rainier.

I don't know who this Rainier person is, but I'm pretty excited to mount something on this vacation.

Wish me luck!

Moog out.

12 comments:

Malicious Intent said...

Look, about the pool project. I am really sorry. They hit a gas line while digging today and it blew up your yard and one side of your house. They did save your china, but lost all of your porn collection.

We are working on fixing things, but we also found that you had already started burying people in the yard and now the cops have been around asking questions and I have no answers. Can you at least send names so they can do the DNA tests and get them out of here until the court date is set? The yellow tape is attracking to much attention.

Meanwhile, the front yard landscaping I got for free from them hiting the gas line is going lovely. I know you are going to be pleased.

Who is your insurance carrier?

C.Rag said...

I hate whales ever since Free Willey.

AngryMan said...

I remember seeing Orca when I was a kid. Terrible flick, terrible.

Mimzie Beaumont said...

Screw the whales! Save me!

catscratch diva said...

Orca is a classic and would certainly be a steal to see it for a mere $80.00.

Duh.

Slick said...

LOL Mooog, I don't even want to know if you mounted anything or not!

Evil Genius said...

You're off to mount something? Lucky bastard. I hope there'll be pictures.

Wait, it won't be a whale, will it? 'Cause that would just be freaky.

Gooch said...

Someone's getting mounted, but it's not Moog.

See, while Moog was sitting and waiting for some old, sucky movie to start, Mrs, Moog was all "Ooooo Captain, what incredible longitude you have!"

That "All Board!!" cry you heard wasn't the First Mate.

Un[Censored] said...

Nice...if you wanted to see a whale, you could have just come over to my house and took a gander at my roommate (obviously, I don't care for her).

You're going to Mount Rainier? Well *ahem* you ARE in Washington and it IS rainy...Make sure to take your booties, that trip may be a doozie!!!!

Mike said...

As long as no one mounts an orca, I think everything will be okay.

Malach the Merciless said...

Sure hope Mt. Rainer don't explode

Prin said...

If you saw this happening ahead of time, why didn't you prevent it? Poor orca will never satisfy their tourist impressing destiny. :(

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